desiredhavenfarm

Overwhelmed

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? People ask me frequently, “how do you do it all?” Or they’ll say, “I have no idea how you do what you do!”

Well, I am human! Shocking I know. But I feel overwhelmed quite frequently. I think I hide it. Probably because my mom hid it and her mom hid it. I don’t really remember my mom ever asking for help, even when she was battling cancer. I remember wanting to comfort her and care for her and it ended up being the other way around!

That strength is something to be admired. But that strength can become a weakness all too quickly.

Five years ago I brought my family to Germany for a month stay. We stayed with my Oma. At the time she was 87. My Opa had already been gone for a number of years and she had been living very independently.

The kids and I had a game we played at each meal time. We called it “Race the Oma!” Our goal was to beat her into the kitchen and do dishes before her. She didn’t know we played this game, but she wouldn’t accept our help if we offered so we decided to take matters into our own hands.

It was a fun game and turned a chore into something enjoyable. We beat her about half the time! For an 87 year old woman she was quick!

At the end of our stay she hugged me and said, “I’m so glad you came. But this was a bit too much for me!”

I have thought a lot about that comment. For five years I’ve thought about it. I think part of it is that she was used to a quiet house and her own routine. But a large part of it being too much for her was the fact that she thought she had to do it all herself. Had she accepted more help and just let us do things for her, she probably wouldn’t have felt so overwhelmed.

And here I am, feeling overwhelmed. Ha! The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it?!

I can finally admit in my life that I have a hard time asking for help. I like to be independent. At least I can admit it! Next step, actually ask for help!

As I contemplate this, I wonder, What am I teaching my kids? I already see in a couple of them an unwillingness to ask for help. Just like so many traits, our kids learn them from watching us. Thank the Lord there is grace for this! We can’t possibly stop every bad trait from being passed down. But when we do recognize one, we can work on it and try to do better than we were.

I’ve fallen behind on giving you all the memory verses but I hope you are still working on them! Or picking your own! Here’s last week’s and this week.

“Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?
Luke 6:46

The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry. The face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
Psalm 34:15‭-‬16 ESV

These have made me think a lot about my feeling overwhelmed. All the lists, all the things. But in reality God asks us to be obedient to what He wants us to do. His request is simple, trust Him, use your days to glorify Him, do what He wants. Well, it sounds simple. Harder to actually execute!

Andrew cut while I directed. We’re a pretty good team.

We all have the same amount of hours in each day. I don’t have to feel overwhelmed. I just have to ask Jesus what He wants me to do with my time.

Yesterday we had a couple projects on the list. We only got one done but it was a big one. And, bonus, we got to be outside all day!

We finished pruning the entire fruit orchard! Lots of work! But it looks great. Unfortunately I found my tart cherry tree is dying. I teared up a bit at that. I loved that tree. But it gives me a new experience to try – rooting some cuttings from the tree to grow new cherry trees!

These kiddos are great workers with cheerful hearts. They decided their stick pile was a beaver dam!

We felt really good just doing what the Lord wanted us to. Spend time as a family and work this property he has given us.

Great helper! Apparently we haven’t adjusted our eyes to the sun yet!

I hope if you are feeling overwhelmed, you’ll pause and ask the Lord what He wants you to do with your day and your life. You don’t have to feel lost and jump from thing to thing. Just pause, ask, sit at his feet, find out how He wants you to use your time.

Is It Here?

Spring, I mean. Is it real? If you lived in Minnesota for any amount of time, you know to question this kind of weather in March! If we know anything, we know March is deceitful. They say March is “In like a lion, out like a lamb” and vise versa. But sometimes it’s just a cute quiet little lamb or so we think. Turns out it was just a wolf in sheep’s clothing the whole time! Then April comes, exposing the lie with cold, freezing rain, snow, and blustery wind.

