A Godly Friend

This week I had two very different encounters with two different people and they both really made me think about how we interact with others and how much it can impact a person.

The first was an encounter with someone I’ve known for years but hadn’t seen in a long time. There was no how are you, how’s life kind of questions. I was holding my granddaughter and the person asked, “who is this?” I replied with who she was. The next question was, “And are you done having kids?”.

If you need a lesson in what to ask a woman you barely have a relationship with, here it is.

I was recounting this story to my husband and our 19 year old son. When I got to that question that was asked of me, my 19 year old right away interjected, “Oh no, you don’t ask a lady that!”

There’s your lesson.

The second encounter was with someone I fairly regularly spend time with. Our conversation surrounded school this upcoming year for a while and I was telling her about a dilemma I have with what to do in our schedule. We have been doing something for years that has been fine and suddenly the schedule is changing and it’s felt like a weight on me all summer. I was telling her this and she replied, “I think you know what God is telling you to do. You just have to obey.” She also reminded me why we home school, why we have our kids at home and aren’t filling our plates with every good thing.

I left one of these encounters feeling interrogated and almost a bit exposed in not a good way. There was prying but not encouragement. There was morbid curiosity but not a genuine desire for friendship.

I left the other encounter with a feeling of a weight having been lifted off, of my eyes having been turned to Jesus, and of a true friend who spoke into my life when I needed to hear it.

Proverbs 27:17 says, Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

Are you a friend who sharpens your friends? Do you turn their eyes to Jesus and his Word? Do you uplift and encourage but also speak the truth in love when your friend needs to hear it?

Being a good friend doesn’t mean patting your friend’s ego and always telling them they are doing a great job. It also doesn’t mean always judging what they are doing. If we are going to be godly friends, we need to be willing to speak the truth so our friends get closer to the Lord and His will for their lives AND we need to be willing to hear the truth from a friend and change our path when needed.

I’m so thankful for godly friends in my life. And, honestly, I’m thankful for those people who don’t encourage or uplift as well because they teach me how not to be a friend to others!

This was the sky this morning on my run. I just kept feeling like the Lord was saying, Good morning, I love you. Then he reminded me of the good, godly friends I have in my life that show me his love everyday.

Thank you, Jesus, for iron friends!

Birthday Boys

I love August 4th.

Today is the day I became mama, the day my twin boys came into our arms. We weren’t expecting it at all that day. I was 36 weeks and thought we had more time. But my body said otherwise.

I don’t think I realized at the time how sick I was. Looking back I can see God’s hand on it all. He took care of me and the boys through quite an ordeal. I don’t love that we had such a rough start, but I’m thankful for how God moved and was there for us.

I think it’s like that in life, you go through something hard and it’s not until you are through it that you can look back and see God’s Providence and protection. He is truly always right there with us.

Today marks 25 years since that day and so much has passed. I really can’t believe so many years have passed. Now both boys are married and living their amazing lives and I get to watch them with so much joy. There truly is no greater joy than seeing your children being adults who are kind, generous, wise, funny, and successful. It makes all those years so so worth it – so if you’re a mom in the throes of know-it-all adolescence or tantruming toddlers, don’t give up! All those boundaries and discipline and love and sleepless nights will pay off.

When I look at these beautiful people, I’m in awe that they are part of my family. I get choked up thinking about those sweet, smiley little boys I once knew who are now handsome young men. I feel so proud that I get to say, these are my sons.

Samuel and Isaiah, I hope you both know how proud I am of you. I hope you know how much I love you. I hope you know you always have a piece of my heart. Happy 25th birthday! Feels like a big one. Celebrate and remember to thank the Lord for all He’s given you.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights” James 1:17

A Week of Addition

What a week!

I don’t have words for the amazing things from this week. Sometimes you wait a long time for something and it feels like eternity, then, in the blink of an eye, it’s happened.

This past week we added two to our family!

Ok Tuesday our sweet granddaughter was born…Beatrice Sparrow, or Honey Bea. She is amazing and perfect and we’re all madly in love. Liv did an amazing job and they’re all recovering well!

Holding her in my arms was so special and just what my heart needed. Jonah would have been due just a couple weeks ago, and while I haven’t dwelt on it much, this was so good for my heart.

Of course the kids are smitten with their niece and no one wanted to give her up.

