desiredhavenfarm

Remember the Shepherds

It’s Christmas! Merry merry Christmas to all our family and friends!

We’ve had three days of celebrating and have loved every minute of it. My favorite was yesterday when Andrew and I and our kids were together for the whole day. We worshipped at church where our beautiful daughter-in-law sang, ate good food, opened gifts, read the Christmas story, ate lots of candy, opened books and spent time reading, played games, and just enjoyed one another’s company.

As we ponder the Christmas story this year, our pastor focused a bit on the shepherds. What I love about the Bible is that every single line, every event, every person is significant. And if you understand the depth and significance and weight each thing carries, it just magnifies the truth of it all.

Why shepherds? Why were they the first to be told of the Savior’s birth? Why not the priests? The elite? The rich? Why the shepherds?

Did you know it matters?

The shepherds were considered the lowliest of lows. They were known as the unforgivables because it was generally believed they stole from their neighbors by letting their sheep graze in other’s property and then not paying it back. They weren’t allowed in the temple to worship because of this. No one considered them to even be thought of by God.

But God. He sent his angel to tell the shepherds first that He’d sent His Son to earth. And the message was so important.

“Do not be afraid! I bring you good news of great joy for ALL people.”

Not only did God send His angel to the shepherds but He gave them a message that was sure to directly include them. This is for ALL people. Even you. The lowliest of lows.

Isn’t God great?

Remember the shepherds this Christmas if you’re feeling less than perfect. Maybe you’ve looked at too many Instagram posts of matching jammies and picture perfect decorating. Maybe you hardly had any money because you’re a first time single mama and had to thrift shop for your kids. Maybe you’re all sick in the couch and missing the festivities. Or you’re desperately missing a loved one and having a hard time enjoying the season.

Remember the shepherds.

God included them. He didn’t just include them, he put those who were last in society first. He told them first, He sent them to His son first, and He gave them the important job of telling everyone else.

God didn’t think the shepherds were unworthy. He loved them so much He sent His only son to them to save them.

And God met the shepherds right where they were, dirty, alone, cold, with no friends but each other and their flocks. God didn’t care that their tunics were dirty or their sheep had grazed in the wrong area. It didn’t bother God that no one else gave them the time of day.

Guess what? God doesn’t care if your house is Pinterest worthy. It doesn’t matter to Him if you have a three day old sweatshirt on with baby spit-up on the shoulder. He’s happy to come into your home even if the wrapping paper is still all over the floor (here) or your kids have only eaten candy for three days (yep) or your tired and sad and lonely.

None only does it not matter to Him, he WANTS to come in. He wants to give you the good news of great joy.

It’s for you.

All you have to do is believe it.

Dolls and Dreams

One of my most vivid Christmas memories is of the Christmas when I was 13. My mom thought my sister and I were collecting dolls so she put a small doll in each of our stockings. That Christmas morning we got up, excited to see what was in our stocking and I remember pulling that doll out, starting at it, and crying. I cried because it was the last thing I wanted. Them I cried because I made my mom feel bad. I kept that doll for a long time and actually really cherished it.

I think I came to realize how my mom had tried really hard to know what my sister and I were into. The thought really does count.

I’ve learned over the years that my top love language is gifts. I love to give others presents and really think about what they’d like and use. I love getting gifts too, but my real joy comes in giving them.

There’s another side of me though. I really dislike clutter and stuff in my house. And with 12 people living here, well, stuff accumulates faster than baby rabbits.

Something we’ve started doing is paying for a condo at the Dells for a few days as our gift to our kids. It’s an amazing way to spend time with them, give them something special, and not accumulate more than memories. I hope and pray this tradition can continue for years!

This Christmas the best gift I have received was my son coming home from the Marines and all my family being together under one roof. I wouldn’t need anything else this Christmas. My heart is full!

