A Livable Kitchen

I started a project a few weeks ago, and yes, it’s taken me that long to finish! I used to be so task oriented that once I started a project I couldn’t stop until I’d finished. But over the years, I’ve learned a few things.

One, kids don’t wait for projects to be finished before they get hungry. So, if I want 10 hangry children I should keep going, but if I want peace and sanity I better cook supper!

Two, people are more important than tasks. Some people are naturally people oriented. I see that gift in some of my kids and I thank God for it. My hubby has it too. But I don’t. Not naturally anyway. I’ve had to train myself over the years to put people before tasks. So, if you are task-oriented, there’s hope!!

Three, if I wait until I have enough time to complete a large project, it’ll never get done. I have to just start it and know it’ll have to be done in steps. Sometimes that’s really frustrating, but in the end the project still gets done. It just might take a little longer.

So, I decided to minimize my kitchen. I have been watching “The Minimal Mom” on YouTube and she has been so inspirational. I decided to give it a try. We did bedrooms first and I partially went through some other rooms in the house. The kitchen was daunting though so I kept putting it off. Finally, I just thought, if I don’t start this I’m going to regret it.

See, my ultimate goal is to get my house under control before summer so I can enjoy outside projects and gardening without coming inside to a disaster. And less stuff means less disaster. It just does.

So, here’s a photo gallery of what I did! I ended up with 4 big boxes to put in the garage sale and 4 bags of garbage!! How did that much stuff fit in my kitchen???!!!

Lest anyone think it’s actually done…

I did clean out the cupboards in this but my last project is to remove the mail from the kitchen. This has become a catch all and it drives me nuts! So, I plan to implement another of Dawn’s ideas in my office and hang clipboards in there for mail and ongoing paperwork and get it out of the kitchen. So, it’s a work in progress, but the progress I’ve made feels so good.

And, honestly, I’m still baffled at how four boxes and four bags of trash came out of those cupboards!!!

Here’s the links to the videos that inspired all this work. She has many more great ones too!

Miracles Still Happen

Our church has been in the midst of a series called Miracles. It never ceases to amaze me how often sermons line up exactly with what’s happening in my life. It probably shouldn’t surprise me, but I guess I forget how powerful and omniscient God is.

When my aunt Marianne called me and told me Oma was ailing and she wasn’t sure if Oma would make it through the night, I sort of froze. I felt so overwhelmed I didn’t know what to do. Talking with my sister didn’t really help because she felt the same way. Should we go to Germany? Do we really jump on a plane right now and travel to the other side of the world? Can we even make it in time?

Those were only the beginning of the questions and obstacles. For some reason Miriam and I felt so paralyzed and unsure of what to do. Thank the Lord for clear-headed husbands. Neither her hubby nor mine ever wavered in their decision. “You need to go. Don’t worry about us.” We both heard that numerous times before it finally sunk in and we knew we had to take a step towards getting to Germany.

I look back on all we had to push through and all the obstacles we had to overcome and it really was nothing short of a miracle that we made it at all. There were many ‘little’ miracles in a very short amount of time. First, can we even get tickets and a rental car in such short notice. Turned out we could. And because of our stress paralysis we actually saved over $800 on tickets! For some unexplainable reason tickets went from $1400 one day to $600 the next morning. Well, I guess I can explain it! It was obviously God opening a door.

Miriam couldn’t fly without all her diabetic pump supplies. They are always supposed to come next day and she hadn’t gotten a notification that they had been shipped. Thankfully somehow or another they showed up the afternoon before we were flying out.

A big miracle occurred when I started asking around for donated breast milk. Leaving a six month old nursing baby behind was just a bit of a stress for me. And because he has a sensitive tummy I didn’t want to put him on formula and then leave him to be miserable. A friend has just happened to have had a conversation with her pastor’s wife about her daughter and freezer full of breast milk she had just days before I put out the request. She was happy to donate a week’s worth of milk for Lukas, relieving this mama’s worry. I had offers of milk from all over the cities and even as far away as Colorado! Thank you, Jesus!

In the midst of anytime of life, it’s hard as a mom to just pick up and leave spontaneously. But in the middle of the school year, with classes, activities, swim lessons, art lessons, you name it, it’s just about impossible. And yet, somehow everything fell into place. My sister left her four and I left my ten. Our amazing husbands drove us to the airport in the wee hours of the morning, long before the sun was up or the kids were awake.