Then this weekend our son Isaiah got married! Andrew and I flew to California and celebrated with them and it was so wonderful!

Isaiah met Karli last summer and we knew right away she was the one. He spoke so differently about her and I knew he was in love. It was a gorgeous day and a lovely wedding.

It’s really really strange to be in a place where my kids are getting married and having babies, but it’s so beautiful too. When they are little and you struggle through potty training and naps and obedience, sometimes you wonder if you’ll ever make it. Then comes the adolescent years and the hormones. That’s when you really wonder if you’ll make it.

All of a sudden, they’re getting married and having babies and have become these amazing adults who are your greatest friends and allies. I truly stand it awe of what God has done.

Many times people ask us how we do it. I’ll tell you the one thing that keeps me going and full of hope… prayer.

Pray for your children. Pray for their spouses, even when they are toddlers! Pray they will love and follow Jesus and be ok with it looking different from your faith journey. Pray God would pour his wisdom and mercy on them. Pray they would return to the Lord if they’ve wandered. Never cease to pray.

Fight Mode, I Mean Summer Mode Activated

We’ve entered into summer mode and I think we entered a little too hard. Over the last couple weeks we’ve fallen out of any and all routine. Might sound great except for the repercussions.

Bed times have slid later as the sun has stayed up longer. Andrew and I sit on the porch in the perfect evening air watching the sunset and the kids run through the darkening yard, laughing and squealing as they play. It’s one of those moments you don’t want to interrupt because it’s so perfect.

Eating habits have tanked as people don’t feel hungry because of the heat, so snacks abound and good meals dwindle. Productivity has sunk close to zero as everyone “forgets” to make their beds and shower regularly and suddenly no one knows what chore is theirs anymore.

One morning it all culminated in a massive shouting match between four kids. They had woken up and turned on the tv, which was becoming habit. When they had to get off the couch to do chores, there was whining. As they fed animals the whining escalated to fighting and calling each other names and even throwing things. I stood on the porch and listened to the surround sound of nastiness in my yard.

I decided swift and firm action had to be taken. Who wants their summer to sound like that?

I gathered the four up who had been fighting and whining all morning and informed them they’d be working hard all day. Thankfully I had a list of things that needed to be done that involved physical labor.

They spent the day pulling fence posts, moving cattle panel, cleaning the cat space, and cleaning the yard. There were a few grumbles but the threat of more work quieted them quickly. I’m not usually one to make a punishment last a long time but I felt that they needed a very loud clear consequence for their nastiness. It needed to end immediately.

On top of that I got back to meal planning because we all know, good, home cooked food makes a huge difference in our children’s behavior. And we got back to a normal bedtime routine. My kids needed a few reminders that it’s perfectly ok to go to bed when the sun is still up.

The last week since this happened has been relatively peaceful. I think the message got through to everyone.

Honestly, I’d highly recommend keeping a list of things that require some physical labor around your house. Things that you want done but maybe don’t need to be done. That way, if you encounter massive bickering and fighting, you have some ammo to fight with!

That evening we had a picnic with some friends and my kids played hard. On the way home, they all said repeatedly they were SO tired. I just smiled.

They slept quickly and solidly that night.

Sometimes I think we can grow complacent and deaf to our children’s behavior. We hear it all the time and tune it out. But, we need to be aware of their hearts and how they are treating their siblings. It matters, everyday. Addressing it quickly and consistently helps them learn it’s just not acceptable.

On top of that we need to be always training our children in how to handle conflict. I know way too many adults who either run and avoid or go straight to yelling when it comes to conflict. Our children can be taught how to have a conversation without demeaning the other person!

Enjoying Spring

I realized this spring that I’ve been homeschooling for 20 years now! 20 years! I’m not sure how so many years have gone by, but time just keeps moving.

The pendulum has definitely swung for me in my homeschool journey. I used to HAVE to check all the boxes in the curriculum, make sure we did every subject everyday. We said no to a lot because of the bookwork or I tried to cram everything in, which left us all exhausted and crabby.

Now, I’ve very slowly learned over the years to enjoy life, the change of seasons, the opportunity for learning that comes elsewhere outside of books.

Especially in Minnesota, where we can be stuck inside because of blinding snow, high winds, and subzero temperatures. When spring comes, we’re all itching to go outside. So, we do! And learning takes place there, maybe even better than in the books. This spring, we set aside the books to head to Kentucky and never picked them up again! When we got home, we started building, cleaning, planting. We’ve been playing in the sprinkler, running around the yard, going hiking, and making a new garden.

