Author: desiredhavenfarm

Yesterday, we got to do something fun. It seems like now that so many things have been canceled and we are just living life with all this unknown around us, we are finding good and fun in the simpler things of life. It’s one of the blessings of being forced to slow down.

And having something fun to look forward to is important. And it’s even better if it doesn’t have to be extravagant, expensive, or bigger than the last thing. I think we had all gotten into the rut of what’s next, entertain me, and let’s outdo the last event.

So, yesterday, we got to have an ultrasound. I really just wanted to see baby, and make sure there was only one! You don’t even know how many people told us we were having twins this time around! My midwife got to come along and see baby too and positioning.

It was something simple and yet, full of joy. And the whole family wanted to know girl or boy!

Everyone had said they wanted a girl this time. Then over the last week Jacob started saying, “I think it should be a boy”. Friends had their ideas and even had their kids guessing what it might be! I tried to stay neutral and not care, but I’ll admit I had my preference!

Cue the ultrasound…

The very first thing we see is a little rump with legs tightly closed! Of course! The ultrasound tech decided she would do some measurements and then see if she could tell boy or girl.

After a few attempts we got a good view! We were all so excited!

It’s

A

GIRL!

Andrew and I were truly thrilled. After three amazing boys, we were just ready for a sweet little girl again. It truly doesn’t matter that much to us. We would have been pleased either way, but we were excited to tell the kids they were getting what they were rooting for!

Olivia started tearing up and said, “This is what I’ve been praying for! I’m just so happy!”

Isaiah hugged me and said he was so excited for a baby sister!

Everyone jumped up and down when they heard it was a girl. It was such a sweet moment. And it made my heart soar to see my kids so overjoyed for their new sibling! They have such sweet hearts and love little ones so much.

Life can throw us so many curveballs. We can’t predict what’s going to happen even tomorrow, especially these days with things so upside down! There hasn’t been a lot of joy lately. And, even for kids, the stress level has been higher than normal.

I’m thankful to the Lord for giving us this sweet new life! And I’m thankful He gave my kids what they were rooting for. It’s a reminder He hears us and loves us so much.

1 John 5:14 “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.”

I was so excited when I looked at the calendar for today. Nothing! Empty!

We gad a huge week last week, putting over 1900 miles on and visiting three huge attractions. It was an amazing family trip filled with great memories. I’m so glad we did it! But it was tiring too. Lots of driving, lots to see and do, and the heat and humidity were actually truly unbearable! And, for me, that’s saying something! I love heat over winter any day. But this was excessive. It probably didn’t help to be 18 weeks pregnant during it all too!

Then the weekend was busy too! We celebrated a great friend’s 40th birthday, which was super fun. Again, lots to do and lots of people. If you don’t know me well, while I love people and gatherings, I’m an introvert and need my down time to rejuvenate.

So, by today I was excited to have nothing to do. Its 1:15pm and I’m laughing at myself. Nothing to do… Right. Like that ever happens around here!

The day started as usual with breakfast, poopy diapers, dirty clothes, and dishes. The kids, thankfully do the kitchen after meals. I looked at my boys and realized they needed haircuts. So, pull out the still and clippers on the deck, cut three heads, clean the deck, get them through showers.

Then there were phone calls. Dog groomer, pharmacy, appointments.

And then there’s always texts. Answering friends, asking questions, etc.

Somehow the laundry had piled up again. I’m through 5 loads of laundry at this point with a couple more to go. Thank the Lord for automatic washers. Can you imagine washing all the clothing we have back in Laura Ingalls’ day? Yikes. I do still like to hang it out in the summer. That means hauling it downstairs and out back. And not forgetting about it later!!

We’ve also been trying to keep up with math and music this summer, so I had to motivate a few kiddos to those activities. Once they get going it doesn’t take long and I think it’s so good to keep up on those items all summer.

Of course, there’s lunch to be had. Someone is always hungry here. Always. My big kids have gotten really good at making lunches themselves and helping the littles out. I’m so thankful for all their hard work, everyday!

Speaking of their hard work, they have lots of animals to take care of and feed. 150 broilers, 50 layers, 14 cats, 2 goats, and a dog. Of course, we were out of chicken feed, so I had to send a big kid to the Ag for more. Again, I’m so thankful for drivers!

