desiredhavenfarm

Role Model

As a mom I want my kids to pursue their calling. I want my girls and boys to be able to do whatever it is that God calls them too. I don’t want there to be hindrances and obstacles. I don’t want others to stand in their way.

But, I also want them to hold tight to the Truth. I want them to hold tight to their convictions and the knowledge of right and wrong. I want my girls and boys to know who they are in Christ and what He calls them to.

I don’t ever want to see my kids accomplish something great at the expense of their morals, their faith, and their soul. I don’t want them to stomp on others to get ahead. I would hate to see them set aside what they know is good, true, right, pure, and honest.

I’m sure, at this point, you’re agreeing with me. But you may disagree as I continue…

So many in the past few months are pointing their girls to a certain “role model”. Look what she’s accomplished. Look how she broke the glass ceiling. “Put your shoes on, girls, their lots of glass on the ground.” You can be anything! See, Kamala did it! She paved the way for you.

I say, hold on. At what expense did she “make it to the top”? At who’s expense did she accomplish this supposed success? At the end of her days, when she stands before God, will she be able to stand? Will her actions here on earth condemn her?

I don’t claim to know Kamala’s heart or any others, but the claims against her and what I know she stands for are disturbing. I don’t want my girls to look to her at all as a role model. I don’t want my girls to think it’s ok to give themselves away to unavailable men. I would be heart broken if they supported the murdering of babies. I would never want them to condone rioting. The list goes on.

If my girls are stay at home moms, serving their families faithfully and quietly, I’ll be proud of them. If they become doctors, lawyers, or politicians, I’ll support them. If they work at Aldi or Culvers, or travel as a missionary, I’ll walk with them.

But there’s something so much more important than status and the worldly prestige that comes with position. There’s something hundreds of time more important than “breaking the glass ceiling” in a falling society.

The status of their souls.

I want my girls to look to the folks models in this world who have remained faithful to God, who have said no to status and prestige to save their souls. Thankfully there are some amazing women in our lives that I’ve purposely made relationships with for myself and for the benefit of my girls. I want my kids to look to those people and I desire that my girls ultimately look to Jesus as their role model.

These women in our lives are not perfect, but they are redeemed. They are not without fault but they are humble, willing to admit fault, willing to stand for what’s right at all costs.

You know who you are, ladies. You are my tribe and I thank you for speaking wisdom, love, faith, forgiveness, and humility. You are the women I can count on in times of trouble, the women who tell me when I’m wrong and love me through it, the women who lift me up when I’m knocked down, the women who love my children alongside me. You don’t have to be perfect, because ou constantly point my girls and I to the one who is.

If you want a role model for your girls, be that role model and surround yourselves with women who stand for the truth, for conviction, for purity, for faithfulness, for real love. Point your girls (and boys) to Jesus, the perfect role model.

He’ll never let you down, never forsake you, never show you the wrong path. He is the perfect role model for all of us!

And, because He is perfect, the memory verse this week reminds us of this perfect role model.

The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything.
Acts 17:24‭-‬25 ESV

Who wouldn’t want this God for a role model?!

How do you do it?

So many ask me, how do you do it?

I don’t think I do it any better than any other mom, really. I fall short plenty and in many areas!

But here’s a few things I’ve done that do help my sanity.

First, get rid of stuff. Lots of stuff. Stop having emotional attachments to things and throw them out. It might feel hard at first and it might even seem mean to get rid of your kid’s toys, but really you are helping everyone in your house. There’s so much baggage when you are attached to stuff and so much unnecessary guilt when you don’t want to clean out your kid’s excess. You will feel lighter and more free if you just remove it! Pack up 50% of the toys, get rid of the boxes you never unpacked from when you moved 5 years ago, clean out the cabinets of all those appliances you had good intentions with. And keep doing it. I probably go through my house a few times a year and haul stuff away to Goodwill. I think the junk reproduces when I’m not looking.

