Desired Haven Farm

Our farm is going crazy. In a good way. We’ve been processing all sorts of fruits and vegetables and every time I turn around there’s something else ripe!

I also ordered peaches and pears so those had to be processed as well. I’m so excited to see the shelves in my cold cellar filling up. But it’s all a lot of work too. And of course it all comes right when we need to start school!

I have to remind myself of how wonderful all these food vegetables and fruits all be in January! And I have to remind myself that harvesting, canning, and moving jars around is all part of learning!

Last night I took a walk down the driveway while the little boys ran down the driveway. The sun was shining as it set, the breeze was light, and there were lots of giggles. I looked over and noticed my favorite bush on my property. A couple years ago a friend excitedly pointed this bush out to me and at the time I didn’t realize what a treasure it was. Now I baby it!

It’s a large, gorgeous elderberry bush! And, of course, it was heavy and full with ripe berries! Kids, grab the bowls and scissors!

If you’ve never processed elderberries, it’s so tedious. It’ll take us a week of evenings watching movies and picking berries off the branches to just get the berries ready. You can’t have any little sticks or green berries because they are toxic, so it’s a long, arduous process. Then we have to boil them with all sorts of other good things to make a syrup. But my, oh my! What a blessing elderberry syrup is in the winter when colds and flu abound. We stayed so healthy last winter taking it regularly.

Now the tomatoes are going crazy, the apples are almost ripe and the beets are waiting to be harvested as well. I’m going to try pickled beets this year, which I’ve never done before. I’ll probably be the only one to eat them, but hey, we’ll give it a try.

It all makes me feel so blessed but also so overwhelmed! It’s exactly like when I look at my kids! I feel so blessed and so overwhelmed. There’s kids everywhere and they all need me. All. The. Time. And yet, it’s so good.

The harvest we reap each fall reminds me to keep going with my kids, even when it’s overwhelming and I’m exhausted. Even when I have no idea what to do with them or if it’ll work.

I have to remember that in the end, the harvest I reap with my kids is more important than anything else I do in this life. And just like those canned peaches and pears will be so so sweet and wonderful in January, watching my kids grow into adults who prayerfully love Jesus will be the sweetest blessing.

When I look at a family photo my heart swells. I feel so abundantly blessed with all these beautiful, wonderful, uniquely made people in my life! I’m so thankful God trusted Andrew and I to raise these children. And I’m thankful for those who help us along the way, just as kids help me with the garden. None of us are meant to do this life alone.

Happy Harvest season!

So, the last couple days have been less than quiet around here. In case you think it’s always all peaches and roses in the Schwab household, think again.

It all started Saturday. We’ve been cleaning and getting ready for our boys’ grad party in a couple weeks. I was washing windows and there is this one window in the kitchen that we can’t ever get open to clean. I’ve wanted to replace it for… well… since we moved in. So I mentioned to Andrew that I’d love it if he fixed it or replaced it.

Before I knew it, he was driving to Lamperts for a new window. I didn’t really expect it to happen that minute, but, hey, I got my new window. I only had to ask for five years too!

I wasn’t feeling great that day and the heat was too much for me so I didn’t do much except clean up after him as he installed.

Sunday morning began with kids throwing up. That was less than fun. I felt worse too so we laid around the house watching movies most of the day.

So far, the two sick were hitting their buckets.

Enter two new sick kids at 2:30am…

When someone vomits on the floor of a 120 year old attic, well, let’s just say those floor boards don’t fit tightly together. Mopping in 1/8 inch cracks at 2:30 in the morning isn’t exactly what I’d call fun.

This morning we added a new kid to the mix. And if cleaning puke from the floor cracks wasn’t enough, enter the couch. (If anyone wants to fund a new TV room set, we’d accept) It’s been exciting, let me tell you.

Because I didn’t feel good this weekend the house went to pot. Every corner was piled, the laundry looked like the Eiffel Tower, and the bathrooms were gross, to say the least.

I started cleaning and running laundry through trying to catch up. As Elliot and I were finishing up the second bathroom there was a very loud crashing sound and screaming. I ran around the corner to see Maddie holding Lukas, who was crying.

“He fell down the stairs. Oh, and I threw up on the bathroom floor upstairs.”

At this point I kind of couldn’t believe it myself. But, you can’t make this stuff up. You really can’t.