None of this is complaining! Please don’t take it that way! I love my life and my kids and the busyness of it. I love getting to be home with my kids and teaching them, not only school but just life skills. I want my kids to be able to clean, so laundry, cook for themselves. So many kids don’t have any idea how to do these things for themselves when they leave home!

I just had to laugh at my “down day”. Today is a quiet day at our house! There’s still more food to hand out, clothing to fold, toys to pick up – by the kids not me, and I’m sure other things will crop up.

Someone asked me yesterday if I ever get to sit down. Not often. But it’s okay. I honestly don’t know what else I’d do with my life if I didn’t have this life. I don’t want to find “mommy balance” by having a job to get me out of the house. I wouldn’t want a f I ll time career. For those that want that and have that, awesome! Everyone’s life and goals are different and that’s just fine!

Enjoy every day, “quiet” or not. Now that I have almost 19 year olds I can honestly say it goes by all too fast!

Anger. It seems to be everywhere these days. In person, on social media, in the midst of family, via texts. Everywhere. It seems so many are angry about so much. And it comes out everywhere. And, it seems to me, once someone is angry about something, they can very quickly and easily jump to the next issue to be angry about.

There is so much heart ache, hurt, wrong in our world today. Everywhere we look, there’s something to get up in arms about. And depending on your world view, you may get upset about something someone else thinks isn’t that big of a deal. Depending on your past experiences, you may get angry about an issue someone else passes by.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t get angry. Even God knew we would. But before we get so angry we stop thinking, we should ask ourselves a couple questions.

One, is my anger righteous? Does it aline with what God would be angry about? Does His Word tell us that what we’re angry about is wrong?

If not, we need to process why we’re even angry. Maybe we’re just angry because someone isn’t in agreement with us, doesn’t see things from our viewpoint. If that’s the case, we need to be mature enough to be OK with others thinking differently than us.

Two, what am I going to do with my anger? Am I going to sit in it and get angrier and angrier? Am I going to let it fester? Am I going to let it transfer to other situations without truly thinking clearly?

Let’s face it, anger can actually make our brain stop making rational decisions. There’s no denying that. People have done some really awful things in anger and come out of it to then realize what they’ve done. So, sitting in it isn’t healthy for us.

God even reminds us in His Word “In your anger, do not sin” Eph 4:26. See, He knew we’d feel anger. It’s what we do with it that makes all the difference. Do you get angry and then spit it at those around you? Do you feel anger rise up in you when you read someone’s post on FB and post a bitter, unkind reply? Or maybe you don’t reply directly, but post something hateful on your own page in a passive aggressive manner?

In your anger, do not sin. This is a powerful statement and I hope it makes you pause like it does me. We will never win anyone to our way of thinking or even help them understand where we’re coming from when we are full of anger that comes out in hateful ways. We will just cause more divide. We’ll cause others to become angry as well. And we’ll completely close off any opportunity to be heard again.

I’ve seen and heard name calling. I’ve heard people tell others their opinion is garbage. I’ve seen hateful looks given by those who think differently to each other. And it only gets worse from there. These aren’t instances between kids on a playground. These are grown ups who should know better. These are grown ups who should be able to have civil conversation. But they’ve allowed anger to get the best of them.

Anger can be useful. It can alert us to an injustice. It can warn us of danger or an unsafe situation. Anger can be a reminder.

So, what are you going to do with your anger? Sit in it, attack others?

Or, let it spur you on to make a change? If you’re angry about something, get involved in a positive manner. Let the anger tell you there’s something that needs to be done here and maybe I can be a part of it in a healthy manner. There are organizations for every issue under the sun. Do your research and make sure you find a legitimate one to pour your time, energy, and money into. Be extra kind where you see injustice. Reach out and heal the divide, instead of making it worse with hurtful words or actions. Let your anger motivate you to positive action and then let the anger go.

Ephesians 4:26 continues, “do not let the sun go down on your anger.” Why would God add? Why doesn’t He want us to go to bed angry?

Some might say it’s just good advice to resolve an issue before bed, but recent studies have linked going to bed angry with actual changes in the brain. You can Google “go to bed angry science” and find a while slew of articles on it. Studies show that going to be angry actually makes it harder to let go of the issue and can cause you to wake up angrier. Maybe this explains why it seems once a person is angry about one thing, they can easily be angry about another issue.