All my kids (and grandkid) in one place ❤

As I thought about how happy it makes me to have all my kids home, it got me thinking about the future. Someday more of my kids will move out and some will likely marry and have children. They will have their own lives which is awesome and wonderful and what we raise them to do.

But, I’ll always want them to want to come home. So that got me pondering what makes them want to come home. Social media will push perfect, Parade of Homes worthy houses, perfect decorating and flawless food.

Don’t fall for that and get stressed! It’s not true!

Here’s what it takes to have them want to come home: relationship. Always put your relationship with your kids before activities, events, work, projects, decorating, even cooking. Make it a priority to listen to your kids and be interested in what they like. Encourage them in their dreams and be excited as they pursue them!

I think the worst thing I could do is be judgemental of their dreams or cry over their wanting to launch.

Of course, I think there are a few simple homemaking things that help people feel comfortable in your home. I’ll share those next time. But those should never outweigh desiring a good relationship with your kids!

Mmm, mmm, bread!

One of the things I have become passionate about over the years is feeding my family good food. Not just food that tastes good, but food that is nourishing, wholesome, full of healthy ingredients.

I saw a quote not too long ago that said, “The problem is that we aren’t eating food anymore, we’re eating food-like products.” This is all too true. The boxed, bagged, and shelf stable items in the grocery store aren’t really food. When you can’t pronounce most of the ingredients, it isn’t food. When it says “bio-engineered”, “GMO”, “natural”, it’s far from natural. Now there’s a growing trend to find “more sustainable proteins” meaning growing things in a lab and processing crickets into flour. This isn’t food.

Did you know the majority of illnesses today are a direct result of things we put into our bodies? This doesn’t just include food. It includes chemicals and toxins in shots, water, cleaning products, fragrances, and more. I could probably write a 1,000 page book on the detriments of all these things, and frankly, it would just be a really discouraging book. For now, let’s focus on food.

We all love food. We love to eat. We love to gather around food. We love to try new foods when we travel. And God created us to need food. So it is a good thing.

Now, don’t panic and trash everything in your kitchen. It’s taken us years to get where we are. We’re still not 100% organic in our house. It’s not something you can switch overnight. But every year, I pick one or two things that need to be “cleaned up” in our diet and work on that. I started gardening years ago so we could eat clean vegetables, not sprayed with harsh chemicals. Then for a couple years we focused on knowing how and where our meat was raised. Since moving to the country that’s become even easier because we can raise it right on our property.

Another year it was laundry detergent. Another, it was cleaning products around the house. It’s a slow and gradual change but it’s a purposeful one. I want my family to be as healthy as we can be and I’ve seen vast improvements as we’ve changed our food to real food.

Lately it’s been bread. I used to make my own bread for a while and then it fell by the wayside. I can’t even remember why. But I’ve wanted to start baking my own again and have found a fast, sustainable recipe. It’s so easy and so yummy!

You just mix all the ingredients together in a food safe container with a lid, stick it in the fridge for at least 24 hours (but it can stay there for fourteen days), and then whenever you want a loaf of bread you just pull off a chunk, form a loaf, and bake! The best part – no kneading!

With 12 people in the house plus many coming and going, I don’t have time for lots of steps. I never remember to feed a sour dough starter and I don’t want to knead for 5 to 10 minutes. This is doable! And it tastes amazing.

Another great thing about this recipe is when you mix a new batch in your container, you don’t wash it out. This way you get a sourdough like bread because it slowly ferments in the fridge and the residue from the previous batch helps the next batch ferment. It’s pretty much amazing.

If I can do it, you can do it! (Recipe posted on my new “Recipes for Busy Moms” page! https://desiredhavenfarm.com/busy-mom-recipes/ Here)

Focus

It’s the end of 2023. Can you believe it? The days seem to be racing by all too quickly. I’m trying to savor December and the Christmas season this year by just being present and enjoying how my kids wonder at the lights, presents, music, and cookies. I’ve been silent on my blog for a bit as I have been processing and praying over my writing.

