Desired Haven Farm

It’s been a hard week.

We had to have a “Come to Jesus moment” with our son that went well into the night. It ended well but it’s still emotionally draining. Those hard conversations can take a lot out of you, sometimes more than any physical work.

A friend had a stroke and has been in the hospital all week. No one really knows if she’ll recover. Visiting her was so hard because the last time I spent time with her she was talking, laughing, and enjoying a cookie we had brought her.

My husband’s uncle passed away. Though we knew it would happen eventually it’s still so difficult when it actually happens. Right now my hubby is mowing the lawn with the mower he gave us and I just can’t stop thinking about him and what a great guy he was.

A friend’s brother was in an accident and what life-flighted to a hospital. We’re praying for a miraculous and complete healing. My heart is so burdened for him and the family.

So, it’s been a hard week.

This morning I was praying over all these things and God reminded me of the good that happened this week. He reminded me of the blessings and joys in the midst of trials.

Our son is restored emotionally and mentally and even he says a burden is lifted off of him. The next morning he was like a different kid, cheerful, willing to help, laughing with his siblings. He gave me a big smile and said Good Morning! That might not seem like a big deal but when we’ve gone months with a sullen, withdrawn teen, it is a big deal!

Our dishwasher has been broken for weeks and we have just been hand-washing everything. We haven’t had the funds for a new dishwasher so we’ve just been dealing with it. Andrew wanted to just get one off of Craigslist regardless of not having the $100 for it and just figure it out later. But I kept telling him that the kids were doing a good job washing and it was really good for them. They all had to work together to wash, rinse, dry, and put away. There were some fights, but a lot of laughing and goofing around too. It was good for their relationships. Still, deep down, I really wanted to get it replaced before the baby came. It takes a lot longer to hand wash than load a dishwasher and with a new baby, homeschooling, and other chores, I wasn’t really looking forward to washing dishes long term. I didn’t say anything about it, just asked the Lord to provide. He did more than give us $100 for a used dishwasher!

On Wednesday evening someone snuck a dishwasher onto our front porch! I was even home with the little ones so I have no idea how I didn’t hear something! The dog didn’t even bark (tells you what kind of  guard dog we have). I have no idea who did it but whoever they are is well loved by our family! My kids were so excited! I was shocked! I know I shouldn’t be surprised because God has done things like that before for us and yet, it still puts me in awe every time!

Blessings don’t negate the trials. They don’t make the hard stuff go away. But they do remind us in the midst of the hard and negative that God is still with us, walking right beside us, holding us up, and seeing us through. He loves us so much he’ll replace a dishwasher for us! He loves us so much he’ll give us full healing, whether it be emotional, spiritual, or physical. And He never leaves us! That’s what those blessings remind us of.

In the midst of whatever you are facing, I pray you see God right there with you, loving you and taking care of you. I pray you never lose sight of Him and how much He loves you, even when things are so hard there seems to be no light. Because there is always light, always blessings.

Mother’s Day is always a bittersweet day for me. I love that my family does whatever they can to make me feel pampered and special on Mother’s Day. My kids always make me special cards, Andrew always makes me a special breakfast, usually in bed.

This year he would have brought me breakfast in bed but while he was cooking and I was sleeping there was a yell, “I need someone to wipe my butt!” I, unfortunately, was the one to wake up to that and stumbled to the bathroom. He didn’t just need his butt wiped…not sure how he got it everywhere, but he did. The end result was a clean bathroom and a soiled foot on my part. I’ll spare you the details. So instead of crawling back into bed to await my breakfast I hopped into the shower.

But I got a delicious, hot breakfast on the couch with my Bible. The day was improving! It can only go up from a bathroom covered in poop, right?!

We went to church, had a picnic, went to the zoo, and even got some plants into my new raised bed gardens that Andrew built and filled for me! He’s such an awesome hubby! I ask, he builds.

Speaking of that, I asked for a farm table for outside dining and he’s been diligently working on it all week as a Mother’s Day gift. It needs benches and stain but it’s beautiful already! I love it so much and can’t wait to enjoy meals together under the trees this summer! He’s so talented.