In every move, in every minute of those two days God was opening doors and removing obstacles. He was performing miracle after miracle so Miriam and I could travel thousands of miles to hold our Oma’s hand one last time, to kiss her once more, and to hear her say, “Hallo”. I am in awe everyday of what He accomplished for us. I am in awe of how much he cares for every minute detail of our lives.

Not least of all, was the miracle of making it to Germany in time. God kept my Oma on this earth just long enough for us to travel 29 hours to see her one more time. I still can’t quite believe it happened the way it did! God is so good!

There were more miracles while we were in Germany, too. God was repeatedly reminding us that He was right there with us and that He cared deeply for us and our situation. It amazes me how He is so intricately involved in every detail of our days.

We made it in time and then while we were there we got to be a part of planning Oma’s funeral. It was such a special time. Just Miriam, our two aunts, and myself. We spent most of one morning figuring out all the details of Oma’s funeral, from flowers to music to poems. It was so beautiful and the Lord orchestrated it all so perfectly.

We made it in time and then while we were there we got to be a part of planning Oma’s funeral. It was such a special time. Just Miriam, our two aunts, and myself. We spent most of one morning figuring out all the details of Oma’s funeral, from flowers to music to poems. It was so beautiful and the Lord orchestrated it all so perfectly.

There was a poem my Oma loved so we put it in the newspaper obituary. It speaks of an albatross and a rainbow. So we put a rainbow on the funeral card and the newspaper obituary. The day of her funeral was blustery, cloudy and cold. It kept threatening rain. We held the funeral in a beautiful building with floor to ceiling windows on three sides, right in the cemetary. Then the casket was brought right to the grave and we prayed. As each person walked to the grave and laid a flower on it or sprinkled holy water on it, I just stood by and cried and cried. Then just as the last person came forward, the skies opened. Rain started to pelt us, but I just couldn’t leave her side. It was so heart breaking to know another solid link between my life in the states and Germany was gone.

My cousin noticed a giant bird soaring silently round and round in circles right over our heads. He had been there the whole time we were standing there saying goodbye to Oma. It wasn’t an albatross, but a Red Kite. A beautiful, graceful bird.

Then, later, while we were having lunch, the sun broke through those dark clouds and filled the sky with the brightest, most vivid rainbow I’ve seen in a long time.

“I’m with you,” God was saying. “I’ve got your Oma. It’ll be okay. Trust me.”

God does care about you. He reminded me so vividly that week while I was in Germany. If you ever doubt it, ask him to show you. Then open your eyes and be ready for miracles. They still happen. He is real. He does care.

29 Hours, 1 Moment

I was just having a conversation with a friend last night about the Holy Spirit. We were talking about all the untapped power there is in our lives purely because we don’t fully grasp who He is. We sing of Resurrection Power, but do we really grasp the potential of that? I know I don’t. I have been trying, though, to be more in tune to His prompting and leading. I’m still a rookie at it and miss it more times than I catch it, but hey, I’m moving towards a closer relationship with Jesus, just with a lot of trips and bumps along the way.

Last week I experienced a closeness with God that I haven’t experienced in a long time. I heard the Holy Spirit’s prompting and did something about it. The end result was terrifying, crazy, difficult, and beautiful all at once. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

I have one side of my extended family in Germany. My mom grew up there and I was born there. We moved to the US when I was really little, leaving everything and everyone she knew behind. Sometimes I marvel at her courage. She barely spoke English. But that’s another story for another day.

We always remained close to our family there. My Oma (grandma) has been especially dear to me my whole life. You see, she saved me from an abusive day care and brought me home to live with her while my mom worked. My mom would come visit me on her days off. So a bond was formed between my Oma and me that was unlike any other. She has always held a precious spot in my heart. And I always cherished being able to visit her. I had always told Andrew, if she gets sick or passes, I have to go to Germany, no matter what.

Then I got the call I had always dreaded. My aunt called to let me know Oma was in the hospital and she didn’t know if Oma would make it through the night. Oh, my heart. I was a sobbing puddle on the floor and felt so paralyzed. In moments of clarity, we can say, “If this ever happens, then I have to do this.” But in the midst of heartbreak and sorrow, it’s hard to decide what we should really do.

But the Holy Spirit knew. God knew my sister and I needed to be by our Oma’s side. It’s amazing how the threat of death puts things in perspective, isn’t it. Suddenly the millions of things on the calendar didn’t matter as much as finding a way to Germany.

