Tag: home school

Freedom in Homeschooling

The other day David said, hey mom, take a picture of this! I turned and looked and he had built this 3D tower out of Jenga blocks that took me seriously minutes to figure out.

I immediately sent it to my oldest, Samuel, because he’d get it. We often call David Samuel Jr because their minds work so similarly!

They can picture something in 3D in their heads, turn it around in their mind and see it from all sides, and then build it or draw it. They are both amazing artists and designers.

I love to watch how their minds work. Both can sit quietly for hours thinking, strategizing, and executing something they came up with and it always awes me. And I love giving David time to explore this gift. 

Even though I’m done homeschooling Samuel and can just watch how he’s put that gift into practice daily with his job, I’m still so thankful we homeschooled him. And I’m so thankful David gets that opportunity as well.

One of the great beauties of homeschooling is letting our kids discover their gifts and talents and give them time to try it out. Samuel would often grab some wood and tools and throw something together. In fact, he just did it the other day when he was over!

Each of us has a gifting or bent towards something. And it’s good to follow those! It’s ok if one of your kids is horrible at math and another excels at it. It’s perfectly normal if one reads at 5 and another doesn’t read until 10. Those successes and weaknesses show us where our kids’ giftings lie. It doesn’t mean you scrap math for the one who struggles with it, but it does give you the freedom to not stress over it.

I have a child who only made it to pre-algebra and even that was a struggle. Guess what? He’s doing just fine in the great wide world! He’s a successful, capable adult.

Let homeschooling give you freedom to pursue those talents and don’t stress over the weak spots! If we each evaluated ourselves, we’d find we still have weak spots!

I love this photo because it perfectly captures David’s personality. He wasn’t upset, just staring at the waves on Lake Superior contemplating and thinking!

Blossom in Time

I remember my first day of kindergarten vividly. I was so terrified as we drove up to the school. I remember hiding in the back seat, trying to shrink down. When my parents got me out of the car, I started to cry. I clung to my mom and an aide pried me off her and held me as I kicked and screamed while my parents drove away.

I have no idea what possessed my parents to think that was ok and normal. I don’t know if it was a bit out of desperation because if I went to school they didn’t have to pay childcare anymore or if they just thought, well she’s five, she has to go.

Sometimes, actually many times, I notice people just don’t think things through. It’s just how it’s always been or the “norm”. Do what society does because it’s expected.

I remember thinking often about this memory as I watched my little girl struggle with social settings. In her very early years she would cry and bury her head in my shoulder if anyone said hi to her. For a long time she was afraid to talk to anyone except her siblings.

When she was five she wasn’t quite as shy but big groups were very overwhelming to her. She would basically shut down and once she was home she’d find a quiet corner and do her own thing.

Today, at 13, she loves her friends, one or two at a time. She shines on stage playing her flute or acting. She has the biggest smile for people and is so kind and thoughtful. She’s definitely still an introvert and always will be, but she’s confident in who she is and comfortable around people. She’ll still say, “there’s so many people” or “I need some alone time” but she’s learned how to navigate those “extrovert” situations.

I love that homeschooling has allowed her to blossom at her own pace, in her own time, in her own way. Unlike me, she wasn’t forced to manage something she wasn’t ready for. She wasn’t pushed into a large group where she was terrified for no other reason than she turned five.

Homeschooling is way more than math and reading, although she’s really good at those too. It’s about letting our kids be who they were created to be. It’s about giving them a safe environment where they are protected from things they aren’t ready for. It’s about cherishing those very different personalities each of our kids possess.

She’s an amazing young lady, who is a joy to be with. I’m so thankful I get to have her at home where she isn’t zapped of all her energy everyday just trying to manage lots of people!

Failure

Ever feel like a failure as a home schooling mom? Yeah, I know you do. I know because I see it as the most common post in homeschooling FB sites I’m part of. I know because I feel it too. Almost everyday. Some days more than others. This week has been one of those weeks. Everyday there has been something to knock me down.

Something telling me, “you aren’t cut out for this. You are not smart enough. Your kids will never make it if you teach them at home.”

This week it’s been coming at me from every side. Bad grades being exposed. Kids not telling me they are struggling so I think everything is fine only to find out it’s utter disaster. One prayed for God to help them get caught up to the other kids in band. I thought said child was doing fine. I look at ACT tests, colleges, tech schools, and think we’ll never get there. They will never do well enough to get in. And if they do get in, they’ll struggle so much they’ll want to quit. And it’s all because of me and my shortcomings.

I don’t really know the answer to this feeling. I know that part of it is a lie from the devil. He wants me to believe I’m not capable. He wants me to believe I should give up now before it’s too late. He wants me to believe that if we just had more money to put the kids into all sorts of activities then they’d be fine. He wants me to believe that a different curriculum or a different method will be better. He wants me to keep chasing the next best thing. I know that he’s trying to get me to believe his lies and, thankfully, I know how to fight him. But even still, it’s hard.

It’s so hard not to get caught up in it, thinking this is the end of the world and because there’s a bad grade or even a failed class my kids will never be successful. It’s hard to not compare to others around me.

But I wonder if part of it is conviction too. Not the lie that I’m not capable, but the feeling that maybe I’m not doing enough. Is there, somewhere in there, some conviction from the Lord? Is he trying to wake me up out of my apathy and remind me to keep on keeping on? Is there a still, small whisper in the midst of the screaming lies that’s telling me to push a little harder than I did before?