I feel like I’ve finally narrowed my vision and goal for my writing, which I think every writer needs to do. It’s not easy. I think one of my hesitations in narrowing my focus is leaving people out and not relating to others. But realistically, no matter what, I won’t meet everyone where they are at and won’t relate to all.

As I’ve prayed over it, my focus has narrowed to what I’m passionate about. Serving my family in the mission field where God has placed me – my home and encouraging other mamas who are there as well. Teaching my kids at home and supporting those who have made that decision. Living as sustainable a life as we can by growing, raising, and making things from and on our property.

It may seem like it’s not much different than before. And maybe it’s not. It’s just clearer in my mind now and I’m excited for it! Everyone is always welcome to come, read, think, engage, and contact me, whether you live this way or not! Maybe you’re wondering and dreaming of this life. Well, hopefully I can encourage you on!

Welcome. Or maybe I should say, welcome back! Let’s journey together!

While we’re on the subject of focusing our efforts, how are you focusing this Christmas season? Are you stopping? Are you breathing? Are you sitting still in the dark by your tree with lights on? I hope so!

We often think of Christmas as the time when a sweet baby was born, angels sang, shepherds stared in awe, and wise men brought presents. This year I’ve been thinking a lot about why. He came not to be a sweet baby, not to melt our hearts with his cuteness, not to receive gifts.

He came to be ridiculed for his ideas and teachings. He came to be tortured at the hands of the most experienced torturers. He came to be betrayed, forgotten, left, spit on, sneered at. And he came to die the worst death the Romans had ever invented, one saved for the worst of the worst.

He also came to overcome. Not necessarily earthly obstacles, but heavenly ones. He came to give you and me the opportunity to be in Paradise with him.

There’s focus for you! An unyielding spirit and focus no matter the consequences! Jesus never wavered. For you. For me. Because he loves us that much. His love was so great, his focus was set and secure. That’s focus!

Crispy, Crunchy, Carrots

Crispy, crunchy carrots. One of our favorite treats right out of the garden. My kids asked all summer long if they could dig a carrot while we worked and I always told them yes! Why not enjoy it fresh and teach them a love of healthy foods. They learned how to carefully dig them up and rinse them. Then you could hear them crunching and chomping all over the garden. Next year we need to at least double our carrots!

Eventually they all come out of the garden and then what? We all want to keep enjoying those carrots.

Well, some get eaten fresh, obviously. I’ve canned and frozen them which is fine. But what happens when in January you get that hankering for a crisp, crunchy carrot? Don’t tell me to go to Aldi and grab some baby carrots. It’s just not the same! Even the organic carrots don’t taste even remotely like the fresh ones from our own land.

Purple Dragon carrots…they have a beautiful purple exterior and bright orange interior.

I’ve discovered over the years that you can preserve them just as they are! I get an inexpensive plastic tote and some inexpensive tube sand and start layering. Sand, carrots, sand, carrots, all the way to the top! Other than digging them straight out of the garden, my kid’s favorite thing to do is dig in the tub of sand and pull out a fresh carrot! Just rinse them off and they’re perfect.

My helper! He loved layering the carrots and was so careful!

Eventually, come February or March they start to get a little soft. Then I pull them all out and freeze or can them to throw them in soups and hot dishes for the rest of winter. Nothing goes to waste!

And next summer, carrot seeds are going into the ground much earlier so hopefully we can enjoy them earlier too!

Someone asked me recently, did you grow up gardening and canning and preserving? Nope. I’ve just decided that each year I’m going to learn something new when it comes to homesteading and becoming self-sufficient. And God has been faithful to put very knowledgeable people, who I can learn, from in my path.