But, right now, on a day like this, is hard to imagine it’ll go cold again. The sun feels warm on your skin, you can see grass (even if it is brown), birds are chirping, and even the breeze feels warm. I’ll take it.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about our days. We look forward to spring, planting the garden, seeing flowers come up, taking walks again. We are always looking ahead. But really, we aren’t guaranteed the days ahead. We only truly have today.

Am I living today for all is worth? Am I glorifying God in my actions today? Feeling overwhelmed and stressed with the spring project list? Getting frustrated with the kids who can’t figure out math? Answering texts instead of listening to my kids?

I have to remind myself I can’t get it all done today. I just can’t. And I have to remind myself that’s ok. I like to check boxes and see a to do list crossed off. There’s just all these little people keeping me from checking any boxes!

And yet, God is reminding me even as I write, that these little people should be at the top of my list! These little people are the only eternal work.

As the spring project list looms and I feel buried by it, I need to remember I only have today and I have a lot of important work to do with my kids. If the apple trees don’t get pruned, it’s ok. If the basement doesn’t get cleaned, it’s ok, if the laundry piles up, it’s ok. (I’m saying this on repeat to myself all day today. )

If you have a hard time, like me, keeping yourself from worrying about the to do list, take a deep breath with me, go outside, listen to the birds, feel the sun, and enjoy. Remember those birds never worry about what they are going to eat and they are always taken care of.

Here are some gorgeous wild flowers my aunt took photos of in Germany to get you by until ours start peeking through! These flowers never worry about what they will wear and, yet, are clothed more beautifully than any of us could ever be.

So, don’t worry. Don’t even worry if this is real spring or The Spring of Deception. Your Father in Heaven cares deeply for you and knows your worries. He also knows best and only wants good for you.

Cast all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Impromptu Getaway

“I just need a change of scenery, need to do something different,” I stated to a friend.

“Me too,” she replied.

We both were feeling the weight of winter, the doldrums of cold and darkness and more cold. The kids were too cooped up and going stir crazy, making mom go crazy.

She’s the kind of friend I can tell my struggles too and she gets it. She knows I get her too. And what I love about her is when I told her this, she was like, well, let’s go somewhere.

A little while later, we were online finding a VRBO not too far away that would fit our two families. I’ve never pulled off a vacation that quickly. We tend to be planners, not spontaneous, jump in the car and go kind of people. It was fun just to plan something that fast and have something different to do.

Andrew took a couple days vacation, I canceled everything on the calendar, we threw clothes in bags and ran to the grocery store.

Two days later we were driving through a snow storm! A drive that should have taken 2 1/2 hours, took four through blinding snow and unplowed roads. But we made it.

We found a cabin nestled in the Mississippi River bluffs in the middle of nowhere Iowa. Didn’t really matter where we went, just that we went. But it was beautiful! And it was priceless to be with family and friends!

We did nothing and it was glorious! We ate, played games, watched movies, and stayed inside by the fire for two days. Going on vacation can be stressful, going with other families can be a lot to navigate, but not with these people. We get each other. We’re comfortable just sitting together or doing our own thing. And, very importantly, our kids love each other. They played together the entire time without fights or issue and loved every minute together.

We had some amazing laughs too, playing charades. Laughing with friends is such good medicine!

When we were leaving, her daughter said to mine, “I don’t want to leave this place. And even more, I don’t want to leave you.”

I felt the same way.

Everyone needs people to do life with. This life isn’t easy. We need people who get us, who love us, who see our need and take action. We need people who will tell us the truth and hold us accountable. We need people who will walk alongside us in trouble and in joy.

If you don’t have people like that in your life, be those people to someone else. Pray God gives you those people and pray he shows you who he wants you to come alongside. You’ll never regret it!

Role Model

As a mom I want my kids to pursue their calling. I want my girls and boys to be able to do whatever it is that God calls them too. I don’t want there to be hindrances and obstacles. I don’t want others to stand in their way.

