desiredhavenfarm

Your Bestie’s Voice

And when Moses went into the tent of meeting to speak with the Lord , he heard the voice speaking to him from above the mercy seat that was on the ark of the testimony, from between the two cherubim; and it spoke to him.
Numbers 7:89 ESV
https://bible.com/bible/59/num.7.89.ESV

This week I read Numbers chapter 7. This verse stood out to me. If you know anything about Moses, you know at this point in the story he’s spent some time with the Lord. He spent 40 days on Mount Sinai listening to the Lord and receiving the commandments. He’s heard the voice of the Lord numerous times as he’s led the Israelites.

Do you remember way back when before caller ID on phones? Remember how you’d pick up the phone when it rang and have no idea who was going to be on the other line? Could be a friend, your grandma, or a telemarketer? And you wouldn’t know until they said hello.

But, when it was your bestie calling, you knew her voice immediately, right?! She never had to say, “this is ____”. You just knew and she just knew.

Why did you know her voice without caller ID? Because you spent time with her. Probably a lot of time!

Why did Moses know God’s voice? Because he spent time with Him. A lot of time.

Do you know God’s voice? Would you recognize it in an instant? If not, why not?

There’s this trend in today’s western Christianity that I think is actually harmful to our walk with God. There’s this idea, and I’ve heard it in more than one place, that says, everyone’s busy. No one has extra time, so if all you do is read the verse of the day you’re good to go. Or maybe if you have a bit of time, then just spend five minutes in your Bible.

Now, I think the original intent behind this idea was to not lay a guilt trip on people who weren’t spending time in the Word and to encourage them to do so. I get it. But it still isn’t healthy for our relationship with God.

Ask yourself this: have you ever spent 30 seconds to 5 minutes with someone and felt like you really knew them? Knew their heart, knew their desires, knew their passion and sorrow, their joy and heartaches? I think I can say pretty confidently that none of us has.

Why? Because relationships take time, effort, and intention. We have to choose to spend time with someone to really get to known them.

I’ve been asking myself lately, what kind of relationship do I have with God and what kind do I want? I already know He desires a close and personal relationship with me. And I know I want a close relationship than what I have. And that’s on me! He’s waiting.

So how do we get there? How do we get to know the great God better?

We have to spend the time. And we can’t just read the verse of the day and expect great results. So, I challenge you, and I’m challenging myself as well, to get into the Word and really spend time there. That is the number one place to hear God.

We have to put in the effort. My challenge to myself is to get up early each morning, sit on my porch while it’s beautiful out, make the coffee early, and open my Bible and pray.

We also have to be intentional. Anyone can read the Bible. I just met someone who told me they read the whole Bible with the sole intention of picking it apart and contradicting it. What’s your intention? I ask God before I start reading to speak to me through his word, to show me more of who he is and to reveal to me more of who I am.

I don’t know about you, but I sure want to recognize the Lord’s voice as quickly as I recognize my bestie’s! The only way to get there, is to put in the time, effort, and intention. We can have a relationship with God just like Moses did!

Three Things

Years and years ago, when Andrew and I were young with a couple little kids, we would sit in the evenings and dream about what we wanted in a house.

“I want a big wrap around porch,” I’d say.

“I’d love a big garage with drains in the floor and room to work on cars,” he’d reply.

“Wouldn’t it be nice to have a bit of land?” I’d ask.

“Yes, definitely,” he’d say.

Because I could draw house plans, I’d draw up what we wanted. Because he worked at a lumber yard, he look at pricing. Then we’d chuckle and say, well it’s just a dream. We can do without.

And then, one day, years and years later, God gave us those dreams. We never prayed about it, never asked God specifically for those things, but He knew. He heard those evening chats. And He loves us so much that He desired to give us those dreams.

And I never forget to thank Him for this beautiful gift. Do you thank God for what he has given you? Do you pause and look around and just let the thankfulness spill over?