When we moved to this property, one of my top priorities was to give my kids a place to run and be free to be themselves. I still love and cherish that priority. But the Lord laid a new one on my heart since we’ve moved here: to be self sufficient in healthy ways. With as tumultuous as this world is, with food chains being sabotaged, with prices increasing across the board, with unrest, the Lord is still good. And He’s given us this haven that we so desired and has blessed it beyond our wildest dreams. As I lay up food for the winter I can’t help but think of Ma Ingalls and smile. The first settlers did it! And their lives were much more rough without plumbing, electricity, and heat! God is providing for us each and every day in multiple ways, one of which is crispy, crunchy carrots!

First Day of School!

It’s that time of year again. There’s a cool crispness in the morning air, the plants are finishing their jobs, the days are getting shorter, and the sweatshirts have been pulled out of the closet. And, everyone is going back to school. About a month ago I saw dozens and dozens of back-to-school photos from friends, public and homeschool alike. Smiling faces, holding signs and backpacks.

I didn’t post anything at that time because we weren’t starting school. We were deep in garden chores and canning and there was no time for school books. But, I know my kids were learning a lot! Even the two year old can identify numerous plants and bugs. Just yesterday, she pointed out a cricket and one of her brothers tried to tell her it was a grasshopper. She was right, it was a cricket. She’s also very proficient at finding the tomato plants to grab herself a snack.

I decided this year the garden needed to be put to bed before school started. Last year we attempted to do both and it was so stressful. We’ve worked diligently all of September, slowly ripping plants out of the garden and feeding them to the goats, who are bulking up quite nicely for winter off their feast.

Yesterday, we pulled out our next season’s routine and it was great! The kids were ready to start, I was ready to start, and everyone had fun and learned something new. We even added a news subscription called World Watch News this year. It’s a great way to get the news in without all the propaganda, biased opinions, and slants we find these days. And, it’s kid friendly!

First day! Olivia is my teacher’s helper this year! She loves working with the little ones.

Starting school got me thinking about what I do to help me feel successful in our school routine. There’s a few things over the past years that I’ve developed into routine that have helped immensely. I thought I’d share them with you.

First, I almost always find a two to three day stretch to get away with a couple friends to do some uninterrupted planning. I look forward to this time every summer. It’s really hard to squeeze it in with the garden and all the projects we try to accomplish but it’s so important. I’ve had summers where I haven’t been able to go and it really puts stress on me throughout the rest of the season because I have to then squish my planning into tiny segments, an afternoon here, an evening there.

Always make sure you have a pretty planner and lots of colored pens!

This past summer, like usual, four of us went to a friend’s lake cabin. The setting is beautiful, the cabin comfortable, and the company perfect. If you want to plan a planning weekend, please know the people you choose to go with you are so important. You need people who can be quiet for long stretches of time, who can dig into their own planning or projects without your constant advice, people who are comfortable and secure in their own skin so when they see you doing something different from them they don’t freak out. Choose friends who know how to laugh and be silly too, because you need those moments where you go on a field trip to the local dairy and pick out the weirdest cheese you can find and then go back and all try it together, only to find yourself gagging and rolling on the floor laughing because your friend is running for the garbage.

~The only photo I have from our weekend away. We definitely took breaks to play games and have fun~

I try to set aside time the rest of the summer to finish up my planning and ordering as well. Those times are usually short little moments. Most of the time I have to get up early to get it done when the house is still quiet. That was much harder this past summer because of our sweet little baby. I call babies speed bumps. They disrupt the flow of my routine and things are off for a while. And that’s okay! I know it’s a season and I’ll get back to my early mornings eventually.

About a month ago, I did something I haven’t done before and I’ll definitely be doing it again! I felt a nudge from the Lord to plan a half day retreat for homeschool moms. I had been praying about feeling so overwhelmed this last summer and He prompted me to do this. I thought, well that’s strange, Lord. I’m telling you I feel overwhelmed because of all the things I need to do and you’re telling me to add something else to my schedule. Well, okay. I ran it past a good friend and she thought it sounded wonderful so I put it out there. I asked the Lord to bring the ladies He wanted there and He did!