But, I also want them to hold tight to the Truth. I want them to hold tight to their convictions and the knowledge of right and wrong. I want my girls and boys to know who they are in Christ and what He calls them to.

I don’t ever want to see my kids accomplish something great at the expense of their morals, their faith, and their soul. I don’t want them to stomp on others to get ahead. I would hate to see them set aside what they know is good, true, right, pure, and honest.

I’m sure, at this point, you’re agreeing with me. But you may disagree as I continue…

So many in the past few months are pointing their girls to a certain “role model”. Look what she’s accomplished. Look how she broke the glass ceiling. “Put your shoes on, girls, their lots of glass on the ground.” You can be anything! See, Kamala did it! She paved the way for you.

I say, hold on. At what expense did she “make it to the top”? At who’s expense did she accomplish this supposed success? At the end of her days, when she stands before God, will she be able to stand? Will her actions here on earth condemn her?

I don’t claim to know Kamala’s heart or any others, but the claims against her and what I know she stands for are disturbing. I don’t want my girls to look to her at all as a role model. I don’t want my girls to think it’s ok to give themselves away to unavailable men. I would be heart broken if they supported the murdering of babies. I would never want them to condone rioting. The list goes on.

If my girls are stay at home moms, serving their families faithfully and quietly, I’ll be proud of them. If they become doctors, lawyers, or politicians, I’ll support them. If they work at Aldi or Culvers, or travel as a missionary, I’ll walk with them.

But there’s something so much more important than status and the worldly prestige that comes with position. There’s something hundreds of time more important than “breaking the glass ceiling” in a falling society.

The status of their souls.

I want my girls to look to the folks models in this world who have remained faithful to God, who have said no to status and prestige to save their souls. Thankfully there are some amazing women in our lives that I’ve purposely made relationships with for myself and for the benefit of my girls. I want my kids to look to those people and I desire that my girls ultimately look to Jesus as their role model.

These women in our lives are not perfect, but they are redeemed. They are not without fault but they are humble, willing to admit fault, willing to stand for what’s right at all costs.

You know who you are, ladies. You are my tribe and I thank you for speaking wisdom, love, faith, forgiveness, and humility. You are the women I can count on in times of trouble, the women who tell me when I’m wrong and love me through it, the women who lift me up when I’m knocked down, the women who love my children alongside me. You don’t have to be perfect, because ou constantly point my girls and I to the one who is.

If you want a role model for your girls, be that role model and surround yourselves with women who stand for the truth, for conviction, for purity, for faithfulness, for real love. Point your girls (and boys) to Jesus, the perfect role model.

He’ll never let you down, never forsake you, never show you the wrong path. He is the perfect role model for all of us!

And, because He is perfect, the memory verse this week reminds us of this perfect role model.

The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything.
Acts 17:24‭-‬25 ESV

Who wouldn’t want this God for a role model?!

How do you do it?

So many ask me, how do you do it?

I don’t think I do it any better than any other mom, really. I fall short plenty and in many areas!

But here’s a few things I’ve done that do help my sanity.

First, get rid of stuff. Lots of stuff. Stop having emotional attachments to things and throw them out. It might feel hard at first and it might even seem mean to get rid of your kid’s toys, but really you are helping everyone in your house. There’s so much baggage when you are attached to stuff and so much unnecessary guilt when you don’t want to clean out your kid’s excess. You will feel lighter and more free if you just remove it! Pack up 50% of the toys, get rid of the boxes you never unpacked from when you moved 5 years ago, clean out the cabinets of all those appliances you had good intentions with. And keep doing it. I probably go through my house a few times a year and haul stuff away to Goodwill. I think the junk reproduces when I’m not looking.

I have also greatly downsized my kids clothing. My kids have about 10 outfits and that’s it. And if we get new items, we pair down the old. My boys have baskets for their items and if their clothes don’t fit in the baskets we know there are too many items. So we hand them to someone else too bless them. My girls have dressers but the same thing applies. This helps immensely with laundry as well. My out of control laundry piles consist of about 6 loads. I used to have 15 loads in my out of control piles, when I didn’t get to it daily.

