Raising Boys

It was just my sister and I growing up. We spent most of our time playing dolls, Barbies, and coloring. Even when we played outside, which was a lot, we played house with blankets and our bikes. More often that not, our play was calm, gentle, and quiet.

For some reason, the Lord decided to bless me with six boys. Six. They are wild, loud, dirty, and reckless. There is always something broken and someone always has a wound. I wouldn’t trade it for anything, but let me tell you, it’s been a learning curve.

I’ve always had the rule that my boys can’t wrestle in the kitchen. So guess where they always want to wrestle. Yep, the kitchen. One evening while I was making dinner the big boys came into the kitchen and were horsing around. Pretty soon it turned to full on wrestling with each trying to get the other to the ground.

I had just said you aren’t supposed to do that in here, when one threw the other through the window of the front door. Glass shattered everywhere. The looks on their faces were priceless as they stared at me stunned, paralyzed in place. They still had arms locked around each other.

There have been so many moments like this I don’t even try to count them anymore. And, they hardly faze me anymore. Oh you’re hurt again? Ok, let’s clean it up. That’s broken? Maybe we can fix it, maybe it has to be thrown. I try to not let it bother me because it’s just going to come. It is what it is.

Another part of raising boys that I had a steep learning curve with is the puberty years. We always think of girls being hormonal as they develop, but guess what? There are hormones raging through boys during that time too.

And did you know that testosterone actually destroys pathways that were previously created in the brain and then the brain has to rewire?

Makes sense why they sleep, eat, argue, sleep some more, doesn’t it?

When my older ones were in those years, it was so difficult for me. I hadn’t had to live with a boy going through all those changes and I had no idea what to expect. Everything was so new and I thought it was all abnormal.

Not only that, but I took it all personally. Every argument and snotty remark I felt I needed to combat. I felt like all I was doing was arguing with them. It eventually ruined (thankfully temporarily) my relationship with one of my boys. We’ve spent years repairing it and I’ve regretted a lot. Especially my response to everything.

I learned a lot raising my first two boys. I’ve always told them, you were my guinea pigs and I messed up way more on you than the others. Thankfully the Lord knows that before he gives you your firstborn and He creates them to handle it!

One of the biggest lessons I’m learning is to not take everything so personally. I’m learning to let the snide comment roll off my back. I’m learning to keep my mouth shut and not respond.

Through it all the most important lesson I’ve learned is to put relationship first. In the midst of those moments when they are wanting to argue or roll their eyes or ignore me, I try to remember that long term I want a good relationship with this person. Someday they will be an adult on their own and I want them to desire to come back and spend time with us.

This doesn’t mean I don’t address the attitude and the comments. It does mean I’m learning to practice pausing and breathing. I tend to be a hot tempered person so this is a long learning battle for me. I fail often. I just had to apologize to my young adult for yelling in the heat of the moment. So please don’t think I’ve arrived and have this down perfectly.

I am improving though. I’m learning to find those moments when we can have a conversation about the attitude, the eye roll, the comment. Timing is so important. When they are frustrated and heated, it does zero good to add more frustration to the mix. That’s the moment I have to walk away and breathe. That’s when I have to pause and let it slide off.

I’m also learning to just have good conversations with my young adults. I don’t want every interaction with them to be frustrating. I don’t want every conversation to be serious and difficult. I try to joke with them, ask them what they enjoyed about their day, and just spend time with them.

Building relationship isn’t easy. It takes daily diligence, not just once in a while interaction. It takes a lot of deep breaths when you’re dealing with a young man going through all the changes. It takes many moments of conscientious action and not just “come to Jesus” moments as some call their rants at their children.

Again, I don’t have it all perfect. I’m a work in progress too. But God is a God of relationships and I want to be a mom of relationships. Even the failures can help build the relationships if we’re willing to say “I’m sorry”.

Romans 12:18 reminds us, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.“

This means we moms should live peaceably with our kids, as much as we possibly can.

Watch the Harvest

We spent a beautiful February day pruning our fruit trees. Usually in February we’re huddled inside by the fire watching the winter wind whip the icy snow in swirls and drifts around our property. This winter has been vastly different from most I remember. The temperatures have been mostly above freezing when they usually rare get even up to 32 degrees. And many of the February days have felt like spring. So, we took advantage of them and started pruning.