It was so cool, because as I was praying about it and put it out to our homeschool group, I had seven names in mind. Those seven ladies were the ones who responded! It was a reminder from the Lord that He hears and knows and has perfect plans.

It was the most refreshing morning. We had a great time in God’s Word and chatting about homeschooling and motherhood. It was full of encouragement, rejuvenation for the soul, and uplifting stories. I think we all walked away filled up and not just from the yummy lunch! I know I walked away with a changed perspective and the overwhelming feelings had greatly diminished. God is good!

Homeschooling isn’t easy, but neither are other school choices for our kids. I’m so thankful I get to homeschool and I’m so thankful I can do the things that help me feel successful, even if it’s just presetting the coffeepot the night before!

Birthday Blessings

They say when you get older birthdays aren’t as big of a deal and are just another day. I always think anything is what you make it. And I love birthdays!

This year was a special one for me. 44. Most people celebrate 40, 50, 60… but for me this one meant a lot.

Last year when I turned 43 I told Andrew, “if I go a bit crazy this year just bear with me. I’ll try not to but it’s going to be a hard year.”

You see, my mom died just before her 44th birthday, just 11 days before. It was way too young and when I hit 43 I really felt how crazy young she was when she died. I just wanted to make it to my 44th birthday. It was a big goal for me. I know, you can’t really decide how long you get to live; God has our days ordained. But I was going to do what I could to get here. It felt like a big accomplishment to live longer than she had.

She would only be 65 this year which still isn’t very old. I know she’d love all these grandkids and the garden!

I made a big day of celebrating! So big in fact we only took 2 pictures! That made me laugh. They aren’t great pictures either!

A basket I liked while shopping 🤣

First I had to be an adult and pick up my hog from the butcher and get it in the freezer.

I went shopping with a couple besties. We hit up Hobby Lobby and HomeGoods. Then we had Chipotle for lunch – Yum!

My friend blessed me with a great gift and then in the evening the whole family minus my buddy Isaiah were here and had dinner with more gifts and rootbeer floats.

It was truly a great day and I am beyond blessed with family and friends. God may have taken my mom and there will always be a hole in my heart, but He has abundantly filled my life with amazing people. I couldn’t ask for a better husband, kids, daughter-in-law, grandson, and friends!

Thank you, Jesus for another year!

Superpowers!

Lately my three little boys have been intensely interested in super powers. They ask everyday, “if you could have any superpower, which superpower would you want?” And we all have to answer and tell why.

Last night at bedtime they asked me again. I said I think I’d want super speed because I could get lots of things done in a small amount of time. One answered, “I thought you’d want to be able to snap your fingers and the house would be clean.”

“Hmm, I think that would be a pretty good superpower too! I’d take that.”

Then another said, “I thought maybe you’d want to be able to snap your fingers and make everyone listen to you.”

Haha! I thought that was a good one and I laughed, but then I started to think about it more. What that really is, is control. And often as a parent I want control. Control of their behavior, their words and tone, even their thoughts.

But it’s not even realistic and even when we think we have control, we really don’t. We cannot control another person’s behavior, thoughts, or even whether they respect us or not. Often there can be a false facade of control. It can look like we’ve achieved control and, maybe, for a little while we might even actually have control of our kids. But it isn’t lasting or healthy.

I’ve been pondering this for some time. In fact, since a friend pointed it out a few months ago. We were talking about a difficult situation she had been in with another family. They were allowing their child to hurt her child and she had told them finally that they couldn’t spend time together anymore unless it stopped.

I said something to the effect of “why can’t they control their child?”

And she said something that really caused me to think.

“Well, no one can truly control their children. We can cause there to be something unpleasant when they act in a certain way and hope that gives them the desire to change their behavior, but we can’t truly control them.”

And I thought that was so wise. I’ve been thinking about it ever since. Then the superpower conversation made it surface again. I think it’s something I’ve been thinking about so much because I like control. I like to have order and have my children behave a certain way. And then I believe I have control.