It’s still totally surreal. I can hardly believe what God did, even though I lived it. It’s hard to fully wrap my mind around the doors He opened, the signs He gave us, and the comfort and peace He lavished on us.

I can’t tell you all of it in one post…it’ll have to be a series. But I can tell you this. It took 29 hours to travel 4,400 miles. Three airplanes, two cars, one train, a nine hour overnight layover in London’s airport, driving on the Autobahn on two hours of sleep, pumping breastmilk in airport bathrooms, and leaving ten kids and one husband in the hands of friends and our church.

For what?

To stand by my Oma’s side. To hold her hand. To have her wake up, look at my sister and I and say, “Hallo”. To see the joy on her face knowing we were there. To hug my aunts and cousins and stand in strength with them as we faced something really hard.

I’ll never forget that moment. Ever.

I’ll never forget her face and her voice.

I’ll also never forget the overwhelming feeling of Jesus’ arms around me in that moment and His whisper, “You are right where you need to be.”

29 hours. It was exhausting, excruciating, and interminable. But I’d do it all over again for that one moment.

Always Winter, Never Spring

Logbook, Date: January 82nd.

Morale is low. Troops are suffering apathetic moods. Low motivation to accomplish anything but holding down a couch. Three months ago eyes were alight with wonder and excitement as the first snow fell. Now, even the thought of another flake of snow is enough to send some cowering under beds.

No one gets up on time anymore. Everyone rolls around in bed, hoping they accidentally slept until the end of April. Get dressed? Why bother.

Rations are completely boring and unappetizing. Everything seems the same, everything tastes the same. Hotdish, crockpot, pizza, hotdish, crockpot, pizza. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Some have resorted to skipping meals, I think, out of complete boredom.

Dreams consist of bright sunshine, warm dirt, worms, plants poking through the soil to catch the rays. Most have forgotten what the sunshine even feels like it’s been so long. I even dreamt of hanging clothes on the line the other night. What is wrong with me?!

Landscape appears to have smoothed itself into one interminable plain. There are no ditches, no hills, no valleys. Everywhere is just a large white plain. Or maybe a sea of frozen waves. If anymore snow falls, there will be no where to push it. We’ve gotten stuck in our own driveway three times in the last week. Our. Own. Driveway. It’s like winter is saying, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS! (Not even out of your own driveway.)”

People used to look out and say, “oh, isn’t it pretty?” Now they scream, “For the love of everything, STOP SNOWING!”

You know it’s bad when the winter festival in the town nearby has been cancelled…because of winter. I can’t even…

Ah, but in the midst of the longest season of the year, God is near. Did you know that? I was reminded of that yesterday by my son. He asked me why I was so grumpy at everyone. Stop. Heart check.

Why am I being so grumpy? Honestly, it’s because of this weather. It’s because of the monotony. It’s because I’ve never liked winter and I really just survive it. The handbook for Reasons to Live in Minnesota has only one word: Family. (There are other great things about our state, but no one can think of them on January 82nd.)

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I spent the day adjusting my low mood and thinking about it. I prayed about it too.

Then, true to His goodness, God reminded me of these two verses:

Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Genesis 8:22 While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease.

Hang on, dear friends!! Renew your strength in the Lord and remember spring is coming! I just might have to renew my strength multiple times a day right now so that I don’t grow weary and faint. But, we can do it! Hold on to His promise that the summer will always come!

Sorry ahead of time to anyone who comes over… this walk has been shoveled and shoveled… even the UPS driver didn’t come up it. He just left the package in the snow at the end of it. I mean, who can blame the guy.

Avalanche

Ever have a snowball effect?

We’ve been here 3 1/2 years now and the projects haven’t seemed to diminish. Some have been going on that long…

Like this one. When we moved in the basement was wet. I mean, really wet. And moldy. Just gross. We didn’t want to store anything down there. It was basically a whole lot of unusable space. But, we wanted to be able to use it. So we started waterproofing it. And by we I mean Andrew.

Because our water table is so high it’s moist down there for about 11 months of the year. Only in February, when the ground has frozen pretty much through to the molten lava, does it dry up down there. So, every winter we get as much waterproofing done as we can. It probably could have been done in one winter, but, well, life happens.

So, here we are, on winter number four, hoping to finish it up. And so begins the snowball. “Let’s clean out the last half of the basement to waterproof it.”

Seems simple enough. Except to clean it out means to move stuff to the other side of the basement. Yep, no big deal.