Second, my kids have to help. They do a lot! After each meal two kids have to clean up the kitchen and two have to clean the dining room. My kids take turns being my kitchen helper, helping me cook so they learn how to do it too. They clean house every Saturday morning – I honestly hardly help. They each have a zone in the house they have to pick up if I say, “Zones!” They have to keep their rooms in order, do their own laundry once they are 8, and take care of all the animals. Every child from about age 2 can do something around the house. At first it might feel like it takes more time to have them help, but trust me, in the long run, you’ll be glad you took that time.

David despises chores! I only got him to smile by telling him I needed to see that grumpy face.

Third, I take time for myself. Not a lot, but I try to make sure I get a little. The most important thing I do for myself is read God’s Word. I wish I could say I do it daily but it doesn’t always happen. I do try to fit it in everyday though. That’s my goal. It doesn’t matter what I read in the Word l, if I’ve read that day I can tell a difference. I have a better attitude if I’ve read and, in turn, my kids have a better attitude, and, in turn, our day goes better. I may not even remember what I read, but that connection with the Lord really makes a difference.

This is what’s happening during my “quiet time” – massive wrestling match!

I also try to work out a few times a week. This really helps my mood and helps me get back in shape after baby Dottie! It’s not easy to fit it in, but it’s worth it. I just do 20 minute workouts so they don’t take that much time. My kids even like to join in!

Another thing I try to do for myself is create. I love to paint, make boards, crochet. Sometimes I get 5 minutes to work on my latest blanket. Sometimes I get to go to a ladies art night and spend a couple hours painting.

I used to be an all-or- nothing kind of person. Like if I couldn’t do the project from start to finish I wouldn’t start. But if eleven kids had taught me anything is to fit it in where and when I can! And if it doesn’t get finished, I can come back to it. I’d still prefer to finish it all at once, but I’ve learned to give that up, a little bit.

Give yourself grace and lots of it! His mercies are new every morning so try again tomorrow if it didn’t go so well today. I can get so down in myself for not getting my workout in or my Bible reading done, or for not having a perfectly decorated house (I know, dumb). But He has asked me to care for, mold, and shape these children so that’s where my focus needs to be. It’s not easy, but it is good!

Adventure on the farm

Did you know the pipe from your house to your septic can come disconnected?

Yeah, me either. Until today.

It’s been an adventure, let me tell you! A week and a half ago, our pipes backed up so a plumber came and cleared them, so we thought. It was fine until yesterday morning, when once again water was fountaining into our basement. (Is that a word? It is now.)

Andrew and a friend tried clearing it yesterday, because, let’s face it, who wants to keep paying the plumber. No luck.

Today, the plumber came back and scoped the pipe. Turns out it disconnected from the tank so it’s creating its own blockage. Super fun!

Today they get to dig a big hole in our frozen yard and reconnect everything, along with regrading and backfilling. We’ve been so so thankful that we have the apartment to go to the bathroom in. Whoever decided to put two separate tanks in was a genius!

It’s amazing how quickly not having water can throw everything off. I feel all out of sorts and my routine is totally thrown off. The laundry is piling up in mountainous heaps.

It made me think how blessed we really are. People all over the world don’t have indoor plumbing or even clean water. Here I just have to put a coat on and walk 100 feet to the next bathroom.

You never want to see a sign like this with 11 people in the house!

Pretty much everyone I know has commented about 2020. How horrible it was, how frustrating the slightly empty shelves in the grocery stores were. Everyone wanted 2020 to be over.

But in reality, we still had everything we needed. We still had food everyday, a warm house, cars that ran, and running water. We need to focus on our blessings and on the one who gave it all to us!