When we first moved here, the orchard was in tough shape. There were plum trees that were so overgrown you couldn’t see through them or walk between them. They bore teeny plums that were mostly pits. They didn’t last long. We attempted pruning but they were too far gone and we ended up cutting them down.

The apple and pear trees weren’t much better and needed desperate pruning and chopping. Honestly, I didn’t really know what I was doing when I started. I watched a lot of YouTube videos from actual pruners, read myriad articles, and asked others. I still went really conservative when I first pruned.

There were five types of branches to prune. Those that are diseased or dead, those that grow inward, those that grow straight upward, those that grow straight downward, and those that crisscross.

I’d say the first couple years I pruned a few branches, leaving a vast majority for fear I would harm the tree. As the years have gone though and I’ve learned more about pruning, I’m much less conservative and far more generous in my chopping. The pile of branches after we’re done is impressive and takes numerous trips to the burn pile from the orchard.

One thing that has struck me is that 4 out of 5 of the branches to prune are healthy. They aren’t diseased or dead. If left, they would bud and bear leaves.

This year, I’d say 99% of the branches we cut off were healthy, live branches. So why remove them? If they aren’t dead, why bother?

Well, if left, while they would bear leaves, they wouldn’t bear fruit. And, in fact, they would choke out the tree and not allow other branches to bear fruit either. It would actually be detrimental to the fruit tree and not allow it to have full life.

Taking away a branch that doesn’t bear fruit is easy. It’s easy to see a diseased or dead branch and it doesn’t feel all that painful to cut that away. But it’s hard to cut away those branches that look healthy and strong. It’s difficult to bring the clippers to the base of those branches that are still green and supple.

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.” John 15:1

The orchard at sunrise! Look at those pruned trees!

It’s the same in our lives, isn’t it? It’s not usually that difficult to find the dead and diseased parts of our lives and allow the Lord to prune those away. Although, let’s be honest, it is sometimes hard to let go of some of our stubborn sins.

But, isn’t it even harder and more painful to allow the Lord to prune those things that seem healthy and good? What about those activities or schedule fillers that we can justify as good and helpful? What about those people that make us laugh and send us funny memes? What about that Caribou coffee every morning? What about those kids’ sports that keep us running every day of the week but seem good for the kids? What about that podcast you listen to in the morning instead of tuning into God’s Word?

I’ve heard it said that Satan doesn’t have to tell us God isn’t real or unimportant, he just has to keep us busy enough to not think about God. Is that where we are? Is that where you are?

Are you willing to let the Lord prune that which looks healthy?

The Lord has called each of us to a purpose. To know Him, His Word, and to glorify Him with our lives. If we want to actually fulfill this purpose, then we have to allow him to cut away that which causes us to fail. And it might just be a bit painful.

God may ask you to stop spending time with certain people because, while they make you laugh and desire to spend time with you, they aren’t encouraging you toward His kingdom but actually away from it.

God may ask you to set aside that good book or funny podcast because, while they entertain, they may not encourage godly thoughts and pondering of His Word.

God may prune away all those extracurricular activities because, while they may be fulfilling to one child, they are dividing your family and preventing family time.

God might just be telling you to quit buying those extras because, while they boost you up in the moment, they aren’t giving true contentment and satisfaction.

Why does God want to prune these things and probably more away?

“…that it may bear more fruit”

That YOU may bear more fruit. More of your days being faithful to His call, more of your heart and mind focused on His goodness, mercy, and grace, more of your time discipling your children to know and love God, more of your good works serving your husband and children and church. That YOU may bear more fruit.

When I truly started believing my fruit trees would bear more fruit if I was relentless and harsh in my pruning and I put that belief into action, I truly saw better health and harvests from my orchard. It’s painful to do and I sometimes question if I’m doing it right, and even Andrew will say, are you sure you want to cut that much away? But my faithfulness each year in generously pruning has paid off.

Allowing God to generously prune your life will pay off far more than my orchard ever will. He loves you and wants the best for you. He will only prune anything that would destroy you or harm you, even if it seems the opposite at the time. You can trust Him. He knows better than you or I what we need in our lives.