Anger isn’t going to change another person, not in the long term, but it is going to change you. Negatively.

If you have the Holy Spirit, you have his fruit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. There’s no anger on this list. What are you known for?

I have tried for years to have a successful garden. At our old house we tried a small raised bed but it wasn’t big enough and in a really wet spot.

Then we tilled ground, built a big fence for deer and tried that. Oh the weeds!

When we moved into our new house almost 5 years ago now, there was this patch of 6 foot tall weeds. I was told that was the garden. We wanted to mow it down, only to find old fencing tangled hopelessly into the weeds. We ended up tying rope to the fencing and pulling it out with the car! I think we even went to chains because the ropes kept breaking!

I gardened there for a couple years, constantly fighting horrible weeds, prairie grass really. And rocks… so many rocks. One summer I paid the kids 5 cents a rock to pick them out of the garden. Big mistake! They about cleaned me out!

I finally asked my amazing hubby to build me a couple raised beds. So we gave up the in-ground garden and built two good sized raised beds on the space. They weren’t big enough for everything I wanted but it was a start. He dug amazing dirt out of our pasture and we grew a few nice veggies.

The next year we added 2 more beds. That was last spring. We decided to buy dirt for those instead of digging it out of the pasture. I don’t think we’ll ever do that again! The pasture dirt is a little weedy but so nice and rich. And, compared to the weeds in ground, it’s no big deal!

Still, for what I want to do it wasn’t enough beds. So this spring we added more. We went big and added four more good sized beds. Andrew has diligently scoured the scrap pile at work for composite material that can’t be returned. All my beds are made from things like Trex deck boards – stuff that won’t rot. I love it!

Why am I sharing all this? Because I think gardening, of all things, has so many ties to our spiritual life. I wanted it quick and easy. I want results quickly. I would have loved to have all eight beds 3 years ago. I would love to go back years and use what I know now then and feel successful at gardening!

But, just like life, it’s a process. After years and years I finally feel sort of successful at gardening. Every year I learned something new. Every year I added something to make it better. I already have plans for next year! Thankfully my husband loves me enough to go along with my plans and build what I ask.

Just last evening, we were walking in the garden and he noticed what I noticed. “Sure is a nice garden this year. Good job, hon.”

It’s not really just me who’s done a good job. As I weed the few weeds that crop up, I pray over my garden, asking Jesus to bless what our hands have labored at. I ask Jesus to help the plants bear fruit and give me wisdom in what I should do.

Is everything perfect? No. Most of my winter squash plants popped up and then wilted in the early extreme heat because I forgot to water them. My chamomile never came up at all. But, overall, I see success. I can look back over the last 4 summers at this place and say, yep, we’re getting it.

Someone told me when we moved to a hobby farm, it’ll take 5 years to feel settled. I always kept that in my mind when we would feel overwhelmed. And, here we are, it’ll be five years in October and we finally feel somewhat settled. There’s plenty we still want to accomplish, change, improve, and work on. And there always will be. But we finally feel less overwhelmed.

Do you feel overwhelmed in your spiritual life? Do you feel like the weeds and rocks are winning?

Take a step back and remember it’s a process. Just like the garden, I want quick results in my spiritual life. I want to “arrive”. I don’t want to struggle and be pushed by the wind and waves right now. But it doesn’t quite work that way. We need to build the right foundation. Just like building raised beds eliminated a lot of weeds, the right foundation in Christ and His Word can eliminate a lot of sin.

We need to keep pulling those weeds that do crop up, being diligent to remove sin and negative thoughts. Do you just sit in the yuck? I’ve seen people do this. They’ve had trauma, yuck, evil, and bad choices in their lives. And don’t get me wrong. Those are all so so difficult and hard to overcome. But, with Jesus, it is possible! Sitting in that yuck, just like letting those weeds grow, produces a certain kind of result. A result no one wants and no one really wants to be around. And the good fruit can’t grow!

If you’re willing to put in some hard work, stick to it, and not give up when you feel overwhelmed, you will see good results. It may take more time than you want it to! I wish I was at 16 raised beds now! But when I look back I can see so much good progress and see our work paid off! So, keep working at your spiritual life. Haven’t read your Bible in awhile? Pick it up! Haven’t prayed and thanked God in weeks, months, years? Just start by saying Thank you, God, for today! Thank you for blessing me with life and the ability to praise and love you!

