We’ve entered into summer mode and I think we entered a little too hard. Over the last couple weeks we’ve fallen out of any and all routine. Might sound great except for the repercussions.
Bed times have slid later as the sun has stayed up longer. Andrew and I sit on the porch in the perfect evening air watching the sunset and the kids run through the darkening yard, laughing and squealing as they play. It’s one of those moments you don’t want to interrupt because it’s so perfect.
Eating habits have tanked as people don’t feel hungry because of the heat, so snacks abound and good meals dwindle. Productivity has sunk close to zero as everyone “forgets” to make their beds and shower regularly and suddenly no one knows what chore is theirs anymore.
One morning it all culminated in a massive shouting match between four kids. They had woken up and turned on the tv, which was becoming habit. When they had to get off the couch to do chores, there was whining. As they fed animals the whining escalated to fighting and calling each other names and even throwing things. I stood on the porch and listened to the surround sound of nastiness in my yard.
I decided swift and firm action had to be taken. Who wants their summer to sound like that?
I gathered the four up who had been fighting and whining all morning and informed them they’d be working hard all day. Thankfully I had a list of things that needed to be done that involved physical labor.
They spent the day pulling fence posts, moving cattle panel, cleaning the cat space, and cleaning the yard. There were a few grumbles but the threat of more work quieted them quickly. I’m not usually one to make a punishment last a long time but I felt that they needed a very loud clear consequence for their nastiness. It needed to end immediately.
On top of that I got back to meal planning because we all know, good, home cooked food makes a huge difference in our children’s behavior. And we got back to a normal bedtime routine. My kids needed a few reminders that it’s perfectly ok to go to bed when the sun is still up.
The last week since this happened has been relatively peaceful. I think the message got through to everyone.
Honestly, I’d highly recommend keeping a list of things that require some physical labor around your house. Things that you want done but maybe don’t need to be done. That way, if you encounter massive bickering and fighting, you have some ammo to fight with!
That evening we had a picnic with some friends and my kids played hard. On the way home, they all said repeatedly they were SO tired. I just smiled.
They slept quickly and solidly that night.
Sometimes I think we can grow complacent and deaf to our children’s behavior. We hear it all the time and tune it out. But, we need to be aware of their hearts and how they are treating their siblings. It matters, everyday. Addressing it quickly and consistently helps them learn it’s just not acceptable.
On top of that we need to be always training our children in how to handle conflict. I know way too many adults who either run and avoid or go straight to yelling when it comes to conflict. Our children can be taught how to have a conversation without demeaning the other person!
Desired Haven Farm 