I have also greatly downsized my kids clothing. My kids have about 10 outfits and that’s it. And if we get new items, we pair down the old. My boys have baskets for their items and if their clothes don’t fit in the baskets we know there are too many items. So we hand them to someone else too bless them. My girls have dressers but the same thing applies. This helps immensely with laundry as well. My out of control laundry piles consist of about 6 loads. I used to have 15 loads in my out of control piles, when I didn’t get to it daily.

Second, my kids have to help. They do a lot! After each meal two kids have to clean up the kitchen and two have to clean the dining room. My kids take turns being my kitchen helper, helping me cook so they learn how to do it too. They clean house every Saturday morning – I honestly hardly help. They each have a zone in the house they have to pick up if I say, “Zones!” They have to keep their rooms in order, do their own laundry once they are 8, and take care of all the animals. Every child from about age 2 can do something around the house. At first it might feel like it takes more time to have them help, but trust me, in the long run, you’ll be glad you took that time.

David despises chores! I only got him to smile by telling him I needed to see that grumpy face.

Third, I take time for myself. Not a lot, but I try to make sure I get a little. The most important thing I do for myself is read God’s Word. I wish I could say I do it daily but it doesn’t always happen. I do try to fit it in everyday though. That’s my goal. It doesn’t matter what I read in the Word l, if I’ve read that day I can tell a difference. I have a better attitude if I’ve read and, in turn, my kids have a better attitude, and, in turn, our day goes better. I may not even remember what I read, but that connection with the Lord really makes a difference.

This is what’s happening during my “quiet time” – massive wrestling match!

I also try to work out a few times a week. This really helps my mood and helps me get back in shape after baby Dottie! It’s not easy to fit it in, but it’s worth it. I just do 20 minute workouts so they don’t take that much time. My kids even like to join in!

Another thing I try to do for myself is create. I love to paint, make boards, crochet. Sometimes I get 5 minutes to work on my latest blanket. Sometimes I get to go to a ladies art night and spend a couple hours painting.

I used to be an all-or- nothing kind of person. Like if I couldn’t do the project from start to finish I wouldn’t start. But if eleven kids had taught me anything is to fit it in where and when I can! And if it doesn’t get finished, I can come back to it. I’d still prefer to finish it all at once, but I’ve learned to give that up, a little bit.

Give yourself grace and lots of it! His mercies are new every morning so try again tomorrow if it didn’t go so well today. I can get so down in myself for not getting my workout in or my Bible reading done, or for not having a perfectly decorated house (I know, dumb). But He has asked me to care for, mold, and shape these children so that’s where my focus needs to be. It’s not easy, but it is good!

Adventure on the farm

Did you know the pipe from your house to your septic can come disconnected?

Yeah, me either. Until today.

It’s been an adventure, let me tell you! A week and a half ago, our pipes backed up so a plumber came and cleared them, so we thought. It was fine until yesterday morning, when once again water was fountaining into our basement. (Is that a word? It is now.)

Andrew and a friend tried clearing it yesterday, because, let’s face it, who wants to keep paying the plumber. No luck.

Today, the plumber came back and scoped the pipe. Turns out it disconnected from the tank so it’s creating its own blockage. Super fun!

Today they get to dig a big hole in our frozen yard and reconnect everything, along with regrading and backfilling. We’ve been so so thankful that we have the apartment to go to the bathroom in. Whoever decided to put two separate tanks in was a genius!

It’s amazing how quickly not having water can throw everything off. I feel all out of sorts and my routine is totally thrown off. The laundry is piling up in mountainous heaps.

It made me think how blessed we really are. People all over the world don’t have indoor plumbing or even clean water. Here I just have to put a coat on and walk 100 feet to the next bathroom.

You never want to see a sign like this with 11 people in the house!

Pretty much everyone I know has commented about 2020. How horrible it was, how frustrating the slightly empty shelves in the grocery stores were. Everyone wanted 2020 to be over.

But in reality, we still had everything we needed. We still had food everyday, a warm house, cars that ran, and running water. We need to focus on our blessings and on the one who gave it all to us!

The Lord has never failed to provide and he won’t stop now. Even as I face an expensive repair bill that I don’t know how we’ll pay, I do know the God who knows. He loves each one of us more than we can know, enough to send His Son to die on a cross for us.