You don’t have to figure it out alone either! I didn’t build those beds! I asked Andrew! He found the material, measured, cut, screwed it together and placed it. He dug the dirt and filled them. The kids helped me plant the seeds and plants. You don’t have to walk your spiritual life alone! There are so many solid Christians who would love to encourage you to get into your Bible and pray with you. I am reading certain books of the Bible with a friend this year and we often text each other, asking if we’ve been reading. It has helped me stay more consistent.

And, don’t forget to pray that Jesus would bless the work of your hands and give you wisdom for your spiritual life. He loves to answer prayers like that!

Happy spiritual gardening!

We’ve finished up our school year…mostly. I’m a mean mom and make my kids read, keep going with math, and practice music all summer. One summer, only one, we took off the whole summer and September was miserable! We spent the entire month trying to remember what they’d learned in math the year before. It was frustrating for all of us. So, learning from our mistakes, we do a couple days a week all summer.

Now that we’re mostly done, its clean up time! Once, long ago, my cousin said in her cute little voice, “in order to clean up you have to make a bigger mess first”. There’s some truth to that, although I don’t clean up the same way as my kids. But, I let them own it and go through their school shelf, sorting papers and getting rid of old things we don’t need anymore. There’s always lots of questions about what they should do with certain books and papers.

Once we’ve sorted, trashed, recycled, and made lots of decisions, we end up with a stack for each kid that we want to save.

Each of my children have a storage container that we keep their work in. Each year we add to it. I really don’t know what we’ll do with this boxes, but for now we have them. I guess with two graduates this year, we should pull them out and look through them!

The school shelf looks really nice once we’ve cleaned out… for about a day. Somehow these shelves are always getting messed up and quickly!

Summer is in full swing here with the garden, raspberries, baby goats, and all sorts of projects! Plus the pool is warm and clear and tempting! Getting my kids to do a little math is sometimes excruciating, but I know it’s good for them! We try to just get it done early so we can have the rest of the day to work outside and play outside!

We love summer and freedom that comes with it, but we also see the value in taking advantage of the extra freedom to dig into things we didn’t quite finish during the school year. Make the most of your summerwith a balance of work and play and your “autumn self” will thank you!

I’ve had so many requests for my Summer Reading Challenge booklist, I thought I’d make it accessible here.

My plan is my kids will each set their own goal for how many books they want to read over the summer. Then, they can choose from any books on the list!

It’s a good list. I’ve scoured other lists, vetted the books, tried to find things that are fun, interesting, and not just fluff. I’ve also tried to include a wide variety to interest everyone.

It’s alphabetized, and anything with an asterisks is non-fiction.

Get those kids reading!

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (Jules Verne)

A Long Walk to Water (Linda Sue Park)

A Night Divided (Jennifer A. Nielsen)

A Wrinkle in Time (Madeleine L’Engle)

Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl*

Anne of Green Gables (LM Montgomery)

Arabian Nights

Because of Winn-Dixie (Kate DiCamillo)

Black Beauty (Anna Sewell)

Bonhoeffer* (Eric Metaxas)

Brown Girl Dreaming* (Jacqueline Woodson)

Brian’s Winter (Gary Paulsen)

Brighty of the Grand Canyon (Marguerite Henry)

Bud, Not Buddy (Christopher Paul Curtis)

Cabin on Trouble Creek* (Jean Van Leeuwen)

Canoeing with the Cree* (Eric Sevareid)

Castle Glower Series (Jessica Day George)

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Roald Dahl)

Christian Heroes Then and Now* (entire series on different missionaries put out by YWAM)

Cricket in Times Square (George Selden)

Danny the Champion of the World (Roald Dahl)

Dear Mr. Henshaw (Beverly Cleary)

Detectives in Togas (Henry Winterfeld)

Dogsong (Gary Paulsen)

Escape from Warsaw* (Ian Serraillier)

Follow My Leader (James B. Garfield)

Gentle Ben (Walt Morey)

Hans Brinker (Mary Mapes Dodge)

Hatchet (Gary Paulsen)

Hattie Big Sky (Kirsten Potter)

Hero Tales* (Dave and Neta Jackson)

Heroes of History* (biographies of historical figures put out by YWAM)

Homer Price (Robert Mccloskey)

Incident at Hawk’s Hill* (Alan W. Eckert)

