New Year – Desired Haven Farm

Happy New Year

On the last day of the year I was driving with my seven year old. I mentioned it was the last day and the new year started the next day.

“Was 2025 a good year?” He asked.

“Well, there were good things and hard things in it. We had some losses and we had some good things too.”

“So it was a normal year?” He asked.

I think all too often we have this unrealistic expectation that we “deserve” a good year or we shouldn’t have any hardships. We want comfort and ease and never ask for difficulties.

But that isn’t real life.

Last year we lost a close friend, a dog, a baby, a lamb, cars. Some were harder losses than others.

But we had good things too. Andrew got a new job that has blessed our whole family in many ways. Projects were accomplished. We had an amazing family trip to our cabin and everyone grew in so many ways.

Charles Swindoll said, “When I ask people when they really grew spiritually, they never describe an easy time. Never.”

We’re all going to face hardships our entire lives. Our mindset in it is what matters. Do you whine and complain and feel envious of those who seem to have it easy? Or do you ask God what He’s trying to teach you in it? Do you find the blessings in the midst of the difficulty or do you just focus on the negative?

Did you know that research has shown that how we think about a situation actually rewires our brain? It’s called neuroplasticity and I don’t think we truly understand the power of this. When we focus on the negative, we will continue to see the negative.

When we look for the good and positive, we start to see it more and more. We actually rewire our brain to see the good. It’s really cool! And it’s really real.

In the past two weeks we’ve had a lot. Truly, a lot.

Our son and his girlfriend came to visit for Christmas. It was our first time meeting her and then we all got sick with influenza. We had numerous Christmas events and in the midst of it all, our cat got really sick. Then we had to say goodbye to Isaiah and his girlfriend, whom we had fallen in love with. I rang in the New Year with a child on the couch suffering from croup. Then we had to make the hard decision to put our cat down. It still sounds like a symphony of coughing in my house.

I could choose to look at all the negative. But I choose to see the good in it all. We got to see Isaiah and Karli and welcome her into our family. We went sledding and enjoyed good food. In the middle of the night with the croupy child, we stood on the porch letting her breathe in the cold air. She looked at me and said so sweetly, “I’ve never been outside at this time before. It’s nice.” (It was 3:30am)

Then yesterday, two of my girls got in an accident. It could have been so terrible but praise Jesus he protected them. They hit a snow drift and spun, sideswiping an oncoming car. Had he not swerved when he did, it would have been a head on collision. Again, I can focus on the terrible fact that they had an accident. Or I can thank God they are safe.

So, how are you wiring your brain? Are you going into this new year thinking it’s going to be “your year” and it’s going to be amazing and perfect? Or are you ready to look for the good and blessings in the midst of real life? Are you ready to thank God for the good and for the way He carries you and refines you in the hard?

I don’t look at all the hard in the last two weeks as a premonition of what’s to come this year. I don’t see all those things and think, oh great 2026 is going to be terrible. They are all just part of life. And God is so faithful. Every single time there’s something difficult, I see Him. I see His love for us and His goodness to us.

As you enter this new year, remember we aren’t promised all ease and comfort. But we are promised that He will never leave or forsake us.

Happy New Year!

Not So Hidden Blessings

Andrew and I were reminiscing about 2024 on the 31st.

We’ve been seeing all these memes about 2024 ending and 2025 coming. Things like

2024 says, “But did you die?”

No one claim 2025 as your year. We’re all going to walk in nice and slow like.

We’ve been laughing at them because, honestly, we can relate. But as we talked over the year, we were blown away by God’s faithfulness and constant presence.

We were devastated when our garden flooded and we lost everything, but God gave us rest we hadn’t had in a long time.

We were shocked when Andrew was let go from his job, but God gave Andrew restoration and healing after being so burned out. God gave release and freedom where there seemed to be none. God has provided each and every day since July 22nd.

We were blessed with three visits with Isaiah.

Because Andrew was off work, we were able to help Samuel and Liv fix up their new house.

God added to our family by sending sweet Eli.

God brought new friends into our life whom we desperately needed.

God forged other friendships deeper and purer.

He showed us who truly had our back.

There are always going to be hard times, difficult seasons, and trying circumstances. We live in a broken and fallen world.

But God.

He is ever present and working. He loves us and desires to bless us abundantly. Sometimes we just have to look at a situation differently.

So whatever 2024 looked like for you, ask God where is the blessing in this? Guaranteed they are there and he’ll show you!

Happy New Year!

Happy New year, friends and family!

My daughter and I were commenting this morning that it doesn’t really feel like we are already past Christmas and it’s New Year’s Day. I think the strange Minnesota weather is partly to blame. It’s been so warm and muddy out, it hardly felt like December! Yet, here we are!

We went to church yesterday to see our sweet grandson be dedicated. As I watched my son and daughter-in-law stand on stage with the sweetest baby and an amazing pastor, I thought, what a great way to ring in the New Year! You can say there are better ways – parties, Times Square, lots of noise and craziness. But I won’t agree.

Ringing in the New Year dedicating our hearts and children to the Lord is the absolute best way to celebrate in my opinion! After the dedication, the pastor talked about resolutions and all the different kinds people make this time of year.

I’m going to get in shape.

I’m going to save more money.

I’m going to get a better job.