And because our God is good and perfect, the memory verse for this week once again did perfectly. He gives life, breath, and everything! Everything! Even the money to fix the septic.

I hope this week you have your trust and confidence in the One who made the world and everything in it. He will not fail you!

National Spouse Day

Well, apparently today is National Spouse Day. A day to remember that significant other in your life. Who knew? I kind of thought that was what Valentines Day was for, but whatever.

I do think, though, that we all too often take for granted that person by our side. I know I do. Andrew is such a steady, easy going guy that I take for granted he’ll always just be that steady, easy going guy by my side.

But when I do for a moment to think about it, I realize how blessed I am. God knew I needed, not just someone, but Andrew. That very someone. I needed and still need that steadiness and easy going manner in my life to look up to. God knew my tumultuous thoughts and sometimes impulsive actions needed to be tempered. And he knew just who to give me.

Sometimes I think about every little detail that had to be worked out in order for Andrew and I to meet. My mom could have chosen to stay in Germany after she had me instead of marrying this American and moving to a country she’d only read about in school, barely able to speak the language. They could have ended up anywhere in the country because of the airforce. I could have had a different best friend who didn’t have an older brother who happened to be best friends with Andrew. On and on the list goes.

But God.

He orchestrates our lives perfectly, even when it doesn’t seem good or right or easy. He knows what we need best. Way better than we know.

Our memory verse this week speaks perfectly to this:

Ah, Lord God ! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.
Jeremiah 32:17

Nothing is too hard for God. Do you believe that? Do you rest in the knowledge that he has created everything, including you. He knows you well, loves you lavishly, and has your life in His hands.

Today, I’m thankful for the amazing man God put by my side in this crazy life and for my Creator God, for whom nothing is too hard!

A Strong Tower

Happy heavenly birthday to my mom today! She would have turned 63 today.

I remember when I was 9 and she was turning 30. I can still clearly remember looking at her and thinking 30 is sooooo old. Funny what you remember from childhood.

Now, of course, at 41 I realize how young 30 is, and even 63 seems so young to me. Especially when my mom has been gone 19 years now. Just doesn’t seem possible.

Another thing I remember so well from my childhood was my mom’s love for Jesus. She really loved him. And she knew beyond the shadow of a doubt he loved her and that she was going to heaven when she died.

We don’t know how many days we have on this earth. My mom was just about to turn 44 when she went home to Jesus. I still say that’s too young to die, and yet, God has our days numbered before we are even born. Think about that! You can try to hide away from death, but we will all die eventually. Our days were ordained from the beginning.

Are you afraid of death? Do you know where you are going?

Your days are numbered by God. A God who is much much bigger than death. A God who defeated death and continues to do so. My mom lived her life each day to the fullest and I know she’d be doing so now if she were here. She knew who she belonged to and wasn’t afraid.

How, you might ask, could she be so sure? Because she was righteous. What does it mean to be righteous? To do enough right? To be good enough by doing more good than bad in your life? To try to be more kind than not?

No, we can only be righteous in one way. By trusting wholly in the name of Jesus and what he did for us on the cross. We can’t do enough or be enough to be called righteous but thankfully, and my mom knew this, Jesus is enough and did enough for us.

What a comforting thought! We just have to trust. No more striving, no more worrying. We are made righteous through Jesus and have a secure place in heaven because of him.

This week’s memory verse is again so applicable and perfect! God works like that, doesn’t he?

Proverbs 18:10 The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.

My mom was righteous, she ran into the name of Jesus and is safe. We can do this daily, minute by minute if we need to. He is our strong tower. If you trust in him you are made righteous and you have a safe place to take refuge.

Daily I’m comforted by this thought, that I have a safe place in Jesus and, because my mom does too, I’ll see her again someday!

Join us in memorizing Proverbs 18:10 this week, and taking refuge in Jesus!

A Blanket of Snow

It’s been a morning already. Bad attitudes, unwillingness to work, moodiness. And it’s not just the kids! I’m about to send them all out into the snow for a while! Partly so they can get pent up energy out and partly so the house is quiet for a few minutes.