I’m especially excited about my garden this year. After three years of a huge CSA garden that took so much time, I’ve downsized considerably and am learning to love it again. Gardening is in my blood. I grew up watching my oma and mom “putter” in their gardens. My mom would come home from a long day and work and grab a cup of coffee and go move plants, weed, just stare at the flowers. I find I love doing just the same!

This year I didn’t start any seeds which was weird for me but felt so good! The Lord totally blessed that when I stopped at a local grocery store and found beautiful tomato and pepper plants for a great price! Elliot and Andrew built these beds for me from wood sitting in our barn. It took us an hour to plant and we all enjoyed that it took so little time after hours and hours the last few years.

Evie said, you know, I’m glad we did that big garden for a while because now we’ve learned to really appreciate our garden and the little work this one will take.

She’s so right! It’s given us a new appreciation for it all.

I’ve been working around the yard as well. Hauling rocks and rocks and rocks. We have an old foundation left over from a shed and it has beautiful limestone blocks in it. They are hard to dig out and heavy but it’s a great workout!

I finally edged these garden beds in front of the house, which finishes them off so nicely. And added a beautiful bird feeder!

Now that some of the plants have been settled for a few years they are really taking off and blooming so beautifully!

I’m thankful for beautiful plants and flowers to enjoy and the birds, bees, and butterflies they attract! What a joy to work in and see God’s creation all around my farm!

Family Trip

Taking a family trip is never easy with a large family, but one thing we’ve learned is to just do it. Pack the bags, clear the schedule, and get away together. It’ll really never get easier – there are always unfinished projects, work, school, activities, and more. But it’ll always be worth setting it all aside to spend time together.

We drove 14 hours to get to Kentucky, which by the way, is an absolutely gorgeous place. When you come from flat prairie where the wind is almost always howling, those lush, rolling hills are like heaven. I could have stayed and just stared over those hills!

The view from our Airbnb!

Back to the drive – we have a couple children who really can’t stand being trapped in a vehicle for very long. We had quite a few challenging and character building moments. Taking a vacation isn’t always the easy choice! We did make long stops to play at playgrounds so that helped. We found this really cool tank in Illinois that was used by the Marines in WWII, The Vietnam War, and The Korean War. Of course, we had to send a photo to big brother in the Marines.

The Creation Museum and the Ark never disappoint! They are amazing. If you know Jesus as your Savior but don’t truly understand Genesis, you need to go. You will have your eyes opened to God’s power, sovereignty, plan, purposes for everything, and His love. There’s no denying there’s a Creator, and an intelligent one. There’s no denying He is so powerful He did exactly what He said He would.

It was fun to watch my older children walk through and read and experience these places again. They were there six years ago but could comprehend and take in so much more this time. I saw their faith deepening and awakening as we visited.

Every evening we sat together in our Airbnb and wrote down our favorite things from the day, which was a really fun way to remember the day. There were different exhibits that struck each person differently, there were lessons that stuck out, and there was some good thought happening.

The younger kids loved the zoos. There were really different animals than we have at our zoo and it was fun to see them all. The King Vulture was a favorite as he spread his wings and showed off. At the Ark the kids really loved the displays showing how the animals would have been housed and cared for. They had some really ingenious ideas on how this could have happened and it was eye opening to think about all that would have gone into planning and building the Ark. We did some fun things too, ziplining, a carousel, a 4D movie, and the playgrounds.

It was hard for me to decide what my favorite things were but a few stick out. One, on the long drives Eloise wanted me to sit next to her in the first bench so Elliot and I would trade seats. It was heartwarming to see Andrew and Elliot relate to each other and just have that time together. I often look at that giant of a boy and wonder how he grew up. And I just love that he has such an amazing relationship with his dad.

Another thing that really stays with me is in the evenings when we got back to the Airbnb we’d all have supper and then squish together on the couch and watch Little House on the Prairie. They had a channel that just ran the episodes continually! We got so invested in what was happening and would cheer and yell NO as characters did things. Then we’d laugh at ourselves for how invested we were!