But I don’t, not really.

Then I started thinking about how God parents us. He doesn’t control us, ever. He gives us the freewill to make good and bad choices whenever we want. He doesn’t force us down a certain path or to say yes, dad, even.

He does, however allow good and bad consequences to follow our choices. I know He wants us to listen to Him, but He won’t snap his fingers and force us.

So, why do we turn to Him and listen?

Because of His great love for us. It’s that simple. He loves us so much that He sent His only Son to die for us. He loves us more than we can truly comprehend and so our hearts turn to Him in obedience.

Do we show our kids that much love? Or do we quickly want behavior change so we can go on with our day?

Often Dottie will come up to me and say, “I want you.” She wants to be snuggled a bit.

So, every time, regardless of what I’m doing I say, “I want you too” and I pick her up for a few minutes. It’s just one small way I can show her I love her so much. She’s spunky and has her own ideas of how things should go. She’s fiercely independent. But I’m hopeful that my love will help direct that to someday glorify God.

Because, if I’ve learned anything over the last 22 years, it’s that I cannot control these kids! I can just keep redirecting them back to the Lord and His great love for them.

25!

“Well, hon, we made it.”

“Yep! We did it!”

This was our conversation yesterday morning concerning our anniversary. We made it to 25 years! It seems like a huge milestone, and one we’re proud of. There were those who didn’t think we’d make it since we got married so young. But, here we are. And we still love each other, probably more now than 25 years ago.

We obviously aren’t very good at celebrating though. We laid mulch around our garden to push back weeds, we tended to the kids. Andrew ended up with a massive headache from the sun and took a nap while I went swimming with the kids. Then a storm with hail blew through! Thankfully our garden was spared!

I’d say the day ended better than it began though. We got to bless some dear friends by bringing two of their kids to the hospital to visit their sister, went to dinner at a really yummy restaurant and came home to crash in bed. Don’t worry, we plan on having a big party in the fall when the garden is finished!

As I thought about our day, I was partly saddened that we hadn’t done a better job planning something fun and exciting. But I was reminded how precious and amazing our relationship is and that one day of celebrating is not as important as daily celebrations.

Here’s a couple stories that give a peek into that.

About two months ago, I was scheduled to get a haircut with my daughter, Olivia. A few days before the haircuts, Olivia said, “I can’t wait to get my hair chopped off!”

I replied, “Me too!”

Andrew groaned.

“What?” I asked.

“Well, I like you hair long,” he smiled. We’ve had this conversation for the last 25 years.

“I’ll make you a deal. You get rid of half your t-shirts and I’ll grow my hair out.” We’ve also had this conversation for the last 25 years. He has more t-shirts in his drawers than anyone I know! I also knew this was a sure fire way to not have to grow my hair out.

The night before my haircut Andrew came home from work and went upstairs to change, as he always does. But then I noticed he was gone an awfully long time. Probably 20 minutes went by before he came down the stairs. By now, you’ve guessed it. He had a huge mound of shirts he was bringing down. I mean huge!

I just started laughing and laughing! The kids and Steph were like, what? What in the world is so funny?!

Andrew was grinning from ear to ear and I couldn’t stop laughing.

“That’s all it took?!” I asked between chuckles.

“That’s all it took?! He replied. We still laugh at it and, well, my hair is getting longer and longer. HAHAHA!

Two nights ago, Andrew came onto the porch and said he had a gift for me for our anniversary. The kids had all followed him and he had his goofy grin on his face. I knew something was up.

He said, “I know we said we wanted to go to Hawaii for our anniversary, but since we can’t this year, I got you this.”

I opened the bag and there was the Hawaii expansion of Catan!

I busted out laughing! We had planned to go to Hawaii for our 15 year anniversary but then we had Madelyn and Evelyn. So we said, ok, for our 20th. Then we had David. Ok, but for real this time – for our 25th. Then this year we had Eloise.