We generally don’t have a very loud house, even with 13 people in it. We’re quiet people, for the most part. But every once in a while the kids are all riled up for some reason and there is talking in every room, screaming in a few, and music somewhere. I am an introvert…let that soak in. I need quiet to recharge and the Lord gave me 11 kids plus an extrovert husband. Many of my kids are extroverts too. On top of that, many people in my house are auditory processors. Yeah…they have to talk everything out…out loud…to me. Of course, I’m an internal processor.

God likes to stretch us, doesn’t He?

This morning we woke up to a winter wonderland, truly! I have rarely seen such a beautiful snowfall. Every branch of the trees were covered with inches of snow, all of it resting precariously and perfectly. One slight breeze would have knocked it all down, yet it clung there in the stillness of the morning. We couldn’t resist peering out from every window, see the different trees blanketed in their own special way. Even now, as I glance out the window at the trees, the beauty has been marred by wind and is no longer as perfect.

At breakfast the kids were marveling at how everything was so smoothly covered in snow, as if all the unevenness and harsh lines of lawn, sidewalk, drive, steps, and trees were pulled taut and straight, like ironing out the wrinkles on a long stored garment. Jacob said, “It’s like a nothing world out there. There’s nothing, just white and smooth.”

It struck me, this is what God means when he says, “though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow”. (Isaiah1:18) All the harsh creases and stark lines of sin are smoothed. We are pulled taut until the wrinkles are gone and the only thing left is a ‘nothing world’. We are made new.

A splendid snowfall like the one today, is a gentle reminder that our bad attitudes, our moodiness, our unwillingness to work can all be covered in a perfect, beautiful blanket of white. A white that smooths the harshness, that fills in the holes and imperfections. And while the beautiful dropping of snow only lasts a few hours at best, the blanket of white Jesus covers us in lasts forever. And, it’s new every morning. We don’t get to wake up once or twice a winter to an amazingly wonderful blanket of snow. We get to wake up every morning to a perfect, new, abundant mercy, poured out lavishly from our loving Father.

So, just like playing outside will readjust attitudes in our house, God’s mercy and washing will readjust our attitudes in our hearts. May you be washed white as snow by our good good Father!

Hide It Away

Have you ever been told something three times? If you hear the same thing the times you tend to pay attention, right?

Well, last week I had the same message from the Lord the times. Ever had that experience? He often speaks to me like that. He’ll give me the same message from the different sources in the course of a few days and then I really know I better listen. It’s probably because he knows I won’t pay attention if he just says it once ;).

The first time I was reading Luke with the kids. We read about Jesus being tempted by Satan in the desert. The thing that struck me was every response Jesus gave was Scripture. He knew God’s Word and was able to use it wisely.

A few days later, a friend was talking about the current state of our world and how crucial it is that we and our children have God’s Word hidden in our hearts. And then the very next day, our pastor explained that if we want to walk by faith, we better know what God’s Word says.

Ok, God! I hear you! I’m paying attention. I felt very convicted to start memory verses with my kids and for myself as well.

We’re starting with Psalm 8:1, “Oh Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens.”

What a great place to start!

Let’s get our hearts focused on how majestic and glory-filled God is as we hide his Word in our hearts. And what a great verse for our present time.

Are you over focused on what’s happening around you?

God’s majestic name is over everything that’s happening on the earth. He is in control and still on his throne.

His glory is far above and greater than all your worries, fears, problems. He knows exactly how your are struggling and he’s powerful enough to calm you and help you!

Focus on his glory and majesty, not this world! And, join us in memorizing his perfect word! Let’s see how many verses we can hide away this year!

When life gives you extra oil…

Just had to share a quick funny for you to enjoy today.

I was in the middle of something and at the same time was telling my kitchen helper what to put in the bowl to make pizza dough. Friday Night Pizza Night, you know.

I told her, “2 cups of warm water and 1/4 cup oil and I’ll be right back.” I went upstairs for a quick minute and came back down to hear her cheerfully say, “Two cups of water and two cups of oil, done.”