But Mother’s Day always comes with this heart-wrenching sadness for me too. I lost my mom 16 years ago now and, yet, every year it still hits me hard. I have to fight back the tears every Mother’s Day and force myself to just enjoy the day and not think too much about what I don’t have. I miss her so much and I know she’d love all these grandkids to the moon and back! She only ever met Samuel and Isaiah when they were brand new babies. Now, she has thirteen grandkids between my sister and I with number 14 soon to appear! She’d be right in the thick of it all, loving on all these kids, taking them out, gardening with us, reading to them, just being a great grandma. Sometimes life doesn’t really turn out the way you expect.

Yesterday I thought about her and how amazing she was. She was my best friend, my confidante. I could talk with her about anything and she was always willing to listen and chat with me. She was so smart, funny, and sassy – just so fun to be around. Was she perfect? No. Just like the rest of us moms, she made mistakes. But she was humble, said sorry, and hugged me a lot. She was one of those moms who took in all our friends too and made them feel at home. She talked with them and helped them through a lot too. I can’t say enough about how amazing she was!

So as I thought about her, I realized what an amazing legacy she started. She taught my sister and I how to love, about Jesus, and how to be a mom. She began this legacy that I’m sure she never would have thought would extend to 14 grandkids! While I wish she were here, walking out this journey with me, I’m so thankful for the person she was and what she taught me. I still sometimes look back and think, what would my mom do? How would she handle this?

I hope I’m passing on that legacy of love and Jesus as well as she did. I can only hope to be the kind of mom she was. Someday I hope and pray my kids look back and say, look at the legacy mom left us and that is being passed on to our kids. I pray they all know Jesus and how much they are loved by Him and me, just like I knew that from my mom.

What kind of legacy are you leaving your kids? It’s great if they can do chores, their own laundry, write a good paper. But it’s better if they know they are loved and how to love. It’s best if they know Jesus and can see you living your life for Him while you are on this earth. Because we never know how much time we have.

Just a few short weeks ago I sat down in church, ready to worship and learn. There was someone sitting next to me I didn’t recognize, which isn’t uncommon for me.

Nothing different. Nothing unusual.

But then it was time to greet each other. And I felt this nudge. You know the one. The Holy Spirit was nudging me to do more than just say Good Morning. How many times have I ignored that nudge? How many times have I brushed it off as nothing?

I turned to the young man and said hello and asked his name. I asked how long he’d been coming to Rejoice!. (I’ve learned not to say, “are you visiting?” because inevitably I say that to someone who’s gone to church there longer than me!) His answer surprised me. He was there because he’d been once before, months ago, under very different circumstances. And our church had moved him at that point so much, that as soon as he was able he came back.

He had quite the story and past. All I could think was, this guy needs to get connected. He needs a small group and some strong Christian men around him. I introduced him to a couple guys I knew would embrace him. He got plugged in with some awesome people, even spending time with them outside of small group. He even ended up with a new, full-time job with a great employer, who happens to be a Christian, who is ready to invest in his life and encourage him along.

I don’t know what the future holds for this young man. He has a lot to overcome. But I do know that, as a church, we did exactly what God has called the church to do. Wrap our arms around the hurting and lost, speak life into what was once dead, fill people with the truth and with Christ’s love. A motto at our church is,

“1 > 99
Lost people matter to God, and so they matter to us.
We strive to be a church that unchurched people love to attend.
Jesus sends us out, to the ends of the earth, to share the good news of Jesus.”
Luke 15:1-32, Acts 1:8

We believe whole-heartedly in this motto and strive to live it out. Do we fail? Absolutely! Do we ignore the Holy Spirit’s nudge? Yep, we’re all guilty of it.

But when we listen…just stop and listen…and then obey the Holy Spirit, God can accomplish mighty deeds!

Sometimes I just marvel at God’s goodness to people. Only he can orchestrate something like this. Only He can put the right people in the right places at the exact times He needs them. And only He can nudge us to do what’s right even when it’s out of the ordinary. Only He can set people free from the chains of this life!

It’s spring! It’s spring! It’s finally here.