The Lord has never failed to provide and he won’t stop now. Even as I face an expensive repair bill that I don’t know how we’ll pay, I do know the God who knows. He loves each one of us more than we can know, enough to send His Son to die on a cross for us.

And because our God is good and perfect, the memory verse for this week once again did perfectly. He gives life, breath, and everything! Everything! Even the money to fix the septic.

I hope this week you have your trust and confidence in the One who made the world and everything in it. He will not fail you!

National Spouse Day

Well, apparently today is National Spouse Day. A day to remember that significant other in your life. Who knew? I kind of thought that was what Valentines Day was for, but whatever.

I do think, though, that we all too often take for granted that person by our side. I know I do. Andrew is such a steady, easy going guy that I take for granted he’ll always just be that steady, easy going guy by my side.

But when I do for a moment to think about it, I realize how blessed I am. God knew I needed, not just someone, but Andrew. That very someone. I needed and still need that steadiness and easy going manner in my life to look up to. God knew my tumultuous thoughts and sometimes impulsive actions needed to be tempered. And he knew just who to give me.

Sometimes I think about every little detail that had to be worked out in order for Andrew and I to meet. My mom could have chosen to stay in Germany after she had me instead of marrying this American and moving to a country she’d only read about in school, barely able to speak the language. They could have ended up anywhere in the country because of the airforce. I could have had a different best friend who didn’t have an older brother who happened to be best friends with Andrew. On and on the list goes.

But God.

He orchestrates our lives perfectly, even when it doesn’t seem good or right or easy. He knows what we need best. Way better than we know.

Our memory verse this week speaks perfectly to this:

Ah, Lord God ! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.
Jeremiah 32:17

Nothing is too hard for God. Do you believe that? Do you rest in the knowledge that he has created everything, including you. He knows you well, loves you lavishly, and has your life in His hands.

Today, I’m thankful for the amazing man God put by my side in this crazy life and for my Creator God, for whom nothing is too hard!

A Strong Tower

Happy heavenly birthday to my mom today! She would have turned 63 today.

I remember when I was 9 and she was turning 30. I can still clearly remember looking at her and thinking 30 is sooooo old. Funny what you remember from childhood.

Now, of course, at 41 I realize how young 30 is, and even 63 seems so young to me. Especially when my mom has been gone 19 years now. Just doesn’t seem possible.

Another thing I remember so well from my childhood was my mom’s love for Jesus. She really loved him. And she knew beyond the shadow of a doubt he loved her and that she was going to heaven when she died.

We don’t know how many days we have on this earth. My mom was just about to turn 44 when she went home to Jesus. I still say that’s too young to die, and yet, God has our days numbered before we are even born. Think about that! You can try to hide away from death, but we will all die eventually. Our days were ordained from the beginning.

Are you afraid of death? Do you know where you are going?

Your days are numbered by God. A God who is much much bigger than death. A God who defeated death and continues to do so. My mom lived her life each day to the fullest and I know she’d be doing so now if she were here. She knew who she belonged to and wasn’t afraid.

How, you might ask, could she be so sure? Because she was righteous. What does it mean to be righteous? To do enough right? To be good enough by doing more good than bad in your life? To try to be more kind than not?

No, we can only be righteous in one way. By trusting wholly in the name of Jesus and what he did for us on the cross. We can’t do enough or be enough to be called righteous but thankfully, and my mom knew this, Jesus is enough and did enough for us.

What a comforting thought! We just have to trust. No more striving, no more worrying. We are made righteous through Jesus and have a secure place in heaven because of him.

This week’s memory verse is again so applicable and perfect! God works like that, doesn’t he?

Proverbs 18:10 The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.

My mom was righteous, she ran into the name of Jesus and is safe. We can do this daily, minute by minute if we need to. He is our strong tower. If you trust in him you are made righteous and you have a safe place to take refuge.

Daily I’m comforted by this thought, that I have a safe place in Jesus and, because my mom does too, I’ll see her again someday!