Let Him prune and watch the harvest that will come!

Even the ducks are impressed.

Defining Ourselves

Sometimes the best revelations come when you’re talking with a good friend. Yesterday I was having a great conversation, just catching up with someone. Someone who has been on a giant life journey the last two years of rediscovering herself and who she is in Christ.

It’s been a beautiful journey to watch and be a part of. Sometimes she allows me to be her sounding board and I feel privileged that I’ve gotten to be a part of it. It’s been painful, joy-filled, encouraging, and sometimes scary to watch as God rips open seams she’s sewn across her heart and fills those hurt places with His love, mercy, and grace.

I’ve watched her faith grow and mine has grown in the midst of it too. It’s always awe-inspiring to see God work. I often just stand shocked and then think, I shouldn’t be so shocked. My God is a big big God and nothing is impossible with Him. But, every time I’m shocked. I guess that’s part of what stirs and grows our faith in these things.

In the midst of a conversation about projects (which are never-ending around here), we started talking about being busy. It’s morphed in her life, and to be honest in mine as well. Being busy used to be a status symbol for her, it was what defined her. And I think most of us can relate to that. Our culture applauds busyness, rushing, hustle, adding another thing to our to-do list. Even our kids are many times defined by what they do. I still distinctly remember overhearing a woman talking on the phone and the person on the other line must have asked about her kids. Her response struck me as so typical and yet a little sad.

“Oh, we have a track runner, an artist, and a dancer.”

Her children were defined by their activities. I think many of us define ourselves with what we do. It’s hard to tell others about ourselves without sharing the busyness.

But what happens when we are only defined by our work, our activities, our progress in something?

One thing I’ve heard from my friend throughout her journey is that her work and how good she was at it was what defined her. So, if something didn’t go well at work, even if it wasn’t directly her fault, she took it as a personal hit. It became so important to do it all right that she became completely burned out and despondent.

Enter Jesus.

I won’t share her whole journey, that’s for her to share. But I will share what she’s learning, and what I’m learning as well. As she’s been on this journey I’ve been frequently convicted by her steps. In a good way. I’m seeing where I’ve been defined by the wrong things too.

We’re both learning that Jesus defines us. We are children of the One True God. We belong to His kingdom as princesses of the King. We are accepted by Jesus and not just accepted but adopted into His family as sisters. We have full access to an all powerful God. We are loved, no matter our pasts, no matter how many times we mess up, and no matter what others think of us.

I might have to digest these longer and break them down. What does each one mean for our lives? How does it make what we do different? How does it change us?

Often I see others praise and call out children around them for what they do, especially in Christian circles. They loudly praise and honor the sports kids are involved in. They want to know all about their practices and games.

What about the kids who don’t do sports? Are they less than? What if they are artists, comedians, Bible enthusiasts, book lovers, or animal whisperers? Do those activities matter less?

They do to that specific person because he or she is “into sports”. But those children certainly are less than. I think that as adults we need to be willing to see kids for their wonder of the world around them, their love for the Lord, their trusting faith, and their care and compassion of others, not what they do.

We need to be careful we aren’t putting certain people on pedestals because of a certain activity. Especially as adults. It’s our job to teach kids how they are defined and if we’re only praising those who do sports, we’re missing the mark by a long shot.

Let’s all practice defining ourselves and others by Jesus, not by the world’s standards!

Diligence, Discipline, and Discovery

My Opa was one of the neatest men I ever knew. You know when you’re a kid or younger adult you don’t always realize how special a grandpa is. But even as a young girl I looked up to him and was in awe of him.

He survived World War II as a German soldier. He was shot in the stomach and Americans picked up him, got him to their hospital, did surgery and saved his life. He had this huge scar across his chest and stomach that I always stared at when we went swimming together. And he was always happy to tell the story.

He was an engineer after the war and helped design a sled that’s still used in the Arctic.

In later years, whenever I’d go to Germany to visit, he’d always he studying something new. He loved to study English and was quite proficient. He loved to garden, bike, hike, study architect, watch the news, read in English, and learn from others in his village. He could build just about anything.

