A couple weeks ago I was having a little pity party. You know those traps and lies we fall into? Well, I fell into one.
I started believing that my friends weren’t really my friends. I started taking little incidents that meant nothing and making them into something. You know what I’m talking about…those thoughts of, “she said this and this. It really meant she doesn’t like me.” The thought of, “She hasn’t called or texted me for this long. It means she doesn’t really like me and only responds when I text so I don’t feel too bad.” The thought of, “I never get invited to anything. People are always forgetting about me. If I didn’t make the plans to get together no one would ever get together with me.”
Maybe I’m the only one that thinks these thoughts.
Probably not. But never the less I was in that place and I was pretty down. I knew in my rational mind that it all wasn’t true, but my heart wanted to believe the lies. So I fell for it.
Then the Lord showed up. He showed up big time. Right in the middle of my despondency he reminded me that I am, in fact, loved. I’m so glad I have a God who is alive and knows me down to my deepest lies. And I’m so glad He doesn’t leave me in those lies.
First, I received some thank you notes. One from one of my kids telling me I was a “really good parent”. One was from my hubby, short and sweet, saying words can’t even express how thankful he is for me. And one was from a friend who told me she was so thankful for me and our friendship over the years. Just three little thank you cards. Maybe to those three people it didn’t seem like too big of a deal. It was just a quick little note.
To me, it was everything. It was like a wrecking ball to a brick wall as it broke through the lies I was believing. I cried over those notes as I read them. I thanked God for those three people. And I apologized to God for ever believing those lies.
Then, in the same week I had two invites from friends to do something with them. Again, may not seem like much, but to me it was a really big deal. I was again reminded by God that I am loved. I am loved so much by Him that He put people in my life to reach out to me when I need it. They may not even know that I needed it that week, but He knew. And He moved their hearts to think of me. That’s the kind of God I serve!
Lately I haven’t been able to be in church. Even when I’m there I’m not really there. Having a very bouncy, noisy, baby boy causes me to often be out of the worship center keeping him happy. It’s just that season of life. It’s okay, but often that’s where the Lord breaks through sins in my life and I was feeling a little distant from Him. But again, He’s so good to meet me wherever I’m at. He isn’t a god trapped by the four walls of a church building. He can work wherever I am. Again, I’m so thankful for my God, who knows what I need, when I need it, where I need it. He always shows up, and He always brings me back to the truth.
This experience was also a good reminder to me that when I’m thinking about someone I should call them up or text them. I should invite them to do something. Because maybe, just maybe, they are in that place I was and need a reminder that they are loved.
So, if someone is on your heart, make a move. You might just be that wrecking ball to their brick wall.