I calmed the crying child with some cuddles, arnica, and water. Meanwhile I kept thinking of the bathroom. I’m not sure if I was a little delusional at this point or what, but I really thought it couldn’t be that bad. For some crazy reason I really thought maybe I needed to just wipe up a little miss or that maybe she had wiped it up already and I’d need to just check.

You’d think that by the time you have 11 children, you’d always expect the worst, but, no. No, I don’t.

I grabbed a washcloth from the downstairs bathroom… that I had just finished cleaning and headed upstairs. About four steps up the smell hit me.

About ten steps up I could see into the bathroom.

I stopped at the top and looked at the rag in my hand and just laughed. There’s no way that rag was going to do any good. Kind of like bringing a broom to a tornado path.

Enter half a roll of paper towels and a scalding hot mop bucket.

Oh, and if you think that went off without a hitch, think again. I filled the mop bucket with hot water and floor cleaner, or so I thought. As I tipped the bottle into the bucket I realized I had grabbed the oatmeal conditioning dog shampoo. No lie.

By the time the bathroom was cleaned… for the second time…all I could do was say “Jesus, be my strength.” I had none left.

And, if that climax wasn’t enough, I got a “why don’t you kick my dog while you’re here” moment to cap it all off.

As I went to dump the mop bucket out it tipped the wrong direction. Yep. You guessed it. Scalding hot puke water on the legs and feet. I mean, really?!

I’m going to go shower now. And hope for a better day tomorrow.

Yesterday morning, the world lost a good man. He was my grandmas husband for the last 16 years and a part of our family. From the moment he entered our family, he loved on all of us. He especially loved the littlest ones, calling them his “crunchies”. He always wanted the baby on his lap to snuggle and needed a hug from every kid at least once.

He was always smiling and had great stories to tell. He was a good man. He lived a good life too. Now that I think about it, I don’t even know much about his life! Isn’t that the way it goes? We don’t ask the questions when we can and then wish we had.

He loved my grandma well, calling her his “Dottie”. I know she’s sad now and missing him. I hope we can comfort her!

Long ago, these two went to high school together, then lost touch. They both got married, had children, and lived full lives. Both were widowed. They reconnected at a high school reunion and before long, were married in a sweet ceremony.

Even at 92, they lived together in their home in the woods outside of Grand Marais, enjoying the wild life and the quiet life. They’ve had care for a while now since they were both suffering memory loss, but they still loved being in their own home and together.

If you think of my Grandma Dot, pray for her as she grieves. I’m so thankful I got to know this good man!

Yesterday, we got to do something fun. It seems like now that so many things have been canceled and we are just living life with all this unknown around us, we are finding good and fun in the simpler things of life. It’s one of the blessings of being forced to slow down.

And having something fun to look forward to is important. And it’s even better if it doesn’t have to be extravagant, expensive, or bigger than the last thing. I think we had all gotten into the rut of what’s next, entertain me, and let’s outdo the last event.

So, yesterday, we got to have an ultrasound. I really just wanted to see baby, and make sure there was only one! You don’t even know how many people told us we were having twins this time around! My midwife got to come along and see baby too and positioning.

It was something simple and yet, full of joy. And the whole family wanted to know girl or boy!

Everyone had said they wanted a girl this time. Then over the last week Jacob started saying, “I think it should be a boy”. Friends had their ideas and even had their kids guessing what it might be! I tried to stay neutral and not care, but I’ll admit I had my preference!

Cue the ultrasound…

The very first thing we see is a little rump with legs tightly closed! Of course! The ultrasound tech decided she would do some measurements and then see if she could tell boy or girl.

After a few attempts we got a good view! We were all so excited!

It’s

A

GIRL!

Andrew and I were truly thrilled. After three amazing boys, we were just ready for a sweet little girl again. It truly doesn’t matter that much to us. We would have been pleased either way, but we were excited to tell the kids they were getting what they were rooting for!

Olivia started tearing up and said, “This is what I’ve been praying for! I’m just so happy!”

Isaiah hugged me and said he was so excited for a baby sister!

Everyone jumped up and down when they heard it was a girl. It was such a sweet moment. And it made my heart soar to see my kids so overjoyed for their new sibling! They have such sweet hearts and love little ones so much.

Life can throw us so many curveballs. We can’t predict what’s going to happen even tomorrow, especially these days with things so upside down! There hasn’t been a lot of joy lately. And, even for kids, the stress level has been higher than normal.