When I faced severe depression, my counselor told me, just try to write down three things everyday you are thankful for. Some days it was a serious challenge. I had a hard time coming up with three things.

Sometimes I’d just write “my kids, my husband, my house”. And I was thankful for those, but I wasn’t putting much effort in. And my thoughts were so often negative, I couldn’t come up with three things.

But, I did it every night. And over time it completely changed my mindset. I used to focus so easily on the negative, even when I wasn’t in depression. But no joke, having done that exercise for the months, every night, it changed my mind.

Now I can see the positive much more quickly and am so much more thankful than I used to be. The Bible says “don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” Did you know studies have been done on this? It’s actually proven that if you go to bed angry, anxious, sad, frustrated it changes the chemical makeup of your brain? Is fascinating!

And science backing up the Bible?? Shocking, I know (insert sarcasm).

But, seriously, I’m living proof this is true. If you are having a hard time looking on the bright side, seeing the positive, and being grateful, try this! Every night before bed write at least three things you are thankful for! It will change your life. Truly!

A Mother’s Day to Remember

Mother’s Day. Where do I begin?

I’ll start with thankfulness. I’m so thankful God has filled my life with these amazing humans. They keep me going every day. They make me laugh, cry, yell, sigh, roll my eyes, and fall into bed exhausted everyday. My life is full. Full of good.

Each and every one of my kids is unique and amazing. It’s so wonderful to see them grow and become godly people. I love to figure out their interests and dreams and watch them pursue it. I love to walk alongside them in this life.

Last night our pastor asked, “What’s been the most unexpected joy in mothering for you?” My answer was that it has been when I’m walking my kids through difficult times and seeing them struggle through and grow closer to God and learn to trust mom and dad to be there for them and then seeing them come out on the other side better, those have been the times that have brought me the most unexpected joy.

But this day comes with sorrow too. Every year I find myself feeling sad for a part of the day, missing my mom. I look at these amazing kids and I just know she’d love them so much andbe such a great Oma to them. I still remember how she adored Samuel and Isaiah and carried them around all day calling them “my babies”, as in hers. She would be all over spending time with these kids.

In spite of missing her, it’s really been a great day. My family knows how to spoil me!

Andrew brought me breakfast in bed along with my Bible. We went to church and worshipped our good Lord, where I couldn’t help but think of my mom worshipping him day after day in heaven. What an amazing image! I thought, too about what an awesome reunion it’ll be when I get to be with her in heaven too!

After lunch, we worked on more raised beds for my garden. I’m forever wanting to plant more and running out of room. And since we moved a building off our property, we have plenty of stones to use!

Who knew moving stones would be so much work? Probably Andrew.

After working on the garden we went to The Blast, a new ice cream shop in Northfield. It was so crazy busy I didn’t even think to snap a photo. But it was yummy! We stopped by my mom’s grave and put some dandelions on it. (We couldn’t find any flowers left. Shocking right?)

Then my wonderful hubby made burgers on his new grill. Any excuse to use that thing! It makes a great burger though!

We’re finishing off a great day with a fire and smores!

These people really do make my day. Raising kids is anything but easy and, just so you know, God does give you more than you can handle! But He never gives you more than He can handle.

My sweet oldest boys endured a day with me too. They even hung my new string lights. Well, truth be told, I made them do it.

Spring Cleaning, Take One

It’s spring cleaning time! Time to start at the top and work our way down. Goodbye, spider webs and dust. Goodbye, broken and unused toys, jam-packed drawers and rooms. Goodbye clutter!

How does it all accumulate anyway? I mean, I know there’s 13 of us in one house but I am a thrower. I tend to throw more than save, sometimes to my detriment, but not often enough to stop me!! We go really easy at birthdays and Christmas because, let’s face it, none of us need anything more than we already have.

And yet, every time I turn around there’s more clutter and more stuff to organize! So here we go! This week was the attic. There’s lots of space up there, which I think just translates to lots of opportunity for messes! Add four girls who sleep there and eight kids who play Legos up there and you have a recipe for a tornado!