Lastly, there was an exhibit called Fearfully and Wonderfully Made. It walked through how a baby develops from conception to birth, showing how big the baby is at each stage and what part of their body is developing. I watched my children look on in wonder and awe. They asked questions in hushed tones as though they were seeing something sacred. Which, in fact, they were. We showed them how big Jonah was when he went to heaven. They were all so taken in by it and all I could think was, Thank you, God, for placing deep in their hearts a respect and love for the sacredness of life. It’s something that is so missing in our world today.

If you don’t believe in Jesus as your Lord and Savior, know he loves you and has loved you from before you were even formed. Go see for yourself how much he loves you! It’s worth the drive!

As we were driving home, Andrew said, “I’m really glad we did this. We’re all going to remember it for a long time.”

One thing I want to leave you with is this. At one point in the Ark, you come upon the door. There was only one door into the Ark and God sealed it until the day they were to leave the Ark. On that door is a lighted cross. Wonder why?

Because Jesus is the One Door through which we have to go to get to heaven and eternal life. There is no other way. This world and even many pastors will tell you there are many roads and many gates to heaven. But it just isn’t true.

Jesus said, “I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and go in and out and find pasture.”

Unexpected Blessings

We’ve been down a vehicle for the last week. It seems to be a revolving door as to which car needs repair so it’s not a new story. But something struck me this week.

Sometimes my heart gets jealous and I wish we could drive newer cars, ones that maybe didn’t need to be torn apart and put back together every month. Having a car that is ten years old is really really new to us.

I realized this past week how much a hardship like this brings us together as a family. Yes, I realize having a car break down is a first world problem and that it isn’t a huge hardship considering we have other cars. But it is still a struggle when we have people moving in numerous directions every day and we need all the vehicles. It’s also a hardship because it always costs more money!

But everyday we’ve all talked and organized where people need to go and who needs to drive who. Everyone has stepped up and been willing to sacrifice and adjust so we all can make it to as many activities and appointments as possible. It’s not easy but with everyone pitching in, it’s been doable.

A sweet lady I know told me something long ago that has always stuck with me. She said, “I was always so thankful we were poor when my kids were growing up. It was such a blessing. My kids learned to work hard for what they wanted and to be so grateful for what they had.”

I’ve thought about that often over the years and it really is true. My older children know how to work hard and save and be smart with their money. My younger ones already love putting their money in their piggy banks to save up for what they really want.

Sometimes it really is hard and we have to sacrifice things and say no to things because there simply isn’t the money for it. But it’s so rewarding to see my older kids pull together and share their vehicles and drive their siblings places. It shows how much they all value family and working together. It also shows how sweet and selfless their hearts are.

While I wouldn’t ask the Lord to keep us driving old vehicles that love to break down, I can see the fruit in it. He’s working the jealousy out of my heart in the midst of it too!

Psalm 147:8-9 ESV
He covers the heavens with clouds; he prepares rain for the earth; he makes grass grow on the hills. He gives to the beasts their food, and to the young ravens that cry.

1 Peter 5:7 ESV
casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

He loves us and always knows what’s best for us. It’s important for us to see situations from his perspective and not sit in the “pity me” chair. He works everything for good for those who love him!

Unexpected Project

About six weeks ago we started a weekend remodel project. You can already guess where this is going, right?

Six weeks later and we’re finally finishing up.

It all started with a leaky shower head about a year ago. We tried replacing the shower head and handle without luck. So we tried that again. Still didn’t work. Fast forward a year later and we noticed the shower surround and base had small cracks in them. They didn’t appear to go through but we didn’t want to wait until they did!

So we thought, we’ll just replace the shower. Long ago there was a claw foot bathtub in the bathroom and as much as I wish we could have replaced the shower with a new tub, it wasn’t realistic. The budget was small and it needed to function for our large family.

Andre got this beautiful stone composite shower surround at work and it was a really great price. He tore into the old shower and replaced the pipes that had been causing the leak. Thankfully there was no moisture in the walls!

Then as he tried to install the stone he discovered the walls weren’t square. Should have known, right? Old houses are never squared up! It took some effort and some good advice from a contractor that installs this product frequently (thank you!) but we got the shower in. Then because of the different size we had to do some sheetrock work so we had to paint. I had been meaning to paint that bathroom for quite a while anyway so I actually had the paint.

But then I looked up and noticed how yellow the ceiling had become from years of moisture. And the outdated cream light fixture.

