Usually on a hobby farm, summer is the busiest time of the year, especially in Minnesota. We feel rushed because we only have a few months before the weather turns and we’re forced to stop laboring outside. We cram in all the repair work, the animal things, the landscaping and gardening, the projects to improve the place. And we never seem to have enough time.
This summer has been so different. We’ve been forced to rest by ridiculously heavy rainfall and flooding. At this point my garden is so full of weeds, it’s beginning to look once again like the pasture we took it from. And I don’t know that I can recover it. And, honestly, I’m not sure the Lord wants us to.
As we’ve been forced into rest, we’ve experienced some really sweet time together. We’ve had Andrew home for two weeks now. It still feels a little surreal, like he just took a vacation to get some things done.
Andrew and I have gone on ‘dates’, running to Menards, Walmart, Fleet Farm and Costco. We’re enjoying working together on projects all around the farm and accomplishing things. The kids have loved having Daddy around to play, swim, and do things with. It’s been a renewing of all our relationships and a true blessing from the Lord.
In the midst of the hard and unknown we always have two choices. We can sit in the yuck and stew on the what ifs and why nots and how comes. We can face our eyes to the storm, watch the swirling clouds and wind and rain. We can look only at the situation at hand and wish it were different.
Or, we can ask ourselves “what am I supposed to learn and what is God teaching me”. We can look up to our Creator and Savior, who can’t be dethroned by anyone or anything, and trust Him. We can search for the blessings in the midst of the hard.
Trust me, the blessings are always there. Always. God loves to lavish on us His blessings. And they are abundant, beautiful, and perfect. Sometimes the blessings aren’t even seen or understood for a while, but they are there and will be revealed to you.
Take heart, mamas! Whatever you are going through, God is with you. He loves you. He sees you. He knows exactly what you need. It just might look a little different than you had planned. But it’ll always be better than you had planned.
We have no idea what we’re supposed to do with our garden. We have no idea where Andrew will get a job. We have no handle on our future. That might sound scary, but it actually is so freeing. God removed the burdens and has given us rest. And so, we accept that rest and thank Him for it!
I have a million things to do. Like, actually a million. No exaggeration.
Ok, maybe it’s a bit of an exaggeration. A tiny one. But I really do have a very long list of unfinished projects and household chores to do. There’s laundry to wash, dry, and fold, there’s supper to figure out, and dust is collecting.
And outside? Ugh, don’t even get me started. Too late, I’ll start. Something is eating my rose bush so I should probably figure that out. There’s been massive flooding in our garden do its a disaster and many things need to be replanted. The plants may have died from the excessive rain, but the weeds loved it. So guess what’s thriving right now!
The barn is half cleaned, there’s a dozen downed trees that need to be cleaned up, and on and on the list goes.
Guess what I’m doing? I’ll give you a hint…it’s not anything on the list.
My kids asked if they can go in the pool just as I was going to get my grocery list together and get groceries.
All too often I say I’m busy or have something else going on. They probably expect that answer by now. I decided to embrace these summer days and say yes.
The joy on their faces was inexpressible! They ran to get swimsuits and towels and were trying to figure out the lock on the pool before I’d even gotten outside! And now, they are thoroughly enjoying themselves while I sit on the deck and soak up the sun.
I find even in these moments that I have a hard time decompressing and enjoying the moment. The to-do list still runs through my head, my breath still comes shallow, and the tension remains in my shoulders. I know there’s so many things that need to be done.
But, as I consciously tell myself to take deep breaths and relax my body I realize I am doing something of importance. Well, two things really.
I’m giving my kids the time to just have fun and slow down. But I’m also giving myself permission in the midst of busy to slow down and have fun too.
We live in a society that praises busyness and sees hurry as a status symbol. How often do we ask how are you to hear “I’m so busy.” We may even say it in a frustrating tone but we really use it as a badge of honor.
As mamas, we really do have an endless list of to-dos and must-get-dones. Kids always need something. The house needs tending. Supper needs to get made. And they are all good things.
But don’t forget to put rest and fun on your to-do list as well. Remember your kids are little once…just once. Tomorrow they will be older, a year from now they may not want to snuggle on the couch with a book or have you watch them in the pool.
The projects and chores will always be there. Things will always need repair or tidying.
Your kids will grow up and go on adventures of their own. And guess what? It’s amazing to see (more on that next time).
Savor now. Enjoy their smiles and splashes and potions, and tree climbing. Laugh with them. Walk at their pace. Say yes to “lifeguarding”.
“Oh good, we’re just so busy.” “We’re in a busy season.” “Life just keeps rolling along all too quickly.”
Familiar conversation? It seems no matter who you ask, you get a response about how busy someone is. It may sound a little different but it seems there’s a common theme.
Why are we all so busy? What are we filling our time with? And is it worthwhile?
I think all too often we fill our time with work, activities, errands, and entertainment because it’s what everyone else is doing. Keep up with the Jones’, right? Our kid’s friends are doing gymnastics, we better put our kids in. The neighbor just got a new car, we’d better put in more hours and get one too. Our friends just moved to the country, we’d better start looking for property too.