The girls moved up there about a year ago, when we rearranged rooms and I had every intention of “finishing” the room. By that I mean hang some art work, which never seems to actually get done. This time I was determined to get it actually done.

They have a really cute room with lots of space. We had repainted it last spring, which was a ton of work! Painting slanted walls is hard work and you don’t realize how big a space is until you paint! And Andrew managed to crack his head on those slanted walls too many times to count.

The great reveal:

All the Legos in one place… yes, we have too many Legos!

The finishing touches:

I let the girls choose some of their beautiful artwork from their art classes with Mrs. Stanley and we finally hung things on the walls. It makes me so happy to say it’s actually completely finished!

On to the next room…

High speed chase and hiking

Yesterday I was driving on Highway 60, running some errands. Should have been a normal Thursday afternoon errand run. I drop kids at band, then get fresh milk and head back to pick them up. Pretty ordinary and boring.

Only this time it wasn’t. This time I had to pull over three separate times for police. First I saw lights behind me so I pulled to the side. Then suddenly that same cop who had just passed me was flying into a ditch and spinning around as a pickup flew by me with two more officers chasing it.

I whipped to the side of the road instinctively, as my brain tried to process the fact that I was in the middle of a car chase. That driver wasn’t stopping or pulling over. That driver was flying down the road erratically, disobeying the police on his tail.

I watched them fly by and the officer in front of me spin around through the ditch and back into the road in the matter of a few seconds.

It didn’t really hit me until I was back on the road headed to pick up my kids. Then my hands started shaking, my chest started hurting, and the tears started falling. My brain was catching up with what had just occurred and the realization that I had just been in the middle of a high speed chase hit me hard.

I had to again pull over for more cops racing by.

And then I got angry. I mean raging angry. That jerk, who had made innumerable horrible decisions to get to that point in his life, had put my children and those police officers in danger. Mortal danger. Just a little more over the center line, just a jerk of the wheel and I wouldn’t be sitting in my living room typing this.

Say what you will about police officers. Believe me, I’ve seen the rhetoric flying around. Heck, my own governor has thrown the police under the bus. In that moment, as I watched those officers put their lives on the line for me and other total strangers on the highway, I was angered. So angered for those men and women.

They lay their lives on the line everyday. They kiss their spouses and kids goodbye never knowing if they’ll make it home. Now more than ever. If you are a police officer or love one dearly, I want you to know I support you and I pray for you. I would love to thank those cops that didn’t let up in that chase.

Later that day, we were hiking with some friends. I was honestly still shaken up and it was good to enjoy nature and soak up some sun.

After the hike one of my kids and one of my friend’s kids got in a little spat. One hit, one pushed. It wasn’t a huge fight but there was obviously some frustration.

So we each took our child aside and talked with them about what they had done, how it was wrong to react that way, what they could have done differently, and what they should do to make it right. The kids hugged and apologized. It was all over in a matter of minutes and they were happy little friends again.

What struck me in that moment, probably because of what I had witnessed earlier, was how absolutely important that interaction was. I told my friend, “if we didn’t do that with our kids, no matter how small the altercation, it could easily be them running from the cops. What we do in these simple moments matters for their adult lives. Teaching them to resolve conflict and apologize and make good choices now while they are little matters for their entire lives.”

All too often I fall into the trap of thinking I’m not doing enough and I’m failing in some way or another. We think we need to be more, do more, get our name in lights.

But the thing I’m really supposed to be doing is the small stuff. Teaching my kids to own their mess ups and sins, teaching them to say “I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”, teaching them to forgive. Because those little moments will make all the difference.

I can’t totally guarantee my kids won’t make some awful decisions in their lives. But I can guarantee I’ll do whatever I can now to teach them how and why to make good decisions. We say in our house, good choices equal good consequences, bad choices equal bad consequences. And honestly, I hope that driver faces some bad consequences for his bad choices. Not because I wish him/her I’ll, but so that they can hopefully see the trajectory they’ve put their life on and change it for the good.