Inside out and Back Again* (Thanhha Lai)

Johnny Tremain (Esther Forbes)

Lassie Come Home (Eric Knight)

Little Britches (Ralph Moody)

Little House Series* (Laura Ingalls Wilder)

Little Pear (Eleanor Frances Lattimore)

Man Who Was Left for Dead* (Jenny Tripp)

Moon over Manifest (Claire Vanderpool)

Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH (Robert C. O’Brien)

My Side of the Mountain (Jean Craighead George)

Paul Harvey’s The Rest of the Story*

Peter Nimble and His Fantastic Eyes (Jonathan Auxier)

Return to Hawk’s Hill* (Allan W. Eckert)

Robinson Crusoe (Daniel Defoe)

Rocket Men* (Robert Kurson)

Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry (Mildred D. Taylor)

SeaBiscuit* (Laura Hillenbrand)

Shel Silverstein poems

Shipwreck at the Bottom of the World* (Jennifer Armstrong)

Snowshoe Thompson* (Nancy Smiler Levinson)

Sounder (William H. Armstrong)

Stubby the War Dog* (Ann Bausum)

Tarzan (Edgar Rice Burroughs)

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (Mark Twain)

The Bark of the Bog Owl (Jonathan Rogers)

The Boundless (Kenneth Oppel)

The Boys in the Boat* (Daniel James Brown)

The Cabin Faced West (Jean Fritz)

The Call of the Wild (Jack London)

The Candy Shop War (Brandon Mull)

The Chronicles of Prydain (Lloyd Alexander)

The Faithful Spy: Dietrich Bonhoeffer and the Plot to Kill Hitler (John Hendrix)

The False Prince (Trilogy) (Jennifer A. Nielsen)

The Family Under the Bridge (Natalie Carlson)

The Giver (Lois Lowry)

The Green Ember series (S.D. Smith)

The Hiding Place (Corrie Ten Boom) 

The Hobbit (J.R.R. Tolkein)

The Hundred Dresses (Eleanor Estes)

The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place series (Maryrose Wood)

The Incredible Journey (Sheila Burnford)

The Island of the Blue Dolphins (Scott O’Dell)

The Light in the Forest (Conrad Richter)

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (J.R.R. Tolkein)

The Penderwick Series (Jeanne Birdsall)

The Rise and Fall of Mount Majestic (Jennifer Trafton)

The Swiss Family Robinson (Johann David Wyss)

The Twenty-One Balloons (William Pene DuBois)

The Vanderbeekers of 141st Street (Karina Yan Glaser)

The War I Finally Won* (Kimberly Brubaker Bradley)

The Witch of Blackbird Pond (Elizabeth George Speare)

The Wolves of Willoughby Chase (Joan Aiken)

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (L. Frank Baum)

Treasure Island (Robert Louis Stevenson)

True Adventure Collection* (Paul Dowswell)

True Survival Stories* (Paul Dowswell)

Unbroken* (Laura Hillenbrand)

Where the Mountain Meets the Moon (Grace Lin)

Where the Red Fern Grows (Wilson Rawls)

White Fang (Jack London)

Wingfeather Saga (Andrew Peterson)

I’ve seen a lot of negative these days. And it’s easy to find, considering all that is going on in our world. News, social media, even in the stores there’s evidence of a changed world.

But, we can still choose what we focus on. Think about that for a moment. You get to choose. You choose if you read every news article about the virus. You choose how many times you check social media each day. You choose what you see.

I’m not saying that it’s easy to choose differently. It’s not. But it is possible.

These last couple weeks I have been doing my part in choosing to see the good. I’ve been working hard at looking at what God is doing in the midst of the storm. I’ve been trying to find the positive. Why? Because it’s healthy. It’s good for my mind and body and spirit.

I’ve seen people put aside all sorts of differences to help others. In a two hour time frame 500,000 Minnesotans stepped up to sign up to be a helper to others in this time of crisis. Two hours. They set aside religious, political, social differences, just to be there for others.

I’ve seen people downtown and in the parks walking, observing physical distancing and yet still chatting. Enjoying company, nature, spring, and health.

I’ve seen good in my own home. My kids have been stuck with each other. And it’s been a good thing. They have been making up the craziest games together. Make believe, forts, games, movies. They snuggle up together on the couch. They run around the yard with sticks. They are just enjoying life…together. They are making memories they’ll never forget.