I’m thankful to the Lord for giving us this sweet new life! And I’m thankful He gave my kids what they were rooting for. It’s a reminder He hears us and loves us so much.

1 John 5:14 “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.”

I was so excited when I looked at the calendar for today. Nothing! Empty!

We gad a huge week last week, putting over 1900 miles on and visiting three huge attractions. It was an amazing family trip filled with great memories. I’m so glad we did it! But it was tiring too. Lots of driving, lots to see and do, and the heat and humidity were actually truly unbearable! And, for me, that’s saying something! I love heat over winter any day. But this was excessive. It probably didn’t help to be 18 weeks pregnant during it all too!

Then the weekend was busy too! We celebrated a great friend’s 40th birthday, which was super fun. Again, lots to do and lots of people. If you don’t know me well, while I love people and gatherings, I’m an introvert and need my down time to rejuvenate.

So, by today I was excited to have nothing to do. Its 1:15pm and I’m laughing at myself. Nothing to do… Right. Like that ever happens around here!

The day started as usual with breakfast, poopy diapers, dirty clothes, and dishes. The kids, thankfully do the kitchen after meals. I looked at my boys and realized they needed haircuts. So, pull out the still and clippers on the deck, cut three heads, clean the deck, get them through showers.

Then there were phone calls. Dog groomer, pharmacy, appointments.

And then there’s always texts. Answering friends, asking questions, etc.

Somehow the laundry had piled up again. I’m through 5 loads of laundry at this point with a couple more to go. Thank the Lord for automatic washers. Can you imagine washing all the clothing we have back in Laura Ingalls’ day? Yikes. I do still like to hang it out in the summer. That means hauling it downstairs and out back. And not forgetting about it later!!

We’ve also been trying to keep up with math and music this summer, so I had to motivate a few kiddos to those activities. Once they get going it doesn’t take long and I think it’s so good to keep up on those items all summer.

Of course, there’s lunch to be had. Someone is always hungry here. Always. My big kids have gotten really good at making lunches themselves and helping the littles out. I’m so thankful for all their hard work, everyday!

Speaking of their hard work, they have lots of animals to take care of and feed. 150 broilers, 50 layers, 14 cats, 2 goats, and a dog. Of course, we were out of chicken feed, so I had to send a big kid to the Ag for more. Again, I’m so thankful for drivers!

None of this is complaining! Please don’t take it that way! I love my life and my kids and the busyness of it. I love getting to be home with my kids and teaching them, not only school but just life skills. I want my kids to be able to clean, so laundry, cook for themselves. So many kids don’t have any idea how to do these things for themselves when they leave home!

I just had to laugh at my “down day”. Today is a quiet day at our house! There’s still more food to hand out, clothing to fold, toys to pick up – by the kids not me, and I’m sure other things will crop up.

Someone asked me yesterday if I ever get to sit down. Not often. But it’s okay. I honestly don’t know what else I’d do with my life if I didn’t have this life. I don’t want to find “mommy balance” by having a job to get me out of the house. I wouldn’t want a f I ll time career. For those that want that and have that, awesome! Everyone’s life and goals are different and that’s just fine!

Enjoy every day, “quiet” or not. Now that I have almost 19 year olds I can honestly say it goes by all too fast!

Anger. It seems to be everywhere these days. In person, on social media, in the midst of family, via texts. Everywhere. It seems so many are angry about so much. And it comes out everywhere. And, it seems to me, once someone is angry about something, they can very quickly and easily jump to the next issue to be angry about.

There is so much heart ache, hurt, wrong in our world today. Everywhere we look, there’s something to get up in arms about. And depending on your world view, you may get upset about something someone else thinks isn’t that big of a deal. Depending on your past experiences, you may get angry about an issue someone else passes by.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t get angry. Even God knew we would. But before we get so angry we stop thinking, we should ask ourselves a couple questions.

One, is my anger righteous? Does it aline with what God would be angry about? Does His Word tell us that what we’re angry about is wrong?

If not, we need to process why we’re even angry. Maybe we’re just angry because someone isn’t in agreement with us, doesn’t see things from our viewpoint. If that’s the case, we need to be mature enough to be OK with others thinking differently than us.

Two, what am I going to do with my anger? Am I going to sit in it and get angrier and angrier? Am I going to let it fester? Am I going to let it transfer to other situations without truly thinking clearly?