Light in the Midst of Crazy

I think about 50% of being a mom is cleaning up other people’s stuff. I mean, really. They leave toys, clothes, wrappers, games, laying everywhere. Sometimes there’s so many clothes in one spot I think a kid has been raptured!

Then 50% is wiping. Wiping faces, wiping hands, wiping butts, wiping spills. I should just carry a wet rag all day.

Then there’s about 10% fun. I know, doesn’t sound like a lot, but after all the picking up and wiping up there isn’t much time left in a day! (Don’t need to mention my math.)

Today we had a few moments of mostly fun. I say mostly because, if you’re a mom you know half of any fun time is you telling someone to “stop touching that”, “don’t put your hands in that”, “don’t wipe that on your shirt”.

It was egg dying day! I think overall we’ll call it a success. The two year old, after being told to gently put the egg in the cup, tossed it in, splattering dye all over, but hey, that’s to be expected, right?!

In the midst of egg dying, the bird that had been trapped in our chimney finally dropped down into the fireplace. Yeah, he’d only been trapped for 24 hours. Guess he couldn’t figure out which way to go in the darkness.

Pause egg dying…chase bird around house…catch bird…bird slips out of hand…chase bird again…catch bird… release bird.

Back to eggs. All in a day’s work, right.

Actually back to that bird in the darkness. It took him 24 hours sitting in a dark flue before he most likely accidentally dropped down the vertical portion into the fireplace.

Do you ever feel like you are in the darkness? Lost? Don’t know where to turn?

This weekend is the best weekend of all for anyone lost in the darkness! It’s Resurrection Weekend!

A friend of mine calls it tue Superbowl weekend of the Christian faith. The whole reason we have a faith and can be saved!

Jesus defeated the darkness. Jesus made a way through the darkness with His perfect light! Follow His Light, His Truth, His Way out of the darkness!

What started in a lowly manger, wound its way to a brutal cross, and then finished with an empty tomb is the greatest true story in history! There’s no greater Light in the darkness than Jesus’ victory over death!

Happy Resurrection Day! May all you moms out there find light in the midst of the crazy!

Not Alone

Got a phone call the other day from a good friend. She and I don’t talk very often and rarely see each other, but we love each other and can pick up wherever we left off.

She was struggling.

Have you ever been struggling and then struggle to reach out? I know I have. For me reaching out is so tough. She did it. It shows such bravery, strength, and determination to reach out. I think all to often we think of it as a weakness, but it’s just the opposite.

“Tell me I’m not alone. Tell me you’ve been here.”

Those were her words. The knowledge that we aren’t alone is so powerful. Powerful enough to change the trajectory of our lives, in fact.

Why?

Because we were created for relationships and community. We weren’t created to go it alone. We weren’t created to be strong on our own. God put in our hearts this deep seated desire to be connected to others, especially when we’re going through something hard.

“You’re not alone. I’ve been there. And you won’t stay there. You’ll get through it and look back in a month, in six months, and say ‘look how different life looks now’.

I know I said other nuggets of truth to her. But this was what she needed to hear. When I texted her the next day to see how she was doing she said, “that was a turning point. I just needed to know I wasn’t alone and that it’s normal to feel like this.”

That’s it.

So, whatever you are struggling with, whatever feelings you are feeling, whatever thoughts you are thinking, you are not alone. Someone out there has gone through the same thing.

If you’re a mom, find a mom and ask her. I bet she’ll say, yep I’ve been there. Whatever it is, reach out to a friend. It helps.

At one point she said, “I thought talking about it would make it worse and bigger. But talking about it made it all seem so much better.”

I want you all to know, this is such a typical lie Satan uses. He wants us to think we shouldn’t talk about it, shouldn’t reveal it because people will think we’re crazy or won’t like us or will turn their back on us. He wants you to think talking about it will make the problem grow.