At least, I think it is. I think this year we’re all a little gun shy. And we should be, after numerous snow storms and below average temps. It makes us all think, “Will spring come?”. “Are we doing spring this year?”

Now, I think, we can finally say, it’s not going to get cold enough again to snow. Maybe. Hesitatingly.

I can actually see grass in my yard now, which makes me excited! I made the mistake though of trying to walk across my yard in my tennis shoes. You’d think I’d know by now, after three springs here, that I need mud boots all spring long! But, instead, I got my shoes drenched. And my socks.

I wish I would have snapped a photo of my two year old in the puddles. He was having so much fun jumping in those puddles with his new mud boots. Of course, he was so enthusiastic about it, the water went right over the tops of his boots and soaked his little feet. He didn’t care at all! And when it was time to come in he cried, even though his feet were frozen and he was wet up to his rear!

I remember when my oldest two were little like that. I never let them get all wet and muddy. I didn’t want them jumping in puddles because all I could think about was the mess for me afterwards. That mess is still irritating but I’ve learned that it’s worth the joy it brings those little people. And really, the mess will always be there in one form or another so why not let them have some fun!

As we awaited this spring, thinking “always winter, never Christmas”, I was reminded of this verse in the Bible:

Genesis 8:22 “While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease.”

What is seedtime other than spring? That’s when we plant. So, according to God’s promises that never fail, spring will always come! Will it always come in our timing? No, it won’t. God knows best, even when it comes to the weather.

So, now that it’s spring (I think), get out and enjoy it! Get some sunshine on your face! Get your feet wet and your pants muddy in a puddle! Listen to the birds, find the first flowers and buds on the trees! Enjoy it, because God gave it to you to enjoy!

Yesterday I thought it was a perfect day to hang out some clothes on the line. I love hanging clothes in the summer. Saves money on running the dryer, gets me outside doing something, and the clothes smell so nice. It didn’t exactly go as planned…

I stepped off the last step of the porch and didn’t exactly land on my feet. I ended up twisting my ankle completely sideways, dropped the laundry, and hit the dirt. Literally. I guess I had enough wherewithal to protect my tummy and not land on baby. I don’t actually remember how I fell; I just remember suddenly looking up at blue sky and feeling a horrible, burning pain in my ankle.

Heidi, my five year old, was with me and asked if I was okay. I told her through tears to please get her big brothers to help me up. Of course, all the kids came running to see Mom sprawled in the dirt. (Somehow all the clothes stayed in the basket!)

Samuel and Isaiah came running, heedless of their socks in the mud and lifted me out of it. They were so kind. They grabbed ice, a chair, and arnica right away and then stood by me telling me funny stories to make me laugh. Then those sweet young men carried me to the couch while the rest of the kids hung the laundry.

It didn’t end there. While I sat in pain on the couch, the boys made lunch and got everything cleaned up. Then they got the little one down for a nap and kept checking on me.

Just about everyday, those teenagers drive me to distraction, making me want to pull out my hair and scream. I often wonder what in the world they are thinking and why they are doing what they’re doing. I’m exhausted by the end of the day, mostly because of teens.

I’ve been praying lately that the Lord would help me like them again. Don’t get me wrong, I love them dearly but liking is another story. They usually just exasperate me! Well, apparently I’m not a very good learner and don’t take subtle clues, so the Lord gave me something drastic to remind me of how wonderful these young men really are. While they often leave me clueless with their words and actions, they really have good hearts. And I can forget that and in turn be harsh to them.

Adolescence is hard. Really hard. I don’t need to make it harder on them. I don’t need to be critical and judgmental and frustrated with them, no matter what they say or do. I don’t need to add to the burden of growing up because it’s hard enough on its own.

Even though I have a million things on my to-do list and sitting on the couch isn’t exactly my first choice in how to spend my time, I’m thankful it happened. I’m thankful of the reminder that my kids have learned to be compassionate and loving toward others. I’m thankful that these things are imbedded in their very beings, even if the majority of what they do baffles me! I’m also thankful for the reminder to be careful with my words. So, in the midst of being couch bound, I’m going to see the blessings and be thankful!