Except a couple months ago I went through the tubs of shoes I had stuffed in the attic and matched them up and laid them out in size order.

So, now they take up half the floor space on the other side of the basement. I’ve been thinking for a while about how to store these. Tubs just weren’t working. We couldn’t find the match, or we’d forget to look through and go buy new shoes. I wanted to actually make use of all these shoes for the younger kids, especially as farm shoes so they didn’t get their good ones totally trashed.

Okay, let’s put the shoes on shelving. Great. What shelving? Well, there’s all this shelving up already. It’s just covered in jars and jars of applesauce because we had a bumper crop this fall and I made applesauce until I thought I’d never want to smell or see or taste applesauce again…

Guess where I wanted all that applesauce stored? You guessed it, in the cold cellar…where I needed shelves.

The other half of the other side of the basement has been filling up with bags and boxes and bags and boxes. No, I’m not a hoarder! We’ve been collecting donations so the kids can have a garage sale and raise money for their mission trips this summer. We’ve been so blessed by so many who have brought over donations! But they have to store somewhere until this winter ends. (Will it end?)

I have to sort through all this and get it priced too, mind you. And there’s no room with the shoes spread everywhere. You can even see the edge of the shoe store in the corner of this photo! I’m telling you…snowball turning into an avalanche.

If anyone knows me, you know how orderly I am. I’m the epitome of a type A. Keep it neat. Put it away. Don’t keep too much stuff. This is about killing me!!!

So, in order to waterproof the basement, things need to be moved to this half that is already waterproofed. In order to moved things in here, garage sale stuff needs to be gone through and organized and some of it needs to be moved to the shed. In order to go through the garage sale stuff the shoes need to be moved. In order to moved the shoes the applesauce needs to move. In order to move the applesauce I need shelves.

Yep, the shelves I’ve been wanting since the beginning of time (okay, just since we moved in)!

Enter my awesome hubby who didn’t want to do anything today…

Guess what that is???

THOSE ARE MY SHELVES GOING IN MY COLD CELLAR!!!!

I might be just a little excited. As I type I can hear the drill going! Woohoo!

The avalanche is still blasting down the hill at full speed, but at least there’s an amazing man with a solution at hand!

Isn’t homesteading fun?!

One of those days…

January 8th.

It’s just another day for many. Just another frigid, blustery winter day in Minnesota.

But, for me, it’s not just another day. And I know many of you have one of those days, where it’s not just another day in your history.

Today, seventeen years ago (I can’t believe it’s been that long!) my life changed drastically.

I still remember having lunch with my sister and a good friend and getting a phone call. “The doctor said you should probably come to the hospital,” my dad said shakily.

“Now?” I asked.

“Eat your lunch, then come. It should be fine,” he replied.

I could barely eat. I remember fighting tears through lunch, my stomach in knots. I’m sure my sister felt the same way. I remember vividly our friend, with tears streaming down her face, saying, “you girls are so strong.” I didn’t feel strong.

I felt like my world was crumbling around me. My footing felt shaky and uncertain. My future seemed dark. I didn’t want to go to the hospital. I didn’t want to face it, yet, I wanted to get there faster than my van could go. I wanted to just be there by her side, holding her hand. I wanted to talk to her and have her smile at me again.

By the time my sister and I, with twin 5 month old babies in tow, made our way to the cities and got to the hospital, I was panicky. How was I supposed to face life without her. How was I going to raise two boys without her help and advice, without her strong, steady hands to cuddle them and lead me.

We ran into some friends in the hall of the hospital. They were crying and kept saying, “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry” and hugging us. For some reason it didn’t register. I wonder at that sometimes. How did I not clue in? Denial, maybe. She was so strong, so confident, so steady. I guess I was sure in my heart she was going to fight and win this side of heaven. So, I hugged them, but I was confused.

On we walked. Hospital hallways are the longest pathways in life, I think. They seem to go on for eternity when all you want to do is get to your loved one.

We walked in to the ICU, where nurses met us and took the babies. “We’ll play with them a little while.” They all had tears in their eyes too. Still, it didn’t register. I thought it was odd, but kind of them.

Then, in we walked. In to the most depressed, down-trodden faces I’ve ever encountered. My dad, my grandma, my husband. All just standing in her room. When they all turned and looked at Miriam and I, it was as though the final bricks came tumbling down.

“She’s gone,” my grandma whispered.