The exact opposite is true. Talk it out. If it’s really big, get a counselor. But talk it out.

And, be that friend who can listen, who can be vulnerable and say, yep I’ve been there. A good friend is a cherished gift from God. He gave you that person because He wants to show you His love right here on earth everyday. The God of the universe, who breathed stars into being, loves you that much, to give you a good friend.

Overwhelmed

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? People ask me frequently, “how do you do it all?” Or they’ll say, “I have no idea how you do what you do!”

Well, I am human! Shocking I know. But I feel overwhelmed quite frequently. I think I hide it. Probably because my mom hid it and her mom hid it. I don’t really remember my mom ever asking for help, even when she was battling cancer. I remember wanting to comfort her and care for her and it ended up being the other way around!

That strength is something to be admired. But that strength can become a weakness all too quickly.

Five years ago I brought my family to Germany for a month stay. We stayed with my Oma. At the time she was 87. My Opa had already been gone for a number of years and she had been living very independently.

The kids and I had a game we played at each meal time. We called it “Race the Oma!” Our goal was to beat her into the kitchen and do dishes before her. She didn’t know we played this game, but she wouldn’t accept our help if we offered so we decided to take matters into our own hands.

It was a fun game and turned a chore into something enjoyable. We beat her about half the time! For an 87 year old woman she was quick!

At the end of our stay she hugged me and said, “I’m so glad you came. But this was a bit too much for me!”

I have thought a lot about that comment. For five years I’ve thought about it. I think part of it is that she was used to a quiet house and her own routine. But a large part of it being too much for her was the fact that she thought she had to do it all herself. Had she accepted more help and just let us do things for her, she probably wouldn’t have felt so overwhelmed.

And here I am, feeling overwhelmed. Ha! The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it?!

I can finally admit in my life that I have a hard time asking for help. I like to be independent. At least I can admit it! Next step, actually ask for help!

As I contemplate this, I wonder, What am I teaching my kids? I already see in a couple of them an unwillingness to ask for help. Just like so many traits, our kids learn them from watching us. Thank the Lord there is grace for this! We can’t possibly stop every bad trait from being passed down. But when we do recognize one, we can work on it and try to do better than we were.

I’ve fallen behind on giving you all the memory verses but I hope you are still working on them! Or picking your own! Here’s last week’s and this week.

“Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?
Luke 6:46

The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry. The face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
Psalm 34:15‭-‬16 ESV

These have made me think a lot about my feeling overwhelmed. All the lists, all the things. But in reality God asks us to be obedient to what He wants us to do. His request is simple, trust Him, use your days to glorify Him, do what He wants. Well, it sounds simple. Harder to actually execute!

Andrew cut while I directed. We’re a pretty good team.

We all have the same amount of hours in each day. I don’t have to feel overwhelmed. I just have to ask Jesus what He wants me to do with my time.

Yesterday we had a couple projects on the list. We only got one done but it was a big one. And, bonus, we got to be outside all day!

We finished pruning the entire fruit orchard! Lots of work! But it looks great. Unfortunately I found my tart cherry tree is dying. I teared up a bit at that. I loved that tree. But it gives me a new experience to try – rooting some cuttings from the tree to grow new cherry trees!

These kiddos are great workers with cheerful hearts. They decided their stick pile was a beaver dam!

We felt really good just doing what the Lord wanted us to. Spend time as a family and work this property he has given us.

Great helper! Apparently we haven’t adjusted our eyes to the sun yet!

I hope if you are feeling overwhelmed, you’ll pause and ask the Lord what He wants you to do with your day and your life. You don’t have to feel lost and jump from thing to thing. Just pause, ask, sit at his feet, find out how He wants you to use your time.

Is It Here?

Spring, I mean. Is it real? If you lived in Minnesota for any amount of time, you know to question this kind of weather in March! If we know anything, we know March is deceitful. They say March is “In like a lion, out like a lamb” and vise versa. But sometimes it’s just a cute quiet little lamb or so we think. Turns out it was just a wolf in sheep’s clothing the whole time! Then April comes, exposing the lie with cold, freezing rain, snow, and blustery wind.