I just hope I don’t have to be here too long…

Well, we did it…

A few late nights, a paint booth in the basement, some amateur sewing, and a lot of spray paint fumes.

Thankfully Andrew likes to get in on these projects. While I was busy with the gold fabric paint and gold ribbon for Princess Fiona, Andrew coated the basement in a nice shade of red. It’s amazing how far that spray paint travels!

Of course, as you can see, he had just finished waterproofing the basement so it looked amazing before the Lightning McQueen build session. Guess he’ll have to add another coat!

Here’s our pretty princess. Every year she’s picked something pretty and princess like! It’s funny because getting this girl to wear a dress is like pulling teeth without novocaine!

We found the dress at a thrift store and it was really ugly! But a little gold paint and ribbon and it turned out okay. We found the crown at the dollar store. It was all rainbow colors but a little gold spray painted fixed that right up! Gotta love spray paint!

Except the fumes! Wow! I had to open windows in the house for an hour or two, which hasn’t happened since October! It was cold too!

Here’s my awesome hubby! He looks good even covered in charcoal! Good old Bert from Mary Poppins! He pulled it off well…everyone knew who he was. He just couldn’t get the heel click down, but, well, who can do that like Dick Van Dyke??

But the cake topper, really, was Lightning McQueen! Samuel paid attention to details and he came out beautifully. And…Samuel won most creative! He crawled underneath this thing and crouched down on a creeper…you know the things you slide under a car on…and pushed himself into the church! There was cheering and shock and awe, which I think he enjoyed immensely!

The thing about all this is that I really didn’t want to do it. I didn’t feel like adding one more thing to my plate, running from store to store to find paint, dresses, scarves, hats, ribbon…

It’s not like I don’t have full days already and this just seemed so, well, frivolous.

What I realized, though, in the midst of it, was this was something that brought us all together. Everyone was excited about it and pitched in, even the kitten who pulled Olivia’s dress off the table with wet fabric paint all over it! The kids loved doing these projects, being creative, and doing something out of the ordinary.

All too often, I get caught up in the mundane of life. Dishes, laundry, cook, clean, school, repeat. And then I wonder why my mood is bad and everyone is nagging everyone else. I forget to have a little fun and change it up. I’m so thankful for a hubby who likes fun and projects. He’s so good at getting me out of the mundane, even if I’m kicking and screaming at first!

Having fun doesn’t have to be spendy either. I think I spent a total of $20 for all the stuff for these costumes and the joy and laughter and fun was well worth it!

So, this week, get out of your routine and do something fun, even if it’s just a walk through puddles or putting on silly hats at Target. Have some fun with your kids and see the joy on their faces when you engage with them!

You ever look at Pinterest or even your Facebook feed and think, “Man, that mom is making me look bad. Look at all those crafts! Look at the handmade skirts on her girls! Look at the cute art project she did with her kids.”

Yeah, me too.

I’m not that mom. Well, maybe sometimes. But usually I just don’t want to invest the time (or I don’t have the time), I don’t want to shop at ten different stores to find just the right materials or supplies, I don’t want the mess. I really don’t want the mess.

Well this week, I’m forced into it. (Kicking and screaming, I might add.) I’ve known about this Wednesday for weeks…no months. Yet I’ve just put it on the back burner. Yeah, I’ll get to that. I have a while yet. Why didn’t I listen to my kids when they mentioned it back in December? Why didn’t I just get on it then? But no, here it is, two days away and I’m just starting.

Starting what, you ask? Costumes…Disney Theme Night…Youth Group…

Don’t get me wrong. I love our youth group! I love our leaders and all the effort they put in. I love that my kids love it. I love that they come home with God’s truth stored up in their hearts and minds. I love that they have good friends there. I love that my hubby loves to serve there.

But. I. Hate. Disney. Theme. Night.

It’s my arch-nemesis. And it’s totally not anybody’s fault but my own. Like I said, I knew about this month’s ago. I could have planned ahead. I could have been searching for costumes the day after Halloween when they were all 75% off. Next year (at least I tell myself that).

So, off to the thrift stores and Dollar Tree we go.