“Remember that spring when we all had to stay home? Remember when we made up this game? Remember that fort in the barn?”

Of course, I’ll probably remember my house being consistently destroyed!

Think about what God is doing for families right now. Family dinner is kind of a must these days. I pray it’s bringing families closer together and I pray we’re changed in a good, lasting way from this. I also pray for broken and hurting families and for those out of work. I know this isn’t an easy time for anyone.

Another blessing I’ve found, is we can just relax. We get our schooling done in a relaxed schedule, without so much structure. We play together and explore together. We’ve been out hiking the parks around here often and there is nothing like being out in the trees, hearing the water running in the rivers and down the waterfalls. It’s soothing, healing, calming. I encourage you to get out walking in the woods.

We’ve also been able to begin a huge project in our home. We have two boys about to graduate high school and begin college. They’ve both chosen a two year college near by and are wisely staying home and commuting to save money. So, we’ve been rearranging bedrooms so they can each have their own room. I’m excited to share the finished project with you all soon!

We’ve also been able to begin a huge project in our home. We have two boys about to graduate high school and begin college. They’ve both chosen a two year college near by and are wisely staying home and commuting to save money. So, we’ve been rearranging bedrooms so they can each have their own room. I’m excited to share the finished project with you all soon!

Years ago, when I was suffering severe depression, my therapist encouraged me to write down three things I was thankful for everyday. I did it for months. And, it totally changed my mindset. It’s still changed to this day. I can look at a situation and fairly quickly find the silver lining, the beautiful in the hard, the blessings in the storm. I would encourage you to do it! It truly makes a difference.

In the midst of this storm, look for the blessings. Look for those helping. Look for how you can help. Look for the good. It’s there.

If you’ve found yourself unexpectedly thrust into the whole idea of having your kids at home for the next couple weeks and needing things to do, I see you.

There have been plenty of memes going around making fun of this situation, but I honestly don’t think they are very funny. Making light of someone else’s stressful and unexpected situation doesn’t help anything. In fact, it just puts up walls. I won’t do that. What I will say, is I have compassion for you.

I think we’ve all been there, where our plans look good and organized and then, because of something out of our control, it all falls apart. I understand that feeling of anxiety, rushing to figure things out, praying, feeling overwhelmed.

I can easily remember back to when my oldest were four and I was debating homeschooling. I had a full year to research, listen to the wisdom of others, go to conferences and homeschool meetings, and think it through. I still felt anxious and unsure of my choices and if it would even work.

If I felt anxious with a year of prep work, I can only imagine the anxiety that comes with having it all thrust upon you with hardly a moment’s notice. There’s no time to plan, no time to research, no time to adjust. I feel for you.

I don’t have any easy answers. I’m assuming that most of the public schools will provide online learning so you don’t have to gather curriculum and do all that leg work. That helps. But it’s only one facet of having your kids suddenly at home. Suddenly your children have much less interaction with their friends and teachers. They might have to be home unsupervised if you have to work, and we all know how well siblings get along all day, right? You’ll probably have a lot of down time because they’ll be able to get work done quicker than at school. You may even be scrambling to figure out childcare so you can work.

None of this is easy on any of us. I feel for those of you having to quickly change up your daily schedule and hope for the best. Those of us who have been homeschooling a long time don’t have all the answers, but hopefully we can offer encouragement if you reach out to us. Hopefully we can offer some insights and hope.

Here’s some fun you can have online and virtually to learn and pass some time!

Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Garden is offering a free Home Safari Facebook Live each weekday at 3pm, featuring one of their animals. Check it out on their FB page.

The Rustic Orchid Creative Workshop is offering free art lessons for your kids! How fun!

Here’s another with free art lessons:McHarper Manor

The Metropolitan Opera will live stream shows so you can enjoy them in your home! https://www.playbill.com/article/metropolitan-opera-after-shutting-its-doors-will-offer-free-streams-from-live-in-hd-catalog?fbclid=IwAR0wDHrxGizhjCUNPx1IYfGZ9wZupVgQVxBGLahFz7jHUg_C1ROAFVXBSTk

Some museums are even offering virtual tours! https://www.travelandleisure.com/attractions/museums-galleries/museums-with-virtual-tours?fbclid=IwAR1X3pvz-CjKOUQNVvOTANq3VjNRkG4Paan4ePNi7slDPhPGQ0YrQw5C1II

I’m sure there are many more out there! I hope if you find something of interest, you share it and keep the encouragement flowing. Together, as a community lifting one another up, we can get through this. In the midst of social distancing, there can be more unity than ever!