But, right now, on a day like this, is hard to imagine it’ll go cold again. The sun feels warm on your skin, you can see grass (even if it is brown), birds are chirping, and even the breeze feels warm. I’ll take it.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about our days. We look forward to spring, planting the garden, seeing flowers come up, taking walks again. We are always looking ahead. But really, we aren’t guaranteed the days ahead. We only truly have today.

Am I living today for all is worth? Am I glorifying God in my actions today? Feeling overwhelmed and stressed with the spring project list? Getting frustrated with the kids who can’t figure out math? Answering texts instead of listening to my kids?

I have to remind myself I can’t get it all done today. I just can’t. And I have to remind myself that’s ok. I like to check boxes and see a to do list crossed off. There’s just all these little people keeping me from checking any boxes!

And yet, God is reminding me even as I write, that these little people should be at the top of my list! These little people are the only eternal work.

As the spring project list looms and I feel buried by it, I need to remember I only have today and I have a lot of important work to do with my kids. If the apple trees don’t get pruned, it’s ok. If the basement doesn’t get cleaned, it’s ok, if the laundry piles up, it’s ok. (I’m saying this on repeat to myself all day today. )

If you have a hard time, like me, keeping yourself from worrying about the to do list, take a deep breath with me, go outside, listen to the birds, feel the sun, and enjoy. Remember those birds never worry about what they are going to eat and they are always taken care of.

Here are some gorgeous wild flowers my aunt took photos of in Germany to get you by until ours start peeking through! These flowers never worry about what they will wear and, yet, are clothed more beautifully than any of us could ever be.

So, don’t worry. Don’t even worry if this is real spring or The Spring of Deception. Your Father in Heaven cares deeply for you and knows your worries. He also knows best and only wants good for you.

Cast all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Impromptu Getaway

“I just need a change of scenery, need to do something different,” I stated to a friend.

“Me too,” she replied.

We both were feeling the weight of winter, the doldrums of cold and darkness and more cold. The kids were too cooped up and going stir crazy, making mom go crazy.

She’s the kind of friend I can tell my struggles too and she gets it. She knows I get her too. And what I love about her is when I told her this, she was like, well, let’s go somewhere.

A little while later, we were online finding a VRBO not too far away that would fit our two families. I’ve never pulled off a vacation that quickly. We tend to be planners, not spontaneous, jump in the car and go kind of people. It was fun just to plan something that fast and have something different to do.

Andrew took a couple days vacation, I canceled everything on the calendar, we threw clothes in bags and ran to the grocery store.

Two days later we were driving through a snow storm! A drive that should have taken 2 1/2 hours, took four through blinding snow and unplowed roads. But we made it.

We found a cabin nestled in the Mississippi River bluffs in the middle of nowhere Iowa. Didn’t really matter where we went, just that we went. But it was beautiful! And it was priceless to be with family and friends!

We did nothing and it was glorious! We ate, played games, watched movies, and stayed inside by the fire for two days. Going on vacation can be stressful, going with other families can be a lot to navigate, but not with these people. We get each other. We’re comfortable just sitting together or doing our own thing. And, very importantly, our kids love each other. They played together the entire time without fights or issue and loved every minute together.

We had some amazing laughs too, playing charades. Laughing with friends is such good medicine!

When we were leaving, her daughter said to mine, “I don’t want to leave this place. And even more, I don’t want to leave you.”

I felt the same way.

Everyone needs people to do life with. This life isn’t easy. We need people who get us, who love us, who see our need and take action. We need people who will tell us the truth and hold us accountable. We need people who will walk alongside us in trouble and in joy.

If you don’t have people like that in your life, be those people to someone else. Pray God gives you those people and pray he shows you who he wants you to come alongside. You’ll never regret it!