We may not put it into words, or even conscious thought, but we’re comparing all too often. Comparison steals our contentment and joy every time and yet we do it. And it’s frequently a bad habit we don’t even realize.
Also, we make ourselves busy because it makes us feel important. We believe we have to be doing something in order to be worth something. If I fill my schedule and try to keep all the plates spinning and show success in all these areas, then I’m worthy. Then when someone asks “What’s new?” I have a list to share.
At the end of the day, at the end of the week, at the end of a year, do we really feel successful, fulfilled, satisfied with all our busyness, running, and frantic pacing? Or is it more likely that we feel defeated because we didn’t quite achieve enough, discouraged because someone else did it better, and exhausted because we aren’t actually supposed to do, but be?
Did you just take a deep inhale right there? Can you relate?
I know I can.
I’ve been convicted about Sabbath for a long time now. Like, a really long time. We’ve clumsily attempted taking a Sabbath here and there only to have it overshadowed by the to-do list.
Recently I’ve been reading Holy Hygge by Jamie Erickson. If you haven’t, I highly recommend you get yourself a copy of this book and take your time with each chapter. In her chapter Rest, she says, “Sabbath rest is a tithe of time…” and “…rest is not a suggestion. It is a command.”
Those hit me hard. I have seen God multiply our finances innumerable times over the years, so much so that I couldn’t even begin to add up the amount He’s blessed us with, simply because we’ve been obedient. We’ve learned to tithe our finances no matter how tight the month appears because God always, and I mean Always, multiplies it and covers our needs and, often, covers our desires as well.
If I know that truth in my very depths, why would I assume He would do any differently when I tithe my time? I’ve learned there are amazing blessings in obedience so why should it be difficult to be obedient with giving my time to Him?
Maybe because I’m a slow learner, just like the Israelites as they wandered the desert. How many times did they have to relearn the lesson that God can be trusted? How many times must I learn that lesson?
I got to this point and thought, okay God, I’ll try to trust you with my time. But how do I actually make this work? How do I actually set aside time that looks different? It’s supposed to be holy, set apart. What does that look like?
It’s obviously going to look different in every family, but for me a few things really helped me bring this down to the practical.
First, get everyone on board. The whole family has to understand the Sabbath and be willing to rest and make it look different. In our home, we sat down and actually created a Sabbath list. I asked the kids, “if you could do anything you wanted on a family day, what would it be?”
The list is great! There are fun farm projects, hiking and day trips, playing board games, going out for ice cream. My kids were so astute to even add worship God with music, read His Word, and pray. I’m sure it will change and be added to as we go, but I’m excited we can actually start to do those family things we always talk about doing.
Second, prepare for the Sabbath during the week. A couple close friends and I were talking about how to do this and we came up with a few things. Get the house chores, errands, grocery shopping, and other projects done on other days during the week. This might sound obvious, but it really requires a mind shift. If I need to get the laundry and other house chores done on other days, then those days need to be open enough to allow for that. Which means I need to say no to extras so I’m actually home to do those things. Which means I need to look at my calendar and see the open spaces as opportunities to prepare for the Sabbath, not as spots to be filled.
We also have to trust. We can’t take one the mindset that I just have to work harder and faster and get more done on those other days so I can rest. I need to trust that God will multiply my time just as He multiplies my finances. I can’t look at my to-do list and think, well great, now I’ll really never get this all done. I need to look at that list and say, God, I trust you to get done what needs to get done, and to remove from the list what isn’t important right now.
Third, I believe we need to go into Sabbath willingly and cheerfully. “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” 2 Corinthians 9:7.
God wants us to want to give, so that He in turn can show us how much He can give. He loves and desires to bless us, I’ve seen this from experience. We can actually trust Him.
“Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”
2 Corinthians 9:7
We aren’t perfect at this, in fact, I’d say we’re newbies, just trying to figure it out. We’ll probably stumble and be clumsy along the way. But, prayerfully and hopefully, with God’s help, we’ll start to honor Him with our time.
This year has been rough. Covid is just a small portion of it all. I’m sure many can say the same. Seems like we’re busier than ever, work is more stressful, schooling is harder, there’s lots of changes for our kids as they grow, the farm takes lots of work and something is always broken. I mean always. We fix one thing, two more things break.
We forget to stop. We forget to recharge. We forget to observe the Sabbath. Work and busyness take over. And suddenly we find ourselves burned out. And we’re somehow shocked by it. As if we didn’t bring this upon ourselves. We should know. We should see it coming. But for a long time we think, we’re fine, everything is fine. And we think, it’ll slow down soon. If I can just get this done. After this project, then it’ll slow down.
But, realistically it doesn’t. Not unless we force it too. We have to be purposeful about rest, just like we’re purposeful about getting things done. We need to realize the importance of stopping, resting, emotionally catching up with life, and processing the hard stuff. We need to acknowledge that some things are hard and that they hurt. And we need to process it quietly to get past it. Otherwise it all catches up to us in a bad way. It comes out sideways, as a friend of mine says.