Screaming.
Sobbing.
Knees hitting the floor.
Arms wrapping around my sister and I.
Sobbing, sobbing, sobbing.
Yelling NO! over and over.

“It’s okay. It’s going to be okay,” whispered in our ears.

“I’m so sorry,” repeated to us.

Seventeen years is a long time. And yet, when this day comes around, I’m transported back and everything is so vivid as if it happened yesterday. I can even remember the way the afternoon light was coming through her hospital room window. I can remember the sorrowful faces. I still hear our cries. It’s amazing how a moment can become so etched in your mind, forever searing itself in your memory, and brought to life so clearly after so much time.

Sometimes I am still in awe that I lost my mom all that time ago. There’s still part of me that finds it hard to believe. Most days I can say it without a catch in my voice and a tear in my eye. But some days, like today, it’s more painful than usual.

You see, she wasn’t just anybody. I know, I could say she was amazing. She was the best mom. She was the best friend. And she was all those. But there aren’t quite words to tell you accurately what she was like. If you knew her, you get it. She was extraordinary. But she thought she was ordinary. She was unassuming and humble, yet if you look at her life, she was so unbelievably wonderful. And she really was the best friend I ever had.

And I still miss her. Every. Single. Day. That won’t ever go away, I suppose. And that’s okay. I don’t want to forget her or stop missing her. I want her to live on in my mind and life because she deserves that.

It’s not all sad, you know. She knew Jesus in this life and so there is this great, unshaking hope in the midst of the pain. What I sometimes find amazing is the very friend we were having lunch with when my mom was dying was the very friend who led my mom to Jesus. God is like that, isn’t He? So perfect in His timing and placing of people in our lives.

I know my mom was healed in that moment from an awful cancer and she went to dance with Jesus. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt she’s praising Jesus in heaven and I’ll get to see her again.

In that moment, when she died and my grandma said, “it’ll be okay” I didn’t believe her. How could it possibly be okay?

But, you know what? It is okay. It’s more than okay. It’s wonderful. Life is strange and hard and painful, but it’s also good and amazing and surprising. God has given me an amazing family to do this life with! I couldn’t be more blessed with who He’s filled my life with. He didn’t leave me alone in that moment and He has never left me alone since and I’m so thankful.

In the midst of pain and sorrow, there is always joy and hope. Always. Especially if we know Jesus.

A New Year, A New Challenge

Well, it’s been a while! My, oh my, the Christmas season is busy! No matter how you slice it, this time of year rushes by so quickly. We’ve been intentional the last few years about having one full day for just our family. Otherwise, we find that our family time gets squished in here and there and there’s no joy in it.

I remember years where we would rush the kids to open their gifts from us so we could get out the door to the next Christmas get together. They’d have to rip off the wrapping, look at their gift, and then set it aside. No time to play or enjoy it. I really didn’t like that and I know they didn’t either.

It’s not always the same day in the Christmas season but we make sure there is one. This year it was Christmas eve. We had the whole day to spend together! I loved it. For the extrovert teenager it was painful :). Oh, to have to spend a whole day with just my family! How awful!

I take it in stride though. I remember those years where I wanted to be with friends, not family and I came back around to a healthier balance. I know he loves us and he did have fun after all.

We played games, went to a movie, opened gifts and then enjoyed them and had time to play with them. Then in the evening I set the table with a red and white snowflake tablecloth, candles, and Christmas dishes. I made my Oma’s famous lasagna and we turned out the lights and ate by candle light. Sounds fancy and almost romantic, right?

Well, you have to remember there were 10 kids around the table! So, blowing lightly to see if the candles would flicker, spilled milk and water, whining about what was served, hopping up and down from their seats, and general chaos was involved. But for a moment, it was beautiful. Andrew and I glanced at each other in the midst of it and the look said, this is good, this is beautiful, this is right. (Of course, the chaos didn’t allow me to even think for a moment about snapping a photo of it!)

Whatever your Christmas brought you, I hope you found a moment of peace, a moment of pure joy, in the Christmas season. I hope that, as our pastor shared, you were surprised anew by the reason we celebrate. Even in the midst of busyness, chaos, or even pain, Jesus can break through and give us that moment of peace. He can give us the reminder that it is good.

As usher in a new year, my hope and prayer is to seek more of that peace and goodness from Jesus. I am challenging myself this year to look more at Him and less at the world around me. I am challenging myself to dig more into His Word and Truth and find my contentment there. I extend that challenge to you as well!