He never quit learning, his whole life. When he came to visit me he spent half his time studying how my house was built because it was so different than his.

I’ve realized over the last couple of years that I want to be like him! I want to push myself to learn something new every year, even every month. I want to do hard things that push me past where I don’t think I can go.

Recently our family joined Taekwondo and let me tell you, it definitely pushes you past what you think you can do! It’s not for the faint of heart!

What I’ve found is that it’s not just the physical push. There’s a mental push in needing to know the terms, the pledge, counting in Korean, remembering the forms. Then there’s the emotional push as well. Pushing myself and my kids to go when we’re tired and it’s cold out and we rather stay inside. Pushing past the soreness and mental strain.

The whole family is learning the importance of diligence and discipline. We don’t get to just show up once or twice to class and expect we have it all down. We have to show up ready to learn and do hard things.  And we have to show up over and over so we can go to the testing confidently. Not only that but we want to be proud of what we’ve accomplished by doing it well.

It’s probably true that you could find a way to slide by and do Taekwondo half-heartedly and still pass a test. But then, what could we be proud of? What did we learn? In the end, it’s not worth it.

My Opa taught me,  if you’re going to do something, do it well. Be exceptional. Push past your limits. And, of course, do it with your friends!

Capture and Hold

The are moments in life you want to capture and hold onto. This is one of those moments.

Moms used to tell me “enjoy these moments, they go by so fast” when my bigs were little. I get it now. The time truly does fly by in the blink of an eye and leaves you wondering what just happened and where it all went. Just last night Liv said “you know 2002 was 22 years ago.” Give me a minute to go lie down.

There are times when I miss when my oldest two were little boys, but watching them live God-honoring lives is something so indescribable and awesome. I’m so proud of them and the paths they’ve chosen with God’s help.

Recently our grandson (yes that still feels really strange to say but I love it) was dedicated. The pastor who dedicated him had dedicated his mama, our dear Liv, when she was a baby and married her and Samuel. He was reminiscing about it and mentioned what an amazing young man Samuel is. He said “shout out to his parents who did an amazing job raising him”. I wanted to shout out “it certainly wasn’t us! God interceded a lot!”.

I stand in awe of the young men Samuel and Isaiah have become in spite of our parenting. Andrew and I have told our boys numerous times they were our guinea pigs and we messed up more with them than their siblings. God knew and extended a lot of grace during those years when we were just wandering lost in the parenting forest.

Looking back, I’m so thankful for a few things.

One, obviously, is God’s grace. He was always with us, guiding and directing and convicting when needed. And He is with us still. Never forget that, mama. When you are up in the middle of the night with a sick child, when there’s behaviors you don’t know what to do with, when people judge and criticize you for your choices. God is with you. And He desires to lavish wisdom and strength on you. Just ask and see if He doesn’t do it!

Two, I’m so thankful for godly parents who were in the thick of it or had just gone through it. There were so many people God placed in our lives who passed on godly wisdom to us in the exact moment we needed it. And did it with grace and love. We’re still friends with these people and can look back together on all God did for our families when our kids were little. Find your tribe, mama. Find those women who walk with God, seek His wisdom, and love you and your family well. Align yourself with other families who spend time in God’s Word and with His people. We were built for community!

Third I’m so thankful for prayer. I’ve spent countless hours praying for my kids. And I won’t stop! I can’t tell you the many times the Holy Spirit has intervened for my kids because I’ve prayed. I can’t tell you how many times the Holy Spirit has convicted me to stop and pray for my kids. Some of those instances I don’t even know the outcome of. I just know I was told to pray and I did. Mamas, listen to that still small voice and that uneasy feeling in your gut. It’s God. He wants to commune with you!

Parenting isn’t easy. And when they are little it can be so hard and feel so endless. It sounds cliche but try to remember it really does go by so fast. Capture those sweet moments when you can and hold on to those when times are tough. It makes all the difference!

Happy New Year!

Happy New year, friends and family!

My daughter and I were commenting this morning that it doesn’t really feel like we are already past Christmas and it’s New Year’s Day. I think the strange Minnesota weather is partly to blame. It’s been so warm and muddy out, it hardly felt like December! Yet, here we are!