Let’s face it, anger can actually make our brain stop making rational decisions. There’s no denying that. People have done some really awful things in anger and come out of it to then realize what they’ve done. So, sitting in it isn’t healthy for us.

God even reminds us in His Word “In your anger, do not sin” Eph 4:26. See, He knew we’d feel anger. It’s what we do with it that makes all the difference. Do you get angry and then spit it at those around you? Do you feel anger rise up in you when you read someone’s post on FB and post a bitter, unkind reply? Or maybe you don’t reply directly, but post something hateful on your own page in a passive aggressive manner?

In your anger, do not sin. This is a powerful statement and I hope it makes you pause like it does me. We will never win anyone to our way of thinking or even help them understand where we’re coming from when we are full of anger that comes out in hateful ways. We will just cause more divide. We’ll cause others to become angry as well. And we’ll completely close off any opportunity to be heard again.

I’ve seen and heard name calling. I’ve heard people tell others their opinion is garbage. I’ve seen hateful looks given by those who think differently to each other. And it only gets worse from there. These aren’t instances between kids on a playground. These are grown ups who should know better. These are grown ups who should be able to have civil conversation. But they’ve allowed anger to get the best of them.

Anger can be useful. It can alert us to an injustice. It can warn us of danger or an unsafe situation. Anger can be a reminder.

So, what are you going to do with your anger? Sit in it, attack others?

Or, let it spur you on to make a change? If you’re angry about something, get involved in a positive manner. Let the anger tell you there’s something that needs to be done here and maybe I can be a part of it in a healthy manner. There are organizations for every issue under the sun. Do your research and make sure you find a legitimate one to pour your time, energy, and money into. Be extra kind where you see injustice. Reach out and heal the divide, instead of making it worse with hurtful words or actions. Let your anger motivate you to positive action and then let the anger go.

Ephesians 4:26 continues, “do not let the sun go down on your anger.” Why would God add? Why doesn’t He want us to go to bed angry?

Some might say it’s just good advice to resolve an issue before bed, but recent studies have linked going to bed angry with actual changes in the brain. You can Google “go to bed angry science” and find a while slew of articles on it. Studies show that going to be angry actually makes it harder to let go of the issue and can cause you to wake up angrier. Maybe this explains why it seems once a person is angry about one thing, they can easily be angry about another issue.

Anger isn’t going to change another person, not in the long term, but it is going to change you. Negatively.

If you have the Holy Spirit, you have his fruit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. There’s no anger on this list. What are you known for?

I have tried for years to have a successful garden. At our old house we tried a small raised bed but it wasn’t big enough and in a really wet spot.

Then we tilled ground, built a big fence for deer and tried that. Oh the weeds!

When we moved into our new house almost 5 years ago now, there was this patch of 6 foot tall weeds. I was told that was the garden. We wanted to mow it down, only to find old fencing tangled hopelessly into the weeds. We ended up tying rope to the fencing and pulling it out with the car! I think we even went to chains because the ropes kept breaking!

I gardened there for a couple years, constantly fighting horrible weeds, prairie grass really. And rocks… so many rocks. One summer I paid the kids 5 cents a rock to pick them out of the garden. Big mistake! They about cleaned me out!

I finally asked my amazing hubby to build me a couple raised beds. So we gave up the in-ground garden and built two good sized raised beds on the space. They weren’t big enough for everything I wanted but it was a start. He dug amazing dirt out of our pasture and we grew a few nice veggies.

The next year we added 2 more beds. That was last spring. We decided to buy dirt for those instead of digging it out of the pasture. I don’t think we’ll ever do that again! The pasture dirt is a little weedy but so nice and rich. And, compared to the weeds in ground, it’s no big deal!

Still, for what I want to do it wasn’t enough beds. So this spring we added more. We went big and added four more good sized beds. Andrew has diligently scoured the scrap pile at work for composite material that can’t be returned. All my beds are made from things like Trex deck boards – stuff that won’t rot. I love it!

Why am I sharing all this? Because I think gardening, of all things, has so many ties to our spiritual life. I wanted it quick and easy. I want results quickly. I would have loved to have all eight beds 3 years ago. I would love to go back years and use what I know now then and feel successful at gardening!

But, just like life, it’s a process. After years and years I finally feel sort of successful at gardening. Every year I learned something new. Every year I added something to make it better. I already have plans for next year! Thankfully my husband loves me enough to go along with my plans and build what I ask.