We are going to begin a year long chronological Bible reading with lots of other believers! I’m so excited to have a plan to really get into the Word everyday. I know I’ll have days I fail but I’m determined to jump back on the wagon anytime I fall off. Come along for the ride! Everyone is welcome!

Go over to my friend Becca’s blog, http://www.joyfullybecca.com and read her latest blog about this Bible reading! It’s going to be a great journey!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

Be the Wrecking Ball

A couple weeks ago I was having a little pity party. You know those traps and lies we fall into? Well, I fell into one.

I started believing that my friends weren’t really my friends. I started taking little incidents that meant nothing and making them into something. You know what I’m talking about…those thoughts of, “she said this and this. It really meant she doesn’t like me.” The thought of, “She hasn’t called or texted me for this long. It means she doesn’t really like me and only responds when I text so I don’t feel too bad.” The thought of, “I never get invited to anything. People are always forgetting about me. If I didn’t make the plans to get together no one would ever get together with me.”

Maybe I’m the only one that thinks these thoughts.

Probably not. But never the less I was in that place and I was pretty down. I knew in my rational mind that it all wasn’t true, but my heart wanted to believe the lies. So I fell for it.

Then the Lord showed up. He showed up big time. Right in the middle of my despondency he reminded me that I am, in fact, loved. I’m so glad I have a God who is alive and knows me down to my deepest lies. And I’m so glad He doesn’t leave me in those lies.

First, I received some thank you notes. One from one of my kids telling me I was a “really good parent”. One was from my hubby, short and sweet, saying words can’t even express how thankful he is for me. And one was from a friend who told me she was so thankful for me and our friendship over the years. Just three little thank you cards. Maybe to those three people it didn’t seem like too big of a deal. It was just a quick little note.

To me, it was everything. It was like a wrecking ball to a brick wall as it broke through the lies I was believing. I cried over those notes as I read them. I thanked God for those three people. And I apologized to God for ever believing those lies.

Then, in the same week I had two invites from friends to do something with them. Again, may not seem like much, but to me it was a really big deal. I was again reminded by God that I am loved. I am loved so much by Him that He put people in my life to reach out to me when I need it. They may not even know that I needed it that week, but He knew. And He moved their hearts to think of me. That’s the kind of God I serve!

Lately I haven’t been able to be in church. Even when I’m there I’m not really there. Having a very bouncy, noisy, baby boy causes me to often be out of the worship center keeping him happy. It’s just that season of life. It’s okay, but often that’s where the Lord breaks through sins in my life and I was feeling a little distant from Him. But again, He’s so good to meet me wherever I’m at. He isn’t a god trapped by the four walls of a church building. He can work wherever I am. Again, I’m so thankful for my God, who knows what I need, when I need it, where I need it. He always shows up, and He always brings me back to the truth.

This experience was also a good reminder to me that when I’m thinking about someone I should call them up or text them. I should invite them to do something. Because maybe, just maybe, they are in that place I was and need a reminder that they are loved.

So, if someone is on your heart, make a move. You might just be that wrecking ball to their brick wall.

Lessons from my kids

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It’s one of those years. A lean year. A year where it seems more money has gone out than come in. And now Christmas is upon us. I love this time of year, but thinking of buying all those gifts has me stressed out this year. I don’t want to just use a credit card and hope to pay it off later. That won’t alleviate the stress, even if it gives one day of happiness.

We mentioned to our kids that it would be a light year for presents. They get it. They know the season isn’t just about presents anyway. We’ve taught them the true meaning of Christmas and will continue to do so. But presents are a lot of fun. I get it! My love language is giving and receiving gifts, so it’s painful for me not to buy gifts for everyone around me. I have ideas circling constantly in my head about what I could give this child or that friend and I have to restrain myself because the bank account says so.

When we told our kids they’d each get one small gift this year the first response from my two oldest was, “just take money from my account, Mom. You can take whatever you need.” I got so choked up by that. Their very first, matter-of-fact response was to be generous and give away what they had to make someone else happy! I got all teary and just wanted to hug them for their sweet hearts. Of course, I’m not taking money from my kids. They work hard for that and it’s theirs, but their willingness to be giving spoke volumes to me.

Instead, I decided to start making barn wood signs to make a little extra money so we could afford some gifts for Christmas. When I shared that with my kids my ten year olds jumped on it right away! “We’re going to help! We want to make signs too!” And there they were, right beside me on my work bench designing their own signs to sell. They’ve also been making art work to sell too! It’s the most endearing thing to watch them all get on board and work together. They have had such cheerful hearts about the whole situation.