Thankfully I had ceiling paint from a previous project. But a new light fixture wasn’t in the budget. So I got a can of antique bronze spray paint and made the old new! A little paint and some good scrubbing of the glass and it looks like a brand new fixture!

While we were at it, we decided to replace the toilet which was so old it took numerous gallons of water to flush. Thankfully Andrew gets those at work too!

As we were going to replace the toilet, we noticed the floor was in pretty bad shape. It’s a wood floor, probably because this room didn’t used to be a bathroom when the house was first built. We didn’t want to cover the wood floor but it needed some protection.

Poor hubby! While I was gone at a women’s conference, he got to sand and refinish the floor.

And then I figured, I’d better be thorough and paint trim. Had that paint too from the bedroom remodels!

Well that weekend shower replacement turned into six weeks of bathroom remodel, but, hey, now I have basically a brand new beautiful bathroom!

I’m so thankful my hubby can do this kind of work. He’s so patient as I add things to the project list. He’d say, “that wasn’t in the budget”. And then he’d go to Menards and get what he needed.

When we moved into this house, we knew it was full of projects. We have dreams of how we’re going to fix things up. This project wasn’t in that dream list, just became a necessity all because of a drip, drip, drip. But now it’s a beautiful space that is very useful to our whole family!

He is Risen

It’s Sunday! And not just any Sunday. Resurrection Sunday! The day we hinge our entire faith on.

Had the story ended on Saturday, it would have been just another story. The disciples were discouraged and afraid. The man they had come to follow and love was dead and everything they thought they knew was crumbling.

Thank the good Lord the story wasn’t over.

We don’t have a faith and a hope because of what we do, because of how good we are, or even because Jesus walked the earth and died on a cross. We have a faith and a hope because Jesus lives!

He lives. As our pastor said this morning, we have a living hope because he lives.

Some years it’s just another Resurrection Sunday and it doesn’t sink in. But this year, it’s really impacted my heart. There is no greater joy than knowing we have a God who loves us so much he sacrificed his Son for us.

A lot of life feels like that Saturday did for those disciples. We can’t see the end, we don’t know what the outcome will be. We feel discouraged and depressed because it feels hopeless. But thank God we don’t have a Saturday kind of hope!

We have a Sunday kind of hope. The kind of hope that is impenetrable and unwavering. The kind of hope that outlasts any circumstance. The kind of hope only a living God can give.

Jesus overcame death for you. For me. For whatever you’re facing. He is Risen! He is Risen indeed!

If you don’t know Jesus as your living hope, today is as good a day as any to ask him to be your savior. He loves you so much he endured unimaginable torture and death. Just so you could have a place in heaven. And if you think you’re unworthy, you’re right. We all are. Good thing that doesn’t matter to Jesus. He still wants you as part of his family!

For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him will not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

Who are you Asking?

When you’re struggling with something hard in life, where do you go for help?

Your spouse, a good friend, a counselor, a recommended book or website?

At first glance, these may seem great. You think, yeah that friend can be trusted. That book was written by someone with a big education. Surely a counselor knows what they are talking about.

None of these are evil or necessarily wrong. But they aren’t right either!

James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God…”

The Bible is very clear about who we are supposed to go to first. And it comes with a really great promise!

“…who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”

Not only will God pour out wisdom generously on you when you ask, but he’ll do it without reproach. Meaning, he won’t belittle or berate you for not knowing. He’ll gladly give you all the wisdom you need!

He may direct you to a godly friend who has been through something similar or a godly book. He may point you towards someone who has the wisdom to impart to you. But, he asks that we go to Him first.

And here’s the most important part…we need to listen. How often have I asked the Lord for wisdom and then forgotten to pause and listen for His answer? Too often to count!

I’ve discovered He often speaks to me in threes. I’ll pray for something and then three times from different sources I’ll get my answer. Maybe a friend will mention something, I’ll read something in my Bible, and then my pastor will say almost the same thing. Or a verse will be brought to mind at different times or a week or so. But I have to have my eyes and ears open and be ready for His answer!

Are you struggling with something hard with a child? Is there a relationship that’s been difficult? Do you not know what to do for school next year? Is there a dream tugging at your heart that you don’t know how to navigate?

Ask the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change (James 1:17) Remember, He desires to give you good and perfect gifts. He wants to lavish His wisdom on you! He’s not stingy and His gift won’t run out!