You know why else I don’t like it. Because there is always altering involved. And I’m really a very novice seamstress. Like, you can’t even put me and seamstress in the same sentence. So, it all seems like more work than it would be for someone who knew what they were doing.

Well, here it goes…

Princess Fiona, Bert from Mary Poppins, and Lightning McQueen.

Here’s the beginning of something. I can’t say the beginning of something great…we’ll see what happens.

Out comes the sewing machine, the spray paint, the construction paper, and glue.

Here comes the mess!

Wish me luck…cuz I’m cringing right now…

I’ll let you know the outcome…

Image courtesy of hisheavenlyarmies.com

The other day I was thinking, “What in the world am I going to write about? Life seems to be flowing along fairly smoothly, what would I need to share?” Ha! Why would I ever wonder? Something always comes along, something always happens. That’s life, right? And then I think, wow, I bet there are other moms out there going through this very thing. I bet they feel as alone and discouraged as me sometimes. Guess what? You’re not alone. You’ve got this very imperfect mama to walk along with you. I don’t have the answers, but I’ll put my arm around your shoulders and say, “I get it. I’m there too.”

Have you ever in your life recognized a sin that just keeps cropping up and you just can’t seem to shake it? We’ve been having the same trouble with one of our kids since he could speak. And he loves to speak. He has a propensity to lie and it has been there as long as I can remember. They come quick and easy and he’s believable. Sometimes I don’t think he’s doing it to be mean or hurtful, it’s just so easy. Other times I think he just wants to avoid a lecture or consequence. And then there’s times I think it’s methodically thought through, but those are few and far between. Mostly, he just has a gift for words and speech and hasn’t fully learned to use it wisely yet.

The problem is, though, that when he lies it makes me feel like dirt. It makes me feel hurt and as if he doesn’t care one bit about our relationship. It makes me angry and frustrated and sad. It makes me cry. And it makes it really, really hard to trust anything that comes out of his mouth.

Yesterday evening I discovered something he had lied straight to my face about. I was so furious I couldn’t do anything but stomp around the house and cry. I wanted to scream! We’d just been through this a couple weeks ago. I thought the talks then had sunk in, but no, here we were all over again! He was lucky he wasn’t around at the time. I know full well had he been home anger and hate and cruel words would have issued forth from my mouth unchecked and then I would have had things to regret too.

But I had a few hours to think, pray, and cool off a bit. I also asked some close friends to pray, because I had no idea how to even deal with it.

When he got home we talked late into the night and I came to this realization. This child has been given some very powerful and unique gifts from the Lord. I know I wouldn’t have come to that conclusion in the midst of anger. I needed time to see it. This kid genuinely loves people, all people. He loves to be with people, he loves to joke and talk and socialize with others. And he has a gift for words and speech. And maybe most powerful of all, he has the ability to influence others very easily.

God is so good to reveal gifts in the midst of hardship! All too often, I look at the negative. But because God ordained my evening to go the way it did, giving me time to think and calm down, I saw things I wouldn’t have seen otherwise. I saw the good in my child. I saw the gifts God gave him to use for His kingdom. And I shared that with my child.

I told him, “I don’t know God’s plan for you and your future, but with the gifts he’s given you, it’s something big. He’s got huge plans for you in His kingdom work. We may not know it yet but He’ll reveal it in His time. For now you have to realize that God knows those plans and that’s why he gave you the gifts He did. The problem is Satan sees those gifts too and he’ll do whatever he can to stop you from living for God. There is a massive war waging right now for your heart and your future. And every time you lie, you let Satan have a little more of the battle.”

Don’t think we didn’t talk through the lying and consequences too. Oh, that happened. Rest assured. But ending our conversation focused on the fact that God has a plan for him changed his perspective and mine.

Remember, there is a war waged for your children’s hearts and futures. Each of your children was placed in your family very purposefully. Each of them was given gifts that need to be honed and trained so they are used for His glory and not theirs. Each of them has a purpose on this earth.

Fight the war.

Go to battle for your children.

Teach them how to battle.

Don’t let Satan have their hearts.

Ephesians 6: 10-13

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.