Just last evening, we were walking in the garden and he noticed what I noticed. “Sure is a nice garden this year. Good job, hon.”

It’s not really just me who’s done a good job. As I weed the few weeds that crop up, I pray over my garden, asking Jesus to bless what our hands have labored at. I ask Jesus to help the plants bear fruit and give me wisdom in what I should do.

Is everything perfect? No. Most of my winter squash plants popped up and then wilted in the early extreme heat because I forgot to water them. My chamomile never came up at all. But, overall, I see success. I can look back over the last 4 summers at this place and say, yep, we’re getting it.

Someone told me when we moved to a hobby farm, it’ll take 5 years to feel settled. I always kept that in my mind when we would feel overwhelmed. And, here we are, it’ll be five years in October and we finally feel somewhat settled. There’s plenty we still want to accomplish, change, improve, and work on. And there always will be. But we finally feel less overwhelmed.

Do you feel overwhelmed in your spiritual life? Do you feel like the weeds and rocks are winning?

Take a step back and remember it’s a process. Just like the garden, I want quick results in my spiritual life. I want to “arrive”. I don’t want to struggle and be pushed by the wind and waves right now. But it doesn’t quite work that way. We need to build the right foundation. Just like building raised beds eliminated a lot of weeds, the right foundation in Christ and His Word can eliminate a lot of sin.

We need to keep pulling those weeds that do crop up, being diligent to remove sin and negative thoughts. Do you just sit in the yuck? I’ve seen people do this. They’ve had trauma, yuck, evil, and bad choices in their lives. And don’t get me wrong. Those are all so so difficult and hard to overcome. But, with Jesus, it is possible! Sitting in that yuck, just like letting those weeds grow, produces a certain kind of result. A result no one wants and no one really wants to be around. And the good fruit can’t grow!

If you’re willing to put in some hard work, stick to it, and not give up when you feel overwhelmed, you will see good results. It may take more time than you want it to! I wish I was at 16 raised beds now! But when I look back I can see so much good progress and see our work paid off! So, keep working at your spiritual life. Haven’t read your Bible in awhile? Pick it up! Haven’t prayed and thanked God in weeks, months, years? Just start by saying Thank you, God, for today! Thank you for blessing me with life and the ability to praise and love you!

You don’t have to figure it out alone either! I didn’t build those beds! I asked Andrew! He found the material, measured, cut, screwed it together and placed it. He dug the dirt and filled them. The kids helped me plant the seeds and plants. You don’t have to walk your spiritual life alone! There are so many solid Christians who would love to encourage you to get into your Bible and pray with you. I am reading certain books of the Bible with a friend this year and we often text each other, asking if we’ve been reading. It has helped me stay more consistent.

And, don’t forget to pray that Jesus would bless the work of your hands and give you wisdom for your spiritual life. He loves to answer prayers like that!

Happy spiritual gardening!

We’ve finished up our school year…mostly. I’m a mean mom and make my kids read, keep going with math, and practice music all summer. One summer, only one, we took off the whole summer and September was miserable! We spent the entire month trying to remember what they’d learned in math the year before. It was frustrating for all of us. So, learning from our mistakes, we do a couple days a week all summer.

Now that we’re mostly done, its clean up time! Once, long ago, my cousin said in her cute little voice, “in order to clean up you have to make a bigger mess first”. There’s some truth to that, although I don’t clean up the same way as my kids. But, I let them own it and go through their school shelf, sorting papers and getting rid of old things we don’t need anymore. There’s always lots of questions about what they should do with certain books and papers.

Once we’ve sorted, trashed, recycled, and made lots of decisions, we end up with a stack for each kid that we want to save.

Each of my children have a storage container that we keep their work in. Each year we add to it. I really don’t know what we’ll do with this boxes, but for now we have them. I guess with two graduates this year, we should pull them out and look through them!

The school shelf looks really nice once we’ve cleaned out… for about a day. Somehow these shelves are always getting messed up and quickly!

Summer is in full swing here with the garden, raspberries, baby goats, and all sorts of projects! Plus the pool is warm and clear and tempting! Getting my kids to do a little math is sometimes excruciating, but I know it’s good for them! We try to just get it done early so we can have the rest of the day to work outside and play outside!

We love summer and freedom that comes with it, but we also see the value in taking advantage of the extra freedom to dig into things we didn’t quite finish during the school year. Make the most of your summerwith a balance of work and play and your “autumn self” will thank you!