Defining Ourselves

Sometimes the best revelations come when you’re talking with a good friend. Yesterday I was having a great conversation, just catching up with someone. Someone who has been on a giant life journey the last two years of rediscovering herself and who she is in Christ.

It’s been a beautiful journey to watch and be a part of. Sometimes she allows me to be her sounding board and I feel privileged that I’ve gotten to be a part of it. It’s been painful, joy-filled, encouraging, and sometimes scary to watch as God rips open seams she’s sewn across her heart and fills those hurt places with His love, mercy, and grace.

I’ve watched her faith grow and mine has grown in the midst of it too. It’s always awe-inspiring to see God work. I often just stand shocked and then think, I shouldn’t be so shocked. My God is a big big God and nothing is impossible with Him. But, every time I’m shocked. I guess that’s part of what stirs and grows our faith in these things.

In the midst of a conversation about projects (which are never-ending around here), we started talking about being busy. It’s morphed in her life, and to be honest in mine as well. Being busy used to be a status symbol for her, it was what defined her. And I think most of us can relate to that. Our culture applauds busyness, rushing, hustle, adding another thing to our to-do list. Even our kids are many times defined by what they do. I still distinctly remember overhearing a woman talking on the phone and the person on the other line must have asked about her kids. Her response struck me as so typical and yet a little sad.

“Oh, we have a track runner, an artist, and a dancer.”

Her children were defined by their activities. I think many of us define ourselves with what we do. It’s hard to tell others about ourselves without sharing the busyness.

But what happens when we are only defined by our work, our activities, our progress in something?

One thing I’ve heard from my friend throughout her journey is that her work and how good she was at it was what defined her. So, if something didn’t go well at work, even if it wasn’t directly her fault, she took it as a personal hit. It became so important to do it all right that she became completely burned out and despondent.

Enter Jesus.

I won’t share her whole journey, that’s for her to share. But I will share what she’s learning, and what I’m learning as well. As she’s been on this journey I’ve been frequently convicted by her steps. In a good way. I’m seeing where I’ve been defined by the wrong things too.

We’re both learning that Jesus defines us. We are children of the One True God. We belong to His kingdom as princesses of the King. We are accepted by Jesus and not just accepted but adopted into His family as sisters. We have full access to an all powerful God. We are loved, no matter our pasts, no matter how many times we mess up, and no matter what others think of us.

I might have to digest these longer and break them down. What does each one mean for our lives? How does it make what we do different? How does it change us?

Often I see others praise and call out children around them for what they do, especially in Christian circles. They loudly praise and honor the sports kids are involved in. They want to know all about their practices and games.

What about the kids who don’t do sports? Are they less than? What if they are artists, comedians, Bible enthusiasts, book lovers, or animal whisperers? Do those activities matter less?

They do to that specific person because he or she is “into sports”. But those children certainly are less than. I think that as adults we need to be willing to see kids for their wonder of the world around them, their love for the Lord, their trusting faith, and their care and compassion of others, not what they do.

We need to be careful we aren’t putting certain people on pedestals because of a certain activity. Especially as adults. It’s our job to teach kids how they are defined and if we’re only praising those who do sports, we’re missing the mark by a long shot.

Let’s all practice defining ourselves and others by Jesus, not by the world’s standards!