We went to church yesterday to see our sweet grandson be dedicated. As I watched my son and daughter-in-law stand on stage with the sweetest baby and an amazing pastor, I thought, what a great way to ring in the New Year! You can say there are better ways – parties, Times Square, lots of noise and craziness. But I won’t agree.

Ringing in the New Year dedicating our hearts and children to the Lord is the absolute best way to celebrate in my opinion! After the dedication, the pastor talked about resolutions and all the different kinds people make this time of year.

Our sweet family branch!

I’m going to get in shape.

I’m going to save more money.

I’m going to get a better job.

I’m going back to school.

I’m going to buy that new car.

The list goes on. What’s the common piece in all those resolutions?

Me.

So often, we focus all on ourselves in our resolutions. I am going to… I will do… I want…

And how often do those resolutions last? A week, a month? Usually not much longer than that. Pretty soon, we’re back to our old habits and nothing in our lives has truly changed. Self focus rarely brings about heart change.

Self focus rarely brings about heart change.

The pastor instead shared about a different kind of resolution. A resolution that no matter what comes, no matter the trials, circumstances, ordeals, joys that 2024 can bring, we resolve to focus on the Lord.

We resolve to remember that no matter what the Lord is on the throne and can’t be moved. We resolve to put the Lord first in all things. We resolve to honor the Lord with every task, chore, dollar, event in 2024. We resolve not to worship the idols of this world, but worship the one true God.

It’s not an easy path. Rarely is the right path the easy path. In fact, I’d say the right path is always the harder path.

Think of Daniel in the Bible. He resolved not to eat the king’s food. Why? Not because it was the wrong foods, but because it had most assuredly been sacrificed and offered up to false gods. He wasn’t willing to even partake in the foods offered to the king’s false gods. He resolved to put the Lord first. It wasn’t the easy path. He was thrown in the lion’s den and his friends who resolved with him were thrown in the fiery furnace.

But God.

God saved Daniel and his friends. He rewarded them for remaining faithful and steadfast. He walked with them in the lion’s den and the fiery furnace. They chose the hard path and were willing to walk it because of who their God was and is.

We can make the same choice.

Whatever your New Year’s Resolution may be, put the Lord first. A resolution to get in shape or save money isn’t inherently wrong. But when our trust and our fulfilment lie in that thing, it’s going to fail. We won’t maintain it. We won’t be satisfied with it. We won’t find happiness or contentment there.

Only when we RESOLVE to put the Lord first, will our year be everything we hope and dream it will be. And I can’t think of a better way to do that than to resolve to dedicate our hearts and our children’s hearts to the Lord this very day.

These are the amazing children I dedicate to the Lord!

I’ll share more about how we can achieve this in the next post.

For now, Happy New Year! And may the good, good Lord be first in your year!

Remember the Shepherds

It’s Christmas! Merry merry Christmas to all our family and friends!

We’ve had three days of celebrating and have loved every minute of it. My favorite was yesterday when Andrew and I and our kids were together for the whole day. We worshipped at church where our beautiful daughter-in-law sang, ate good food, opened gifts, read the Christmas story, ate lots of candy, opened books and spent time reading, played games, and just enjoyed one another’s company.

As we ponder the Christmas story this year, our pastor focused a bit on the shepherds. What I love about the Bible is that every single line, every event, every person is significant. And if you understand the depth and significance and weight each thing carries, it just magnifies the truth of it all.

Why shepherds? Why were they the first to be told of the Savior’s birth? Why not the priests? The elite? The rich? Why the shepherds?

Did you know it matters?

The shepherds were considered the lowliest of lows. They were known as the unforgivables because it was generally believed they stole from their neighbors by letting their sheep graze in other’s property and then not paying it back. They weren’t allowed in the temple to worship because of this. No one considered them to even be thought of by God.

But God. He sent his angel to tell the shepherds first that He’d sent His Son to earth. And the message was so important.

“Do not be afraid! I bring you good news of great joy for ALL people.”

Not only did God send His angel to the shepherds but He gave them a message that was sure to directly include them. This is for ALL people. Even you. The lowliest of lows.

Isn’t God great?