The last few days our family got away. And I mean, really got away. We were coming off a very busy weekend with a grad party, that was amazing. We had all just been sick. School is looming. We honestly truly considered not going on this trip at all.
It takes a lot to get to our cabin. It doesn’t have running water so we have to haul in drinking water. It doesn’t have electricity so we have to bring coolers and all things battery operated. It’s not anywhere near a store so we have to make sure we have everything. There’s no hospital so we have to have all the first aid things.
I’m sure at this point some of you are thinking, this doesn’t sound like a vacation at all. I wouldn’t go. Believe me, we were at that point. We sat down Tuesday and talked through, is this even realistic? Can we actually do this? Is it worth it?
I was actually stress paralyzed Tuesday evening. There was so much to do and I was too overwhelmed. Then my amazing son, Isaiah, stepped up, handed out jobs to all the kids, and took over canning peaches. And just like that, the vacation was back on the tracks.
If you’ve never been to our cabin, you really can’t truly understand why anyone would put in all this effort to get there. And it’s hard to explain. But there is nowhere on earth quite like it. Nowhere. It’s almost like you’ve left earth a little. That probably sounds quacky, but it’s true. Pictures don’t quite do it justice. But I’ll show you some anyway.
The Bullard family cabin, built by my grandpa in the 70s.
The thing about this vacation is that it’s truly off the grid. It’s way up north in the woods. You drive to Grand Marais, and then you keep driving. You have to travel north another 45 minutes on a small, heavily wooded gravel road. When that gravel road ends at a lake you have to cross a one lane wooden bridge and take a low maintenance logging road another 10 minutes. You get bumped and jostled and if you meet another car coming the opposite direction you better hope there’s some space in the woods to move over. Once you hit a natural sand pit, you turn down the hill. Mind you, by the time you’ve made it this far you’re not in the prairie land of Minnesota anymore. It’s bluffs and cliffs, and steep, rocky hills, all covered in pine and birch trees.
When you turn down the hill you make your way treacherously down a steep grade, hoping your tires have enough tread to hang on. By this point the trees are scraping the sides of your vehicle, the rocks are slipping out from under the tires, and while Andrew is loving the off-roading, I’m praying!
Finally, about halfway down the cliff you find our cabin. A little A-frame nestled in the woods, sitting on the edge of a bluff. And, when you get out of the car, you inhale deeply, and you remember why you go to all the trouble of getting there.
The air and water are clear. The trees are thick and whisper in the breeze. The water laps on the rocky shore in a gentle rhythm. There’s hardly another soul around. Electronics don’t work. There’s no cell coverage. No TV, no phones, no distractions. And you can just be.
There’s work involved in being at the cabin. Hauling water from the lake and boiling it for dishes. Putting the boat in the water. Cooking over a tiny propane stove, trying to find spots for 12 people’s possessions in about 800 square feet. But it’s good work, simple work. You can do a job and see it to completion shortly. And then…you can just rest.
Our kids kept asking the first day, what are we doing today? What’s the agenda? It tells us how busy we’ve been when even the kids need to relearn how to relax. We told them, there’s no agenda. Sleep if you want to sleep, go fishing if you want to fish. Eat if you’re hungry. Play games. Explore. Read. Do whatever you want, when you want.
And we did. It took us all a bit to unwind, but we did it. We rested. And it felt so good. So healing. So needed.
We reconnected with each other, laughed together, took naps, discovered some kids love fishing, ate, swam in cold water, threw rocks in the lake, searched for agates, and never pulled out a cell phone to check texts or emails. We had some good conversations that needed to be had and actually had time to process things. For all the work it took, for all the stress of getting there, I’d do it over and over.
I didn’t even realize how burned out our whole family was until we got there and unplugged. We aren’t fully restored but it was a definite step in that direction and we have some plans made to keep adding rest into our lives.
If you don’t rest, I encourage you to. Find time to unplug, to just be. Spend time uninterrupted with your kids. Spend time uninterrupted with your spouse. Look at them, listen to them, encourage them. This year, more than ever, I’m realizing how fast the time truly goes. I have two 19 year old young men now, graduated and on to college soon and am constantly wondering how we got here. It baffles me that that many years have gone by. Life will never be the same. Next summer we may not be able to take a trip like this with all our kids.
Life doesn’t stop. I know that. But we can stop, even just for a day or an afternoon and rest. We realized this weekend that our kids won’t wait for us. They will just keep getting older, and quickly. We have to take the time now to reconnect and to teach them how to rest.
One of my favorite places in the world, with my favorite people.
If we don’t purposefully stop and rest, we won’t be able to keep going for long. And we won’t be our best selves. And we won’t give our family everything they need from us. And time will just keep going. The choice is ours…and we need to make it now. We need to rest.
Desired Haven Farm 