Superpowers!

Lately my three little boys have been intensely interested in super powers. They ask everyday, “if you could have any superpower, which superpower would you want?” And we all have to answer and tell why.

Last night at bedtime they asked me again. I said I think I’d want super speed because I could get lots of things done in a small amount of time. One answered, “I thought you’d want to be able to snap your fingers and the house would be clean.”

“Hmm, I think that would be a pretty good superpower too! I’d take that.”

Then another said, “I thought maybe you’d want to be able to snap your fingers and make everyone listen to you.”

Haha! I thought that was a good one and I laughed, but then I started to think about it more. What that really is, is control. And often as a parent I want control. Control of their behavior, their words and tone, even their thoughts.

But it’s not even realistic and even when we think we have control, we really don’t. We cannot control another person’s behavior, thoughts, or even whether they respect us or not. Often there can be a false facade of control. It can look like we’ve achieved control and, maybe, for a little while we might even actually have control of our kids. But it isn’t lasting or healthy.

I’ve been pondering this for some time. In fact, since a friend pointed it out a few months ago. We were talking about a difficult situation she had been in with another family. They were allowing their child to hurt her child and she had told them finally that they couldn’t spend time together anymore unless it stopped.

I said something to the effect of “why can’t they control their child?”

And she said something that really caused me to think.

“Well, no one can truly control their children. We can cause there to be something unpleasant when they act in a certain way and hope that gives them the desire to change their behavior, but we can’t truly control them.”

And I thought that was so wise. I’ve been thinking about it ever since. Then the superpower conversation made it surface again. I think it’s something I’ve been thinking about so much because I like control. I like to have order and have my children behave a certain way. And then I believe I have control.

But I don’t, not really.

Then I started thinking about how God parents us. He doesn’t control us, ever. He gives us the freewill to make good and bad choices whenever we want. He doesn’t force us down a certain path or to say yes, dad, even.

He does, however allow good and bad consequences to follow our choices. I know He wants us to listen to Him, but He won’t snap his fingers and force us.

So, why do we turn to Him and listen?

Because of His great love for us. It’s that simple. He loves us so much that He sent His only Son to die for us. He loves us more than we can truly comprehend and so our hearts turn to Him in obedience.

Do we show our kids that much love? Or do we quickly want behavior change so we can go on with our day?

Often Dottie will come up to me and say, “I want you.” She wants to be snuggled a bit.

So, every time, regardless of what I’m doing I say, “I want you too” and I pick her up for a few minutes. It’s just one small way I can show her I love her so much. She’s spunky and has her own ideas of how things should go. She’s fiercely independent. But I’m hopeful that my love will help direct that to someday glorify God.

Because, if I’ve learned anything over the last 22 years, it’s that I cannot control these kids! I can just keep redirecting them back to the Lord and His great love for them.