Remember the shepherds this Christmas if you’re feeling less than perfect. Maybe you’ve looked at too many Instagram posts of matching jammies and picture perfect decorating. Maybe you hardly had any money because you’re a first time single mama and had to thrift shop for your kids. Maybe you’re all sick in the couch and missing the festivities. Or you’re desperately missing a loved one and having a hard time enjoying the season.

Remember the shepherds.

God included them. He didn’t just include them, he put those who were last in society first. He told them first, He sent them to His son first, and He gave them the important job of telling everyone else.

God didn’t think the shepherds were unworthy. He loved them so much He sent His only son to them to save them.

And God met the shepherds right where they were, dirty, alone, cold, with no friends but each other and their flocks. God didn’t care that their tunics were dirty or their sheep had grazed in the wrong area. It didn’t bother God that no one else gave them the time of day.

Guess what? God doesn’t care if your house is Pinterest worthy. It doesn’t matter to Him if you have a three day old sweatshirt on with baby spit-up on the shoulder. He’s happy to come into your home even if the wrapping paper is still all over the floor (here) or your kids have only eaten candy for three days (yep) or your tired and sad and lonely.

None only does it not matter to Him, he WANTS to come in. He wants to give you the good news of great joy.

It’s for you.

All you have to do is believe it.

Dolls and Dreams

One of my most vivid Christmas memories is of the Christmas when I was 13. My mom thought my sister and I were collecting dolls so she put a small doll in each of our stockings. That Christmas morning we got up, excited to see what was in our stocking and I remember pulling that doll out, starting at it, and crying. I cried because it was the last thing I wanted. Them I cried because I made my mom feel bad. I kept that doll for a long time and actually really cherished it.

I think I came to realize how my mom had tried really hard to know what my sister and I were into. The thought really does count.

I’ve learned over the years that my top love language is gifts. I love to give others presents and really think about what they’d like and use. I love getting gifts too, but my real joy comes in giving them.

There’s another side of me though. I really dislike clutter and stuff in my house. And with 12 people living here, well, stuff accumulates faster than baby rabbits.

Something we’ve started doing is paying for a condo at the Dells for a few days as our gift to our kids. It’s an amazing way to spend time with them, give them something special, and not accumulate more than memories. I hope and pray this tradition can continue for years!

This Christmas the best gift I have received was my son coming home from the Marines and all my family being together under one roof. I wouldn’t need anything else this Christmas. My heart is full!

All my kids (and grandkid) in one place ❤

As I thought about how happy it makes me to have all my kids home, it got me thinking about the future. Someday more of my kids will move out and some will likely marry and have children. They will have their own lives which is awesome and wonderful and what we raise them to do.

But, I’ll always want them to want to come home. So that got me pondering what makes them want to come home. Social media will push perfect, Parade of Homes worthy houses, perfect decorating and flawless food.

My handsome and amazing men!

Don’t fall for that and get stressed! It’s not true!

Here’s what it takes to have them want to come home: relationship. Always put your relationship with your kids before activities, events, work, projects, decorating, even cooking. Make it a priority to listen to your kids and be interested in what they like. Encourage them in their dreams and be excited as they pursue them!

I think the worst thing I could do is be judgemental of their dreams or cry over their wanting to launch.

Of course, I think there are a few simple homemaking things that help people feel comfortable in your home. I’ll share those next time. But those should never outweigh desiring a good relationship with your kids!

Hint: a comfy couch always helps!

Mmm, mmm, bread!

One of the things I have become passionate about over the years is feeding my family good food. Not just food that tastes good, but food that is nourishing, wholesome, full of healthy ingredients.

I saw a quote not too long ago that said, “The problem is that we aren’t eating food anymore, we’re eating food-like products.” This is all too true. The boxed, bagged, and shelf stable items in the grocery store aren’t really food. When you can’t pronounce most of the ingredients, it isn’t food. When it says “bio-engineered”, “GMO”, “natural”, it’s far from natural. Now there’s a growing trend to find “more sustainable proteins” meaning growing things in a lab and processing crickets into flour. This isn’t food.