Join us in memorizing Proverbs 18:10 this week, and taking refuge in Jesus!

A Blanket of Snow

It’s been a morning already. Bad attitudes, unwillingness to work, moodiness. And it’s not just the kids! I’m about to send them all out into the snow for a while! Partly so they can get pent up energy out and partly so the house is quiet for a few minutes.

We generally don’t have a very loud house, even with 13 people in it. We’re quiet people, for the most part. But every once in a while the kids are all riled up for some reason and there is talking in every room, screaming in a few, and music somewhere. I am an introvert…let that soak in. I need quiet to recharge and the Lord gave me 11 kids plus an extrovert husband. Many of my kids are extroverts too. On top of that, many people in my house are auditory processors. Yeah…they have to talk everything out…out loud…to me. Of course, I’m an internal processor.

God likes to stretch us, doesn’t He?

This morning we woke up to a winter wonderland, truly! I have rarely seen such a beautiful snowfall. Every branch of the trees were covered with inches of snow, all of it resting precariously and perfectly. One slight breeze would have knocked it all down, yet it clung there in the stillness of the morning. We couldn’t resist peering out from every window, see the different trees blanketed in their own special way. Even now, as I glance out the window at the trees, the beauty has been marred by wind and is no longer as perfect.

At breakfast the kids were marveling at how everything was so smoothly covered in snow, as if all the unevenness and harsh lines of lawn, sidewalk, drive, steps, and trees were pulled taut and straight, like ironing out the wrinkles on a long stored garment. Jacob said, “It’s like a nothing world out there. There’s nothing, just white and smooth.”

It struck me, this is what God means when he says, “though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow”. (Isaiah1:18) All the harsh creases and stark lines of sin are smoothed. We are pulled taut until the wrinkles are gone and the only thing left is a ‘nothing world’. We are made new.

A splendid snowfall like the one today, is a gentle reminder that our bad attitudes, our moodiness, our unwillingness to work can all be covered in a perfect, beautiful blanket of white. A white that smooths the harshness, that fills in the holes and imperfections. And while the beautiful dropping of snow only lasts a few hours at best, the blanket of white Jesus covers us in lasts forever. And, it’s new every morning. We don’t get to wake up once or twice a winter to an amazingly wonderful blanket of snow. We get to wake up every morning to a perfect, new, abundant mercy, poured out lavishly from our loving Father.

So, just like playing outside will readjust attitudes in our house, God’s mercy and washing will readjust our attitudes in our hearts. May you be washed white as snow by our good good Father!

Hide It Away

Have you ever been told something three times? If you hear the same thing the times you tend to pay attention, right?

Well, last week I had the same message from the Lord the times. Ever had that experience? He often speaks to me like that. He’ll give me the same message from the different sources in the course of a few days and then I really know I better listen. It’s probably because he knows I won’t pay attention if he just says it once ;).

The first time I was reading Luke with the kids. We read about Jesus being tempted by Satan in the desert. The thing that struck me was every response Jesus gave was Scripture. He knew God’s Word and was able to use it wisely.

A few days later, a friend was talking about the current state of our world and how crucial it is that we and our children have God’s Word hidden in our hearts. And then the very next day, our pastor explained that if we want to walk by faith, we better know what God’s Word says.

Ok, God! I hear you! I’m paying attention. I felt very convicted to start memory verses with my kids and for myself as well.

We’re starting with Psalm 8:1, “Oh Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens.”

What a great place to start!

Let’s get our hearts focused on how majestic and glory-filled God is as we hide his Word in our hearts. And what a great verse for our present time.

Are you over focused on what’s happening around you?

God’s majestic name is over everything that’s happening on the earth. He is in control and still on his throne.

His glory is far above and greater than all your worries, fears, problems. He knows exactly how your are struggling and he’s powerful enough to calm you and help you!

Focus on his glory and majesty, not this world! And, join us in memorizing his perfect word! Let’s see how many verses we can hide away this year!