Uh oh.

That’s a lot of extra oil…My first thought was, well, we gotta start over. But I hate throwing food away…

When life gives you extra oil…make extra pizza dough!

Good thing we have this gigantic bowl at our house! (Right, Steph)

40 cups of flour later… (good thing I buy flour in 50 pound bags)

Hey, now we have 8 weeks of pizza dough! There was a time in my life when I would have gotten angry over this. I was still annoyed at the start, don’t get me wrong. But God is good and never stops refining me. Today I just went with it and had fun with the kids in the midst of it.

Looking for the good in every situation sure makes a difference in how our days go!

“Watch This”

Andrew and I were driving home Saturday night from house church and we were talking about what we’d learned. One thing that always amazes us is how our leader can correlate different passages in the Old and New Testaments. I mentioned I have a hard time doing that because I don’t always remember what I’ve read or where I read it.

Well Monday morning Dottie got me up early so I decided to spend some time in my Bible. I’m doing a reading plan from YouVersion called “Jesus in the Torah”. I’m also reading Proverbs with a friend for the month of January. And I’m trying to get better about reading our house church passages before we get there Saturday evenings.

Last night, we read through Genesis 47-50. Genesis 48:15 says, “May the God before whom my fathers Abraham and Isaac walked…may he bless these boys”. Derrick said remember the word “walked” as it has greater meaning. He told us to keep it pinned in our mind.

Well, then this morning as I did my reading plan, “Jesus in the Torah” gave me Psalm 119:1-8 to read today, along with a video overview of Genesis, which was really interesting. But right away in Psalm 119 it says, “Blessed are they whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the Lord.”

And then it goes on to tell you exactly what that means and how it looks. I just love when God does those kinds of things.

Psalm 119 says, be blameless, keep God’s laws and statutes, seek him with all your heart, learn his righteous laws and obey its decrees.

AND THEN, I went over to Proverbs 1. Oh man, sometimes God just wows me!

Proverbs 1 is all about wisdom and what happens whether you listen to wisdom or choose not to listen. How else can we know God’s laws and statutes and obey them but by knowing wisdom, listening to wisdom, and following wisdom?

It goes right into what we need to do. Listen to instruction and teaching, avoid temptation and being drawn into sin, and know that their are consequences to sin. In 15 it says, “do not set foot on their paths“, speaking of sinners who try to entice you.

Not only are the instructions right there for our taking, but the consequences are clear too. Verses 18 and 19 say, “These men lie in wait for their own blood; they waylay only themselves! Such is the end of all who go after ill-gotten gain; it takes away the lives of those who get it.”

On the contrary, if we walk with the Lord, verse 33 gives a promise, a good consequence, if you will. “But whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm.”

This year I hope you dig into God’s Word daily and deeply. It doesn’t do to just read it, shut the book, and go on with your day. Really dig in, find these correlations, ask God to reveal them to you! Nothing in His Word is accidental, the correlations are many and real, and the best part – He wants to reveal it all to us!

As I told Andrew about all this he said, “God heard you and was like, oh yeah, watch this!”

It doesn’t seem to matter how many years I’ve walked with God, He still amazes and awes me!

Save a little

I have to brag on my son a bit today. He has spent the last 3 years working part time jobs in the midst of school and has saved and saved. He’s not a spender by nature, but when we went through Financial Peace with him he really embraced it.

And, yesterday, after 4 months of searching, he bought himself a really nice car. With cash. Even the dealer was impressed when he handed over the wad.

I’m not great at saving money, I’ll be honest. Now I don’t really have any to save! But watching him, just working small part time jobs but choosing to save, has taught me a lot. You don’t need to make a lot to change your habits and save some. And it really does pay off.

He was able to look for a few months for just the right deal. And he is so happy with what he found. He got every feature he wanted; the most important of which is all wheel drive for our crazy winters. The best part is he found something that will last him the next 10 years if he takes care of it, and all without a loan that just sucks more money!

He has taught me a good lesson and I’m so proud of him!