“Thank you, but this is a really lame exchange for a trip to Hawaii,” I laughed.

“But it’s in second place?” Andrew smirked.

“A distant second,” I replied. We laughed and laughed.

Something I’m slowly learning in this 25th year with the great man is to laugh. I have always been the serious parent and the serious partner. He loves to goof around and tell horrible jokes. And usually I roll my eyes and maybe chuckle a bit but really I suppress my laugh. I guess I think I better stay serious so we get things done or order remains or something. I don’t even know!

But lately I’ve just decided to let it go and laugh with him.

Like Sunday morning when I was sitting at the dining table and called Andrew in from the kitchen.

“So, August 26th is a Saturday,” I started.

“Ok, sounds good,” Andrew replied as he turned and walked back in the kitchen. He started laughing so hard he could hardly breathe. And you know what? It was funny. So I started to laugh too and we had a great belly laugh session together.

I wish I’d learned this sooner in our marriage, but I’ll give it all I’ve got now. I’m going to enjoy these silly moments with this wonderful man, because it’s a really easy way to show him how much I love him and how thankful I am to God for bringing us together and keeping us together all these years.

Aww, look at those kids!

Diligence Pays Off

I’m out in the garden today, working hard at keeping plants thriving. What does that look like? Well, for the potatoes it means checking every other day for potato bugs. I squat or kneel next to each plant and carefully check the leaves for bugs, picking them off and dropping them in soapy water when I find them. Then I check the underside of the leaves for eggs and pick those leaves off. Is this fun? Do I love doing it so much and that’s why I’m out there every other day?

Absolutely not! For one, I despise bugs, be they friend or foe. They’re just gross to me. And potato bugs are exceptionally gross to me. They come in all sizes from teeny tiny to downright disturbing. And they’re ugly and squishy. Believe me, gloves are necessary.

So, then, why do it?

If I don’t, I know what the consequences will be. I can’t possibly catch all the bugs and eggs in one shot! The complete loss of all my potatoes. Maybe you’re saying, who cares, just buy some potatoes at the store!

If you’ve ever had fresh garden potatoes, you know. Store potatoes honestly taste awful in comparison.

Being diligent in the garden reaps great rewards. There’s no way I could just go pick potato bugs once and expect a great return on my efforts. There’s no way I could just choose to turn a blind eye and expect a harvest that will last all winter. I’d get nothing. And the potato bugs would get everything.

It’s the same when it comes to our children.

We can’t correct our children once and expect a great return. If we wait until the behavior is annoying us and react, we’re not going to see good results and if we turn a blind eye we certainly won’t reap a great harvest. Being diligent with correction and training takes daily effort and time. It takes going into the garden of our child’s heart and lovingly and repeatedly picking out the bugs of sin. If we pick it out once and think we’re done, we’re bound to miss some and allow our child’s heart to be overrun by sin.

Turning a blind eye can look like a couple of things. It can be that we make excuses for our child’s behavior and sin. “Oh, he’s just tired today, that’s why he’s acting this way.” “My kid is really a good kid, this isn’t the way he normally acts.” “She does a lot of good things and is usually a great kid so I don’t have to worry.” It can be that we compare and look at how other kids act and think, well my kid isn’t that bad at least. And it can be that we just don’t see the behavior as sin that’s rooted in their heart.

So, how do we overcome this? Diligence.

I have to choose to enter that garden daily. I have to make time for my kids and believe that they are my priority. My house, my garden, our activities, church, all those things have to take a back seat to my children. They are my most important work each day. It means I have to set my phone down too and pay attention. It means I have to be present with my kids. And it means I have to take responsibility everyday for their hearts and minds.

I can’t just do it once. I can’t just do it once a week. It needs to be repeated and consistent.

I need to be diligent.

Not only do I need to be diligent, I need to be in prayer. But that’s a story for another day.