Then the other evening one of my boys said, “I’m going to be a little late coming home after work tonight.” When we asked why he mentioned he was going to Target to buy us Christmas gifts. I couldn’t believe it. He was so excited to go buy his mom and dad something. He had the biggest grin on his face and was proud that he could do that! I again got teary.

My kids aren’t perfect and I’m not trying to tout them as such. I am just so blown away by who they are at their cores. I am not a great mom. I yell, I get angry too often. I am impatient and frustrated a lot of the time. And yet, somehow, these kids are doing okay. Not okay…amazing! They have the most generous hearts and a willingness to go above and beyond that has convicted me.

The lessons I learn from my kids sometimes surprise me. It surprises me because I didn’t teach them that. I didn’t teach my kids to be generous, at least not intentionally. I’ve tried to teach them to share and be kind. But I haven’t ever thought through, “I want my kids to be generous so we are going to do …. to get them there.” I have to give credit to the Lord. He’s the one who is instilling these amazing traits in my kids. And, through them, teaching me some good life lessons!

 

 

 

If anyone is interested in barn wood signs (made with authentic ancient barn wood from right here on our property) or art work I’ll be at the Artisan Show at the VFW in Faribault this coming Saturday. I’ll also take custom orders!

Community…we all need it

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I recently attended a women’s bible study at church. The first day, one of the questions was, what do you want to get from this study? Everyone around the table expressed their desire for community. Most of us at the table were introverts, yet the most important thing we all needed was connection to others. The answers sounded a little different but they all pointed to one thing. Community.

I’ve been thinking a lot about community and what it really means lately. It has changed drastically over the years, of course, as many things have. Community used to mean a group of people living near each other, helping each other, doing life together. People relied on those nearest them and it often meant relying on family because those were the people living on the farms next door.

Now, many think of community as the people they have met over the years and keep in touch with on Facebook. Even if they live states apart or on different continents they may think of those people as part of their community.

Some think of community as something totally different. Maybe they live miles away from family and their church has become their community they rely on. While the times have changed and community looks differently, I’ve discovered the need for it hasn’t. We all need community, true community. We all need to feel a part of a group and be able to rely on people around us. And,  I think we all want to give back to people too. I know I do.

Today we had to butcher 100 chickens. It wasn’t exactly my plan. Over the summer we had a batch of birds but many died so we ended up without enough to feed our family so shortly before the baby was born I ordered 100 more. What could possibly go wrong?? (Don’t ever ask that question!)

By the time they were big enough to be butchered the meat markets in the area were done butchering for the season so it fell on us to butcher. I was dreading it. I was loathing the idea.

About a month ago we had dinner with a group of people with some of the same interests in homesteading as we do. It was fun night and during conversation we mentioned these birds we had to deal with. It’s so funny…there are plenty of groups of people where mentioning butchering would be met with cringes and grimaces. Not this group! Eyes lit up, people sat forward. Oh yeah? You have to butcher you say?! I’d love to do that! What a weird thing to be excited about!

Today, as that same group of people came out to our house in 5 degree weather sporting Carhartts, boots, and hats (and looking quite fashionable I might add), I realized what community is. It looks like that. Just like that! It looks like one family having a need and other families stepping in willingly and cheerfully to fill that need. It’s not asking for anything in return but company and the knowledge that when they have a need it’ll be filled.

All week I was dreading this butchering. I knew it was going to be frigid out. I knew we were going to have problems. I knew something wouldn’t work right. I was literally anxious all week.

I lifted those anxious thoughts up to the Lord all week and asked Him to bless the work of our hands.

And you know what? He answered every prayer. Not one thing went wrong. He even went above and beyond and let the sun shine right on our space. He gave Andrew the wisdom to make a warm tent and He even had the foresight to give us a heated space in the barn three years ago when we moved in. And the best of all? He gave us a group of homesteaders who were eager and willing to help! There was laughter, smiles, good conversation and lots of productivity!

To top it off and add blessing on top of blessing, we were done in record time! Less than two hours and we were done with 100 birds!

I don’t mind Facebook to keep in touch. I like to see what everyone’s up to. But it’s not really community. What we experienced today was real community and I loved it! Thanks, homesteading friends! I guess we need a name for our club!! 🙂

 

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