I don’t know, maybe. I know I waste time sitting on FB on the couch. I know I am uninterested sometimes in getting to school, again, for the umpteenth day. So maybe He is trying to nudge me just a little.

I also know that in the midst of the loud, consistent lie that I’m not enough and not doing enough, Jesus whispers truth. If I would just stop to listen, I’d hear it. And I have heard it this week. He has been reminding me that he loves me and He loves my children more than even I do.

I saw this quote on FB today:

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I felt like Jesus was speaking loud and clear in that moment. And because I read that quote, reminders of how great my kids are came rushing at me. I was reminded how much they love others and how hard they work. I was reminded of how one of them knows just when I need a hug. I thought about how they can make me laugh, how they love to learn new things and are willing to be daring. They are extraordinary people with gifts and talents that are just beginning to emerge.

We’ve been reading through Matthew as a family. The image of Jesus walking, talking, teaching, loving is so vivid as you read His words. I think about what He did while He was on earth and how He impacted people around Him. It wasn’t all about academics and good test grades. It was about love.

Does that make the feeling go away completely? No. It doesn’t. Let’s be real. I will probably still feel like a failure. I will probably still question what I’m doing and if it’s good enough. I will probably want to give up, sometimes daily. I’ll probably still get all worked up over bad grades and missed assignments.

Yesterday I had to wait a few hours to have a talk with one of our kids. I think the Lord gave me those few hours as a gift. I started out really upset and I know I wouldn’t have handled the situation in that moment well. As the time went on, thoughts came to me of how great said child is and how far they’ve come. There were times not too far in that past that were so much worse than this moment. In those few hours, being able to think and ponder on that changed my heart immensely. Suddenly the bad grade wasn’t the end-all, it was just a moment in a series of moments. I was able to see more clearly that getting angry really wasn’t even worth it.

By the time I had the chance to talk it out with this child, it was a calm conversation. A conversation filled with love and with me being able to tell this child all the amazing traits I see in him/her. I was able to tell said child how important he/she was to me and how the grades are so much less important than our relationship.

Did I just let it all slide? No, there was plan put in action with work to be done. There was a consequence of less friend time, but it was all done in love and calm discussion. I can’t say it always happens that way. I thank God for those few hours He gave me so I could calm down and see long term.

Maybe some of my kids won’t get into college. Maybe some will be C students all their school years. Maybe some will graduate top of their class. Who knows? The reminder this week, for me, is that it’s not everything. School, classes, grades, colleges, scholarships…they aren’t everything. Are they important? Sure, of course. But they aren’t everything.

Am I good enough? Is what I’m doing enough? I guess in that I just need to keep bringing it back to the Lord and asking Him what my kids need, instead of asking the world or trying to keep up or compare. Easier said than done, I know. But we’ve got to start somewhere. Maybe I need to do more, maybe not. I’m going to try to trust that the Lord will sort that one out for me. I’m going to say, right now, “Devil, not today. I’m not going to get sucked into your lies. I’m not going to be knocked down by you. I’m going to believe Jesus when He says He loves me and my kids.” He knows just what we need, each and every one of us.

 

Hiding the math books

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The last couple weeks have been just insanely busy! School ended but life sure didn’t slow down. We have visited friends, run errands, cleaned and repaired around the farm, and now we’re in the midst of getting ready to go camping. I always think, next week will be slower, but that next week never comes. It is forever busy around here.

I have to say I’m thankful for it. I wonder sometimes, what would I be doing if I wasn’t doing this? I don’t have any idea but I do know that what I’m doing is good. Raising kids that love Jesus, helping others, working on our farm, it’s good. And I’m also thankful that we are all healthy and strong and able to do those things. I try hard not to take for granted our health and strength because I know there are many who don’t have that.

I am always ready come May to get that change in routine. After nine months of school most days at the dining room table we are all REALLY ready to a change. Not one of us wants to look at a math book or handwriting for a long time! And that’s okay. We’ve done our share of book learning and now it’s time for hands on learning. I honestly think it’s even more important than the books.

It’s time for the garden, for raising chicks, for mowing and weeding, for watching calves come into the world. It’s time for hot summer days with friends, playing in the sprinkler. It’s time to just enjoy the beautiful world God has made around us. It’s also time to see neighbors, other than just through a car window! We love summer around here (other than the awful, pesky flies).

Just yesterday, we sat down at the table to do a math page. I try to keep my kids’ minds fresh by doing just a little math and reading over the summer. But we weren’t ready to get back into it yet. Not at all. I heard the same line I heard all school year, “Mom, I need your help” and a cringed. It occurred to me in that moment that we need a little bit more time before we do our two days a week. I couldn’t take it, and really, neither could the kids. And guess what?! That’s okay.

We are putting the books on the shelf, pulling out the bags, sleeping bags, tent, fishing and swimming gear, and going camping! That’s what we need. A campfire, smores, a lake, some sunny days, and great friends. And that’s just what we’re going to get. So, goodbye math books; we won’t miss you. Hello treats and water and sun and pure, happy, summertime exhaustion!!

I’ll post photos when we get back! Enjoy summer and don’t feel guilty one bit about hiding the math books!!