I’m going back to school.

I’m going to buy that new car.

The list goes on. What’s the common piece in all those resolutions?

Me.

So often, we focus all on ourselves in our resolutions. I am going to… I will do… I want…

And how often do those resolutions last? A week, a month? Usually not much longer than that. Pretty soon, we’re back to our old habits and nothing in our lives has truly changed. Self focus rarely brings about heart change.

Self focus rarely brings about heart change.

The pastor instead shared about a different kind of resolution. A resolution that no matter what comes, no matter the trials, circumstances, ordeals, joys that 2024 can bring, we resolve to focus on the Lord.

We resolve to remember that no matter what the Lord is on the throne and can’t be moved. We resolve to put the Lord first in all things. We resolve to honor the Lord with every task, chore, dollar, event in 2024. We resolve not to worship the idols of this world, but worship the one true God.

It’s not an easy path. Rarely is the right path the easy path. In fact, I’d say the right path is always the harder path.

Think of Daniel in the Bible. He resolved not to eat the king’s food. Why? Not because it was the wrong foods, but because it had most assuredly been sacrificed and offered up to false gods. He wasn’t willing to even partake in the foods offered to the king’s false gods. He resolved to put the Lord first. It wasn’t the easy path. He was thrown in the lion’s den and his friends who resolved with him were thrown in the fiery furnace.

But God.

God saved Daniel and his friends. He rewarded them for remaining faithful and steadfast. He walked with them in the lion’s den and the fiery furnace. They chose the hard path and were willing to walk it because of who their God was and is.

We can make the same choice.

Whatever your New Year’s Resolution may be, put the Lord first. A resolution to get in shape or save money isn’t inherently wrong. But when our trust and our fulfilment lie in that thing, it’s going to fail. We won’t maintain it. We won’t be satisfied with it. We won’t find happiness or contentment there.

Only when we RESOLVE to put the Lord first, will our year be everything we hope and dream it will be. And I can’t think of a better way to do that than to resolve to dedicate our hearts and our children’s hearts to the Lord this very day.

These are the amazing children I dedicate to the Lord!

I’ll share more about how we can achieve this in the next post.

For now, Happy New Year! And may the good, good Lord be first in your year!

Happy New Year!

January, 2023.

I wrote that this morning in my journal and, boy, did it strike me! How in the world did we get to 2023?!

Like you, I’ve seen almost every kind of New Year’s resolution on social media – weight loss, getting in shape, eating healthier, spending time more wisely, getting out of debt. The list goes on.

But what I haven’t seen a lot of is improving mental and emotional health. Maybe because it isn’t an easy topic, maybe because people don’t know what to do about it, maybe because it feels to hard to work on.

But I believe it is so so important. More important than physical health or monetary security or a cleaner house. Those things can’t even really happen unless a person’s mental and emotional health are secure. But how does a person get there? What do you even begin with?

Well, for me personally, when I dealt with deep depression, the first step was just being honest with myself. Easy to say, really difficult to do. Because you have to face your own pain and insecurity, your own short comings, and your own past. It’s painful and no one really wants to go there .

But, the other side is so much more beautiful and wonderful and life giving. It’s worth it!

It looks different for everyone and we all need different things to heal, but here’s what I found for myself.

First I had to ask some hard questions. Am I too focused on the negative? How do I focus more on the positive? What got me to this place? Do I have some things in my past I need to face and deal with? Who and what am I blaming and what do I need to take responsibility for instead? Am I seeing what others do through a wrong perspective? Am I taking things personally that aren’t actually directed at me?

You have to sit with these a while. You can’t just quickly assess and move on. Sit and ponder and wonder. And be honest with yourself.

If you can’t get through these hard questions on your own, find a good counselor. There’s really good ones out there and it’s worth the time you put in! Don’t say you don’t have time to take care of yourself. If you don’t take care of yourself, I can guarantee you’re not doing a good job taking care of your family. And, more than likely, you’re passing your behaviors, wrong perspective, and bad attitude to your family.

I saw a counselor for quite a while when I was struggling and it helped so much to gain weapons for the battle. It helped to talk things out with an objective observer who could call me out on my wrong perspectives and attitudes and help me correct them. It’s not weakness to see a counselor. It shows courage and strength.

The other big resolution I think we need to see more of is spending time with God. This, above all else, will change your life. But I want to point out a very false movement I’ve seen over the last few years.

There’s this trend to encourage people to spend time in God’s Word, yet push this idea that a few minutes a day is all you need. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are days when all I have is a few minutes. But really that’s not going to change your life.

If you’re resolution is to lose weight, would five minutes on the treadmill change you? If your resolution is to be more wise with your money will skipping Caribou once a month change your pocketbook? Does your health get better because you sign up for a membership at the gym or because you spend time there?

I have seen this trend in churches and I think it’s extremely harmful. You can’t spend five minutes a day in God’s Word and the two hours a day on social media and expect a change. You can’t just read “the verse of the day” and see transformation.

Just like spending time with a counselor when it’s needed, it’s takes just that…time. And effort. And work. And diligence.

You have to make a choice either way. Will I sit stuck in the yuck? Or will I do the hard work so I see life-giving transformation?

I have much more to say on this, so tune in again. For now, start by being willing to be honest with yourself and spending time with God. Good time.