My “bud” left this week. It’s been a hard couple of weeks. Leading up to him leaving, I kept thinking how it couldn’t be possible that it was approaching so fast. Then, all of a sudden, it was Monday and we had to say goodbye!
Part of me thinks, how silly that I’m sad! It’s only 13 weeks and he’ll be back. Yet, it’s so much more than just the 13 weeks. He’s not just on a trip or off to college where he could still text me and call me. He gets zero access to phones or computers the entire time, unless he earns a phone call.
The other part of it is that it’s something so huge and so hard! He’s going to what they say is the second most difficult boot camp behind Navy SEAL training. He’s going to be pushed beyond his limits daily in so many capacities. In fact, one of the ways he can earn a phone call is if he knocks another person out in one of the challenges!
I’ve been pondering all week what to say about all this. It’s been on my mind a lot, of course. And I vacillate between being so proud of and excited for him and being so sad he’s gone.
So here’s where my thoughts have landed this week.
First, we raise our kids to leave the nest. All the time, energy, tears, laughter, yelling (cuz let’s be real – there’s yelling), praying…it’s all so they can be amazing adults who can stand on their own in this crazy world! While my heart has been heavy this week, I’ve also felt such peace because this is exactly what I’ve wanted for him all along. He’s doing it! He’s adulting!
Second, Isaiah has inspired me. From the time he was little he’s told me, I’m going to travel the world and probably be in the army. Well, it’s close to true. He’s decided Marines and he’ll have to opportunity to travel all over. He’s been actively pursuing this specific dream for 2 years and what else would I want for him than to go for it! He’s inspiring me to pick up my dreams and pursue them. Push for what God is calling you to!
Third, I couldn’t be more proud of both my boys! They have both pursued God’s calling in their lives this summer. Those callings look so different and yet are both so good. Encourage your kids to follow what God has for them, whether it’s near or far. I don’t ever want to hinder my kids by telling them they have to stay close by or can only pursue certain things. I tell them to seek God and His plan and then go for it!
Lastly, while my mama heart grieves, I’m surrounding myself with people who are supportive and caring. I’ve allowed myself to cry and sleep in a bit and have the iced coffee drink. We aren’t losing it if we cry. We aren’t a mess if we’re sad. It’s ok to have those emotions too and while it’s not comfortable, I’ve given myself the space and opportunity to feel those things.
I told Isaiah on Monday, “Go! Have your adventure! Just don’t forget God!”
“Thanks, Mom. It’s gonna be ok.” He replied. Then I hugged him until he was annoyed, then hugged him one more time and made it to the car before I sobbed. I’ve got the countdown on the wall and have already written a letter to him (even though I don’t have the address yet). At the same time I’m so excited for him and so thankful he is pursuing God’s dream for his life!