We just got back from a few days of vacation, which were much needed here. We’ve been so busy. I’m sure you can all say the same. Whether you have 2 children, or 10, we find ways to fill our time, don’t we?

This year has been crazier than most. I think part of it is that our kids are getting older and are into more activities. I try to be really careful what we say yes to. We typically don’t do sports, unless the child can drive themselves. We don’t say yes to everything, and yet, I think we’ve said yes to too much this year. I feel over busy and it’s starting to rob my joy.

My oldest two are about to graduate high school, which pains me to write. I am somehow so sad they’ve gotten this old. I feel like I missed their life somehow even though I was there the whole time. Maybe it’s because they are the oldest and I was so busy with babies for so many years, they just had to grow up fast. Anyway, we’ve been researching choices for next year – trade school, community college, work. And trying to figure out the best way to give them their own rooms. With 10 children, they’ve always had to share and it’s time they have their own space, especially if they are going to live at home while going to college.

The next four have gotten to the ages where they want to try activities, which is great except we live 20 minutes from everything. They’ve gotten into theater lately which is so fun and so time consuming! I attend a dance class with my daughter who needs a little extra time with mom. Three are in the public school band. It’s all good, but it all adds up.

Then there are four littles who need mom’s attention. Read with me, help me with math, play this game with me.

Oh, and they all need to eat. All. The. Time.

Then there’s just all the regular household chores. Don’t get me wrong, my kids do a lot. They know how to clean the house on Saturday morning, clean up the kitchen after every meal, haul in wood for the fire, take care of the animals and their siblings, and whatever else needs doing.

Still, someone, namely mom, needs to be the frontal lobe for the entire family! Just keeping straight who goes where at what time can make my head spin.

Could we all just stay home? Yes, we could. And we’ve had years where we haven’t done much and have stayed home a lot. But that gets lonely. And I see value in the things we do say yes to. I guess that’s what it comes down to, right? Is there a good reason to say yes? And you can’t use ‘fear of missing out’ as a reason. That’s not a good reason!

If you fall into bed at night exhausted, yet can’t sleep because of the to-do list for the next day running through your mind, I feel you. If you feel frazzled and yet satisfied, I get you. If you wonder if you’re doing enough or too much or the right things or the wrong things, I’m right there with you. If you are so busy it’s starting to pull you down, I get it.

I don’t have any easy answers. I guess one, we need to be better at saying no. If we’re overwhelmed already we need to be okay with saying no to the next thing that comes along. I know that’s easier said than done, but the life we want for our family doesn’t just happen. We have to set boundaries and say no in order for their to be margin.

I always try to look long term, so two, we need to realize that this season will rush by so quickly. I am still trying to grab ahold of the last 18 years that whizzed by and am wrestling with my twin boys graduating. It’s scary how fast time goes. So, I like to look to those who have gone before and see what they’ve done. Maybe that means paring down to enjoy moments together at home. Maybe it means saying yes to activities because you want your child to enjoy experiencing new things. For me, it’s a healthy balance.

And three, we need to be there for each other. Build a support system of amazing homeschool moms around you. And be encouraging to each other. Cheer each other on! Give that mama next to you a compliment. Tell her she’s doing a great job. Help her drive her kids or organize her school room or just go have coffee with her and listen to her fears and joys surrounding her kids. Be that friend you want. We can’t do this alone, homeschool mamas!

I’ll leave you with this: 1 Corinthians 10:31

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

He’s the One we’re living for, He’s the One we should ask and allow to direct our paths, and He’s the One we should glorify in all we do.

Well, it’s been forever since I’ve posted something. I don’t know why, but I’ve been in a dry spell. Just can’t think of anything to say. Life is kind of just cruising along at about 100mph. The days blur into each other and sometimes I think I’m in the movie Groundhog Day…each day like the one before. I know I should be thankful for that. Mundane means everyone is healthy and accounted for.

I thought I’d speak to you fellow homeschool moms for a few posts. Sometimes I forget that HUGE part of my life and the fact that I’ve been doