Author: desiredhavenfarm

Do you ever have something all planned out? I mean down to the last detail, you know how something should go?

I do this all the time. I am a master planner. And usually nothing goes as I plan it! I used to get really upset about that, and sometimes I still do, but I’ve learned more and more to roll with it and trust God that he knows best.

But…I still fall into the trap of thinking I know best. All too often I find myself having thought it all through, down to the minutest detail, only to find nothing is as I thought it should be.

Here’s my most recent escapade down the “Control-freak road”.

Just a short while ago, I was eagerly awaiting the birth of a petite girl. I knew I was having a girl, I knew she was going to be a small baby and therefore an easy birth. I knew my labor would be short and the delivery peaceful and easy. I knew she would come early in August to accommodate my schedule. I knew she wouldn’t come in the middle of the night. I also knew her name and why I was naming her that. My kids were eager to meet their sister; they were sure it was a girl too. Probably because Mom was so sure. I also knew recovery would be quick and I’d feel great right after delivery. It would all be no big deal. I knew. I just knew. Because that’s how I had planned it all in my head, so that’s how it should go!

Well, as some of you know, that’s not what happened. That’s not even close to what happened. Reality was about as far from my plans as possible!

As early August came and went it found me impatiently waiting for my baby to come. I was so sure I’d have a little one to hold by the 10th or so that I became crabby and frustrated. I tried everything to get that little girl out. Walking, spicy food, pineapple, you name it. Nothing worked. I finally resigned myself to the fact that the baby would come when she was good and ready. Still, I was impatient.

Then, on August 12th, when my water started leaking I thought, Oh Good! Here we go! Finally! Then, as night after night I was awake with contractions only to have them stop every morning, I became more frustrated. I just wanted to be done with pregnancy! I wanted to meet my little one, but mostly, to be honest, I just wanted it to be over with.

Five nights later, my contractions finally got more regular and I thought, this is it! I called my midwife in the middle of the night to come and then by morning, everything stopped again! I felt so bad to have awoken my midwife and doula only to send them home again…and still no baby! I figured though, that since the contractions had gotten really regular and close that the baby would have to come that day. I shipped all my kids off, telling them they’d have a new baby sister by the end of the day. Once again, my plans…

Well, three days later there was still no baby. By then I was so sick of it all. Contractions had been on and off and on and off…I was tired, crabby, and just wanted to crawl under my covers and stay there!

Thankfully my awesome midwife and doula, who also happen to be great friends of mine, came over and got things going. It was time for that little baby to come out!

It still took hours. Contractions were still irregular for a long time. Labor was still iffy, in my mind. Would it actually happen? Finally??

I ended up going to bed that night thinking, once again, that contractions had stopped. Thankfully, about fifteen minutes after lying down things got serious. Finally!

It was still another three hours after that, with lots and lots of pushing. I really thought that baby was never going to come out. And because I was so sure it was a little girl, I was pushing in a position that had worked to have Heidi. I told my midwife I didn’t think I was making any progress and then it was like a revelation from heaven. This thought came to me, “This is a big baby”. I’d had David and Jacob, both of whom were big babies and I just knew in that moment I was about to have to push out another big baby.

By the time baby finally came I was exhausted, hurting from head to toe, and feeling pretty miserable. I don’t even remember feeling relief that it was over, just utter exhaustion and pain. I’m sure everyone in the room felt the same way, after that excursion.

I held my chunky baby and cried and cried and shook. When I finally calmed down, I lifted the little leg to be utterly shocked and surprised.

“It’s a boy!” I confusedly said.

“A boy??” Andrew repeated.

“A boy??” my midwife and doula repeated.

We were all completely taken aback by the fact that it was a boy! I was so sure it was going to be a girl; we all were. At that moment Andrew said, “Now we have to come up with a boy’s name.”

We had been so sure it was a girl that we only had a girl’s name picked out. We had tossed around a couple boy’s names here and there but nothing had stuck and we never discussed it too much because we just knew it was a girl! I didn’t even have the energy to think of any names at that point. I just wanted to go to bed.

And to bed we went. We slept hard for a while. That afternoon Andrew came into our room and said, “Well, we should probably name him, huh?!”

That’s when we came up with Lukas. It took another hour or so to come up with a middle name. Andrew wanted Gerald, after his grandfather. It sounded great to me. I was still too tired to think of much of anything other than Advil, water, and sleep.

Later I looked up the meanings of Lukas Gerald and realized that God had given us such a perfect name for our little guy. His entrance into this world, and even the fact that he was a boy, was nothing like I’d planned. I asked God for all sorts of things during that pregnancy and it all happened the way God ordained, not me. Even his name was something God had planned, not me. And God gave him the perfect name.

Lukas means “Bringer of Light” and Gerald means “A force to be reckoned with, a spear”. Our little Lukas is a “Force of Light to be reckoned with”. He was created, formed, and brought into this world by the greatest Force of Light there is, our Heavenly Creator, and already God has a purpose for this boy. My plans may have seemed right and good and true, but God’s plans are better, always. There is no doubt in my mind that Lukas Gerald fits perfectly into our family and perfectly into God’s plans. There is no plan of mine that would ever be as good as what God brought about for us. Our little force of light already shines brightly in our family and I know he’ll be a kingdom warrior for our Good Father!

Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. 

Once upon a time there was this girl. She was spunky but shy, maybe a little pretty, and young.

Once upon a time there was this boy. He was tall, dark and handsome, and ever so nice.

Once upon a time their paths crossed…and the rest is history!

Twenty-fours years ago I met the man of my dreams. I was 14. He was 17. I thought he was cute the minute I saw him and told my friend. She, of course, being the good friend she was, yelled it from one side of a house to the other to let him know. “Hey Andy! Sarah thinks you’re cute!”

“THANK YOU!” He yelled back. I was so embarrassed I hid the rest of the evening. But since she was my best friend and her brother was Andy’s best friend, our paths crossed continually. We had a large group of friends of all ages that we hung out with all the time and Andy and I were both a part of that group.

I never stopped liking him. Even when he went off to college and I was still in 10th grade. I still thought about him and made excuses to see him when he was back in town. It didn’t take long and we were dating, counting down the days until I was old enough to get married.

He proposed to me for my 18th birthday, in the rain, as we were getting eaten by mosquitoes.

And at 18 and 22 we got married. So many told us we were too young. So many said it wouldn’t last. “Give it a year,” they said. Boy, did I want to show them wrong!

Fast forward twenty years…twenty! I don’t feel old enough to even say I’ve known someone for twenty years much less have been married that long. But somehow, time keeps flying by, making us a little older and wiser, bringing us heartaches and joys. So here we are, twenty years into an amazing, wonderful marriage.

I can’t describe how blessed I feel! I know so many marriages don’t work out. I know there is so much hurt in other relationships. I don’t take it for granted that my marriage has been awesome pretty much everyday of it.

Twenty years has brought us ten children, too! I don’t take that for granted either. So many can’t have children and want them desperately. I am so thankful we’ve been able to have kids and lots of them! I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Twenty years has brought us to a new home too. One that requires lots of upkeep and work, but also gives us so much joy in the beauty around us.

So much can happen in twenty years and yet they have flown by so quickly! ‘Andy’ is now Andrew, jobs have changed, circumstances have changed, but one thing that has remained constant is our love and commitment toward one another. We often say to each other, “I don’t know how it’s possible, but I love you more now than I did on our wedding day.”

Of course, no relationship is perfect, and we have our selfish moments and our tiffs, but in reality, I don’t think our relationship could get much better.

Here’s a few things we both try to do to make our marriage as good as can be:

1. Focus on the positive. Everyone has their faults (I have more than a fair share). It’s easy to look at those. Choose to see the positive in your spouse instead. Look at the things they’ve done for you, not the things that were left undone.

2. Remember they work just as hard as you. Sometimes I forget how much energy and effort Andrew has already put into a day by the time he gets home from work, and then I get frustrated. But if I take a moment to realize how much it takes to go to work, work hard all day, and then come home to a busy family, I have a lot more grace.

3. Tell your spouse, “I love you.” A lot, everyday, even when you’re not feeling it. Love is not a feeling, it’s a choice.

4. Know your spouse’s love language. Andrew’s number one love language is physical touch while my least favorite is physical touch. But I choose to set that aside because I know he enjoys a neck rub or a hand hold.

5. Hang out together. Even if it’s just on the couch in the evening, eating chips, and watching another episode of “The Office”. Just be together.

6. Tease each other and laugh together. I don’t mean a cruel teasing. Just a fun bantering back and forth. Laugh at your mistakes and laugh together at silly things the kids do. Just laugh.

7. Be on the same page. We always try to agree when it comes to discipline or hard conversations with our kids BEFORE we go to our kids with it. Then there is a unified front, the kids know we mean business, and we know what the other is thinking.

8. Be adventurous together. Go on a mini vacation together, hike together, see a new place together. We love to find new mini golf places and go out for dinner and mini golfing. I’ve never laughed so hard in my life as at a mini golf place with my hubby. (That’s a story for another day.)

9. Do projects together. We love to do projects on our hobby farm together. This summer has been so difficult because I’ve been so pregnant and can’t help with much. So I sit on the front porch watching Andrew work, wishing I could be out there with him, putting up the pool, replacing doors, trimming trees, fixing fencing. We love to work together.

10. Love the Lord together. Above all else, make sure Jesus is in the midst of your relationship. We all need to give grace, understanding, and patience to our spouses and it’s only possible through Jesus.

Happy 20th Anniversary to my one and only! May we enjoy many, many more years together!

Years ago Andrew and I did a Sunday school class on the names of God. It really is something everyone should study and it’s so revealing about who our God truly is. He has so many facets we can never stop learning about Him, but knowing the names of God does really help!

One name in particular that stuck out to me then, and has stayed with me is Jehovah-Jireh. It means ‘the Lord will provide’. So many times in our lives, Andrew and I have seen Him provide in a way only he can. I remember one time we were going to be $800 short for our next mortgage payment so we started praying. We had about a month before it was due and it was stressful. I can’t tell you we were at peace and fully trusting the Lord because we weren’t. We were worried, but we still lifted it up to the Lord. Over that month random money came in, gifts from people, mostly anonymously, and it equaled the exact $800 we needed.

You’d think we’d learn from that, but like the Israelites in the desert, time and time again we have doubted and forgotten what the Lord can and will do.

In the last month, we have been having this awful smell in our hot water. Like rotten eggs. Prayerfully you haven’t smelled it on us! Andrew, being the researcher and do-it-yourselfer he is, started looking into why it smelled. We’ve always had beautifully, fresh, clean well water out here so this was out of the ordinary. Turned out the water heater was going out. Great…

It’s one of those things you know is going to happen eventually. It was old, we knew it couldn’t last forever, yet while it was running we didn’t think about it. It was also electric, which is very inefficient and expensive so we always wanted to turn it over to propane. Just. not. right. now.

But these things don’t wait until you have money in the bank. The water heater doesn’t care that we have nothing with which to replace it. It’s just done. Andrew tried everything he could to fix it. The parts needing replacing wouldn’t budge, of course, so we couldn’t replace them. We found if you flush it with bleach it takes care of the smell for a little while, but it’s a bit like a band-aid for a broken leg. Not going to do much in the long run. We were hoping to nurse it by until tax return season, just a mere 8 months away.

Then I decided, I’m going to trust God with this. It’s not too big for Him. He can provide. So, I started praying. I prayed all weekend for $1500 because that’s what we needed to reroute propane piping, buy a water heater, and hire a plumber to help. I kept telling God, “I trust you. This seems too big for me, and I have a tendency to doubt, but I’m going to trust you with this. Remove my doubt. Provide $1500.”

As we were driving to church on Sunday morning, Andrew and I were talking and I mentioned what I was praying for. He said, “ME TOO!” Here we were, praying for the exact same thing without knowing the other was doing it!

At church we sang this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKw6uqtGFfo.

I was reminded to the depths of my soul that I am a child of God and He loves me more than anything else. I just sobbed in church as the Holy Spirit washed this truth over me. If I’m His child of course He’ll take care of me. Of course He knows my needs even before I speak them. Of course I can trust Him.

I left church feeling loved, protected, and at peace. I kept praying, knowing that God heard me and would provide.

Monday morning started like any other day. I was playing a game with our four year old, smiling at his antics, and just enjoying a beautiful summer day. The phone rang and my wonderful friend said, “I couldn’t wait. I just had to call you! I have to tell you what just happened. I just got a check at the church for your family. Someone wants you to have $1500!”

I literally couldn’t speak. I just sat on the floor with tears in my eyes, completely silent. She probably thought I’d hung up! All I could say was, “I’m speechless, I can’t believe it!”

When I called Andrew to tell him, he was equally stunned. I could hear the tears in his voice as he said over and over, “You’re kidding, right??”

Isn’t it funny how we can tell God we believe and we trust and we know He’ll provide but then when He does we are so blown away we can’t even comprehend it?

Shows how much I was actually trusting, huh?!

How perfect and amazing is our God! He knows exactly what we need and not only can He provide but He’s willing to. Think about that…

He is willing to provide. He wants us to trust Him and He desires to meet our needs. That’s how much He loves us. He loves us so much He wants to give the exact amount we need for a water heater. In all of the world’s problems, in all the troubles people can face, He cares about my little problem. He cares so much He knows all the details.

I’m so far from perfect on trusting Him, but I’m learning. I’m learning I can truly trust Him in everything. Everything! Do you really trust Him? Do you believe He cares about you and every detail of your life? Do you believe He can and will provide and takes joy in doing so? I hope I’m getting there. I have been in a state of thankfulness all week and I don’t want to forget what he’s done for us!

Jehovah-Jireh. The Lord will provide.

My, how time flies in the summer! I don’t even know what we’ve been doing, other than enjoying the weather, swimming, projects, projects, and more projects. Summer in Minnesota is Project Season. Whether is road construction, home remodeling, fixing fences, repairing rotting barn doors, mowing, gardening, or clearing brush, there is always something to do. And we know we have a limited amount of time because before too long, the dreaded white stuff will start to blow again.

I do really like the change of seasons but I could use an extra couple months of summer before it gets cold, not only to get projects done, but also because I hate being cold. This next winter, hopefully I’ll be warm, snuggling our new baby.

In the midst of all these crazy busy summer days and trying to get things done, we need to remember the old saying, “Stop and smell the roses”. I keep seeing these memes on Facebook about how we only get 18 summers with our kids before they venture off into the great wide world and for some it might even be less. This summer my oldest are 16 and between two jobs, a mission trip, and friends, they really aren’t around a whole lot. So, I don’t know if we do really get 18 summers with them. Maybe 16 1/2. Either way, the time is short. Believe me when I say, I didn’t believe it when they were young. I thought we’d never get out of toddlerhood. I’d be stuck there forever, wiping faces and butts, trying to convince them naps are a good thing, and tricking them into eating broccoli. But in the blink of an eye, they are young men, starting to find their own path in life. It’s exciting, don’t get me wrong. I love to see them growing up and trying new things and wondering what they want to do as they grow up. I love the conversations we can have now. Mamas of littles, heed my words. They really do grow up all too fast!

So, whenever you have the chance this summer, stop. Just stop for a moment with your family, with your children. Don’t just stop and smell the roses.

Stop and find the beauty.

I think this requires a little more time and effort. You can quickly grab a rose and smell it, but to find the beauty takes some thought and intentionality. Just a couple weeks ago we brought the kids to see a movie. We had to get to the theater early to turn in our complimentary passes and get seats together so we had about two hours to kill before the actual movie time. What to do…

We found a small ice cream shop along the river, enjoyed a treat, and then meandered along the river. Kids are so good for meandering. They are also so good at finding the beauty. Rocks are beautiful, sticks look like snakes, every bug needs to be examined. And then things need to be thrown into the river to discover the current and swirls of the water. As we wandered along we started to notice all sorts of wildflowers growing along the path. Every one had to be looked over. We stopped no less than a dozen times to smell, pick, examine those flowers. By the end of our walk we had quite the assortment of flowers, pinecones, sticks, leaves, and other assorted ‘nature walk’ items.

It wasn’t the plan, this nature walk, but because we slowed down and just enjoyed what the kids were enjoying, it turned into a beautiful afternoon. And it struck me that we don’t do it often enough. Kids are innately proficient at slowing down and finding the beauty. All too often I’m saying, “Hurry up!”, when I should be taking their lead and slowing down.

Friends, we have half a summer left. Let your kids find the beauty and tag along. Realize what an amazing world we live in and thank our Creator for it. Because, remember, this is one of the few summers you have with your kids. 

I usually love camping. Every summer we try to get out of our house and, as a good friend says, “work really hard at being homeless!” This last weekend we planned an adventurous trip and it really did go well.

But at 32 weeks pregnant, 90+ degree weather with high humidity, and endless flies, it was a labor of love. I know my kids loved it and for that I’m grateful! I’m also grateful for my hubby who, without complaint, did most of the work. He found a camper for me to sleep in, set up the tent and food area, helped the kids change for the lake and cooked most of the meals. He was a Rockstar…and all on Father’s Day weekend! I really couldn’t ask for a better man!!

Here’s some camping musts:

Be near a lake and spend a lot of time in it…swimming, fishing, canoeing, kayaking, finding minnows, and building things in the sand.

Find wildlife…especially wildlife that doesn’t involve biting insects. Grr.

Family and friend time…that’s really what it’s all about isn’t it?!

Of course, there’s always time for yard games, disc golf, and anything else you can come up with. With the heat we made sure to take an air conditioned ride to the nearest DQ…about 20 miles away. Everyone cooled off and enjoyed a treat!

Best of all, we made memories we’ll never forget! The kids are already asking when the next camping trip is…uh…

maybe next summer, kids!

It’s a scorcher! Wow! Just a month ago we had a snowstorm to rival snowstorms and now we have August heat in May! Minnesota can’t make up its mind!

Now, I’m not complaining…I’ll take the heat any day over the cold. Without central air it’s a little brutal in our house though! Friday we went to a movie to get out of the heat and today church was a welcome relief.

We decided a while ago we’d have a “project weekend” this weekend. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into when we scheduled that! Sitting in the shade with lemonade and a popsicle is one thing on a 98 degree day. Working in the pasture and around the yard is another!

An awesome and I believe slightly crazy friend of ours came to help yesterday. She and the kids cleared the pasture of fallen branches and old fencing, all the while sweating profusely! It was one of those projects that we’ve wanted to get done for a while and I’m so glad it’s done! The pasture looks so beautiful now. I’m sure the cows don’t care at all, but I do. There’s something about coming down our driveway and the first thing you see is that big open space of green grass with shade trees and cows contentedly grazing. Without the logs and branches and the old fencing running aimlessly down the middle of the pasture, it’s a sight to behold! It really brings me joy.

I’m really thankful for that friend and my kids! I couldn’t be out there hauling logs in this heat at 29 weeks pregnant! I was talking to my friend today and here’s our conversation…

Me: “You know, our friendship isn’t really fair at all. You do piano with my kids, come work your tail off in stifling heat, give us leftovers from the church picnic…and what do I give you?… A hug?!”

Her: “I love those kinds of projects! I love coming to your place and seeing a thing accomplished. Sometimes you work and work and don’t see progress and wonder, what’s the point…and you get to the place where you just need to move sticks!”

It was funny, yet profound. Life really is like that, isn’t it? I mean, so often we work and work and really don’t see the reward or the end. Think about laundry…Even raising kids can seem interminable and as if there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. There’s so many jobs in life where it just goes round and round and you kind of start to wonder why you do it.

I’ve wondered that a million times as I sweep and mop my kitchen floor. What is the point? In no less than five minutes it’s going to be sticky and sandy again!

Sometimes you just need to move sticks.

You just need that job that has a beginning and an end and there’s a distinct difference when you are finished. You just need to see what you’ve accomplished in a relatively short amount of time and be proud of what you’ve accomplished. You need that satisfaction of a job well done, even if it is 98 degrees outside!

I think our kids need those jobs too. School can seem like it goes round and round. Chores can seem endless. Cleaning their room over and over can make them think, what’s the point. Sometimes they just need those quick, satisfying jobs as much as we need them. They need to see the end result too.

We all need that. Those tasks that take a long time and maybe don’t give us a quick result are all good things and we can’t give them up. They do eventually pay off; it may just take longer. But those shorter, get ’em done jobs are so good for us too. They give us a boost to keep going on the longer, less-quickly rewarding jobs.

So, in the midst of the round and round, what sticks are you going to move today?

It’s been a hard week.

We had to have a “Come to Jesus moment” with our son that went well into the night. It ended well but it’s still emotionally draining. Those hard conversations can take a lot out of you, sometimes more than any physical work.

A friend had a stroke and has been in the hospital all week. No one really knows if she’ll recover. Visiting her was so hard because the last time I spent time with her she was talking, laughing, and enjoying a cookie we had brought her.

My husband’s uncle passed away. Though we knew it would happen eventually it’s still so difficult when it actually happens. Right now my hubby is mowing the lawn with the mower he gave us and I just can’t stop thinking about him and what a great guy he was.

A friend’s brother was in an accident and what life-flighted to a hospital. We’re praying for a miraculous and complete healing. My heart is so burdened for him and the family.

So, it’s been a hard week.

This morning I was praying over all these things and God reminded me of the good that happened this week. He reminded me of the blessings and joys in the midst of trials.

Our son is restored emotionally and mentally and even he says a burden is lifted off of him. The next morning he was like a different kid, cheerful, willing to help, laughing with his siblings. He gave me a big smile and said Good Morning! That might not seem like a big deal but when we’ve gone months with a sullen, withdrawn teen, it is a big deal!

Our dishwasher has been broken for weeks and we have just been hand-washing everything. We haven’t had the funds for a new dishwasher so we’ve just been dealing with it. Andrew wanted to just get one off of Craigslist regardless of not having the $100 for it and just figure it out later. But I kept telling him that the kids were doing a good job washing and it was really good for them. They all had to work together to wash, rinse, dry, and put away. There were some fights, but a lot of laughing and goofing around too. It was good for their relationships. Still, deep down, I really wanted to get it replaced before the baby came. It takes a lot longer to hand wash than load a dishwasher and with a new baby, homeschooling, and other chores, I wasn’t really looking forward to washing dishes long term. I didn’t say anything about it, just asked the Lord to provide. He did more than give us $100 for a used dishwasher!

On Wednesday evening someone snuck a dishwasher onto our front porch! I was even home with the little ones so I have no idea how I didn’t hear something! The dog didn’t even bark (tells you what kind of  guard dog we have). I have no idea who did it but whoever they are is well loved by our family! My kids were so excited! I was shocked! I know I shouldn’t be surprised because God has done things like that before for us and yet, it still puts me in awe every time!

Blessings don’t negate the trials. They don’t make the hard stuff go away. But they do remind us in the midst of the hard and negative that God is still with us, walking right beside us, holding us up, and seeing us through. He loves us so much he’ll replace a dishwasher for us! He loves us so much he’ll give us full healing, whether it be emotional, spiritual, or physical. And He never leaves us! That’s what those blessings remind us of.

In the midst of whatever you are facing, I pray you see God right there with you, loving you and taking care of you. I pray you never lose sight of Him and how much He loves you, even when things are so hard there seems to be no light. Because there is always light, always blessings.

Mother’s Day is always a bittersweet day for me. I love that my family does whatever they can to make me feel pampered and special on Mother’s Day. My kids always make me special cards, Andrew always makes me a special breakfast, usually in bed.

This year he would have brought me breakfast in bed but while he was cooking and I was sleeping there was a yell, “I need someone to wipe my butt!” I, unfortunately, was the one to wake up to that and stumbled to the bathroom. He didn’t just need his butt wiped…not sure how he got it everywhere, but he did. The end result was a clean bathroom and a soiled foot on my part. I’ll spare you the details. So instead of crawling back into bed to await my breakfast I hopped into the shower.

But I got a delicious, hot breakfast on the couch with my Bible. The day was improving! It can only go up from a bathroom covered in poop, right?!

We went to church, had a picnic, went to the zoo, and even got some plants into my new raised bed gardens that Andrew built and filled for me! He’s such an awesome hubby! I ask, he builds.

Speaking of that, I asked for a farm table for outside dining and he’s been diligently working on it all week as a Mother’s Day gift. It needs benches and stain but it’s beautiful already! I love it so much and can’t wait to enjoy meals together under the trees this summer! He’s so talented.

But Mother’s Day always comes with this heart-wrenching sadness for me too. I lost my mom 16 years ago now and, yet, every year it still hits me hard. I have to fight back the tears every Mother’s Day and force myself to just enjoy the day and not think too much about what I don’t have. I miss her so much and I know she’d love all these grandkids to the moon and back! She only ever met Samuel and Isaiah when they were brand new babies. Now, she has thirteen grandkids between my sister and I with number 14 soon to appear! She’d be right in the thick of it all, loving on all these kids, taking them out, gardening with us, reading to them, just being a great grandma. Sometimes life doesn’t really turn out the way you expect.

Yesterday I thought about her and how amazing she was. She was my best friend, my confidante. I could talk with her about anything and she was always willing to listen and chat with me. She was so smart, funny, and sassy – just so fun to be around. Was she perfect? No. Just like the rest of us moms, she made mistakes. But she was humble, said sorry, and hugged me a lot. She was one of those moms who took in all our friends too and made them feel at home. She talked with them and helped them through a lot too. I can’t say enough about how amazing she was!

So as I thought about her, I realized what an amazing legacy she started. She taught my sister and I how to love, about Jesus, and how to be a mom. She began this legacy that I’m sure she never would have thought would extend to 14 grandkids! While I wish she were here, walking out this journey with me, I’m so thankful for the person she was and what she taught me. I still sometimes look back and think, what would my mom do? How would she handle this?

I hope I’m passing on that legacy of love and Jesus as well as she did. I can only hope to be the kind of mom she was. Someday I hope and pray my kids look back and say, look at the legacy mom left us and that is being passed on to our kids. I pray they all know Jesus and how much they are loved by Him and me, just like I knew that from my mom.

What kind of legacy are you leaving your kids? It’s great if they can do chores, their own laundry, write a good paper. But it’s better if they know they are loved and how to love. It’s best if they know Jesus and can see you living your life for Him while you are on this earth. Because we never know how much time we have.

Just a few short weeks ago I sat down in church, ready to worship and learn. There was someone sitting next to me I didn’t recognize, which isn’t uncommon for me.

Nothing different. Nothing unusual.

But then it was time to greet each other. And I felt this nudge. You know the one. The Holy Spirit was nudging me to do more than just say Good Morning. How many times have I ignored that nudge? How many times have I brushed it off as nothing?

I turned to the young man and said hello and asked his name. I asked how long he’d been coming to Rejoice!. (I’ve learned not to say, “are you visiting?” because inevitably I say that to someone who’s gone to church there longer than me!) His answer surprised me. He was there because he’d been once before, months ago, under very different circumstances. And our church had moved him at that point so much, that as soon as he was able he came back.

He had quite the story and past. All I could think was, this guy needs to get connected. He needs a small group and some strong Christian men around him. I introduced him to a couple guys I knew would embrace him. He got plugged in with some awesome people, even spending time with them outside of small group. He even ended up with a new, full-time job with a great employer, who happens to be a Christian, who is ready to invest in his life and encourage him along.

I don’t know what the future holds for this young man. He has a lot to overcome. But I do know that, as a church, we did exactly what God has called the church to do. Wrap our arms around the hurting and lost, speak life into what was once dead, fill people with the truth and with Christ’s love. A motto at our church is,

“1 > 99
Lost people matter to God, and so they matter to us.
We strive to be a church that unchurched people love to attend.
Jesus sends us out, to the ends of the earth, to share the good news of Jesus.”
Luke 15:1-32, Acts 1:8

We believe whole-heartedly in this motto and strive to live it out. Do we fail? Absolutely! Do we ignore the Holy Spirit’s nudge? Yep, we’re all guilty of it.

But when we listen…just stop and listen…and then obey the Holy Spirit, God can accomplish mighty deeds!

Sometimes I just marvel at God’s goodness to people. Only he can orchestrate something like this. Only He can put the right people in the right places at the exact times He needs them. And only He can nudge us to do what’s right even when it’s out of the ordinary. Only He can set people free from the chains of this life!