Did you know the majority of illnesses today are a direct result of things we put into our bodies? This doesn’t just include food. It includes chemicals and toxins in shots, water, cleaning products, fragrances, and more. I could probably write a 1,000 page book on the detriments of all these things, and frankly, it would just be a really discouraging book. For now, let’s focus on food.

We all love food. We love to eat. We love to gather around food. We love to try new foods when we travel. And God created us to need food. So it is a good thing.

Now, don’t panic and trash everything in your kitchen. It’s taken us years to get where we are. We’re still not 100% organic in our house. It’s not something you can switch overnight. But every year, I pick one or two things that need to be “cleaned up” in our diet and work on that. I started gardening years ago so we could eat clean vegetables, not sprayed with harsh chemicals. Then for a couple years we focused on knowing how and where our meat was raised. Since moving to the country that’s become even easier because we can raise it right on our property.

Another year it was laundry detergent. Another, it was cleaning products around the house. It’s a slow and gradual change but it’s a purposeful one. I want my family to be as healthy as we can be and I’ve seen vast improvements as we’ve changed our food to real food.

Lately it’s been bread. I used to make my own bread for a while and then it fell by the wayside. I can’t even remember why. But I’ve wanted to start baking my own again and have found a fast, sustainable recipe. It’s so easy and so yummy!

You just mix all the ingredients together in a food safe container with a lid, stick it in the fridge for at least 24 hours (but it can stay there for fourteen days), and then whenever you want a loaf of bread you just pull off a chunk, form a loaf, and bake! The best part – no kneading!

With 12 people in the house plus many coming and going, I don’t have time for lots of steps. I never remember to feed a sour dough starter and I don’t want to knead for 5 to 10 minutes. This is doable! And it tastes amazing.

Another great thing about this recipe is when you mix a new batch in your container, you don’t wash it out. This way you get a sourdough like bread because it slowly ferments in the fridge and the residue from the previous batch helps the next batch ferment. It’s pretty much amazing.

If I can do it, you can do it! (Recipe posted on my new “Recipes for Busy Moms” page! https://desiredhavenfarm.com/busy-mom-recipes/ Here)

Focus

It’s the end of 2023. Can you believe it? The days seem to be racing by all too quickly. I’m trying to savor December and the Christmas season this year by just being present and enjoying how my kids wonder at the lights, presents, music, and cookies. I’ve been silent on my blog for a bit as I have been processing and praying over my writing.

I feel like I’ve finally narrowed my vision and goal for my writing, which I think every writer needs to do. It’s not easy. I think one of my hesitations in narrowing my focus is leaving people out and not relating to others. But realistically, no matter what, I won’t meet everyone where they are at and won’t relate to all.

As I’ve prayed over it, my focus has narrowed to what I’m passionate about. Serving my family in the mission field where God has placed me – my home and encouraging other mamas who are there as well. Teaching my kids at home and supporting those who have made that decision. Living as sustainable a life as we can by growing, raising, and making things from and on our property.

It may seem like it’s not much different than before. And maybe it’s not. It’s just clearer in my mind now and I’m excited for it! Everyone is always welcome to come, read, think, engage, and contact me, whether you live this way or not! Maybe you’re wondering and dreaming of this life. Well, hopefully I can encourage you on!

Welcome. Or maybe I should say, welcome back! Let’s journey together!

While we’re on the subject of focusing our efforts, how are you focusing this Christmas season? Are you stopping? Are you breathing? Are you sitting still in the dark by your tree with lights on? I hope so!

We often think of Christmas as the time when a sweet baby was born, angels sang, shepherds stared in awe, and wise men brought presents. This year I’ve been thinking a lot about why. He came not to be a sweet baby, not to melt our hearts with his cuteness, not to receive gifts.

He came to be ridiculed for his ideas and teachings. He came to be tortured at the hands of the most experienced torturers. He came to be betrayed, forgotten, left, spit on, sneered at. And he came to die the worst death the Romans had ever invented, one saved for the worst of the worst.

He also came to overcome. Not necessarily earthly obstacles, but heavenly ones. He came to give you and me the opportunity to be in Paradise with him.

There’s focus for you! An unyielding spirit and focus no matter the consequences! Jesus never wavered. For you. For me. Because he loves us that much. His love was so great, his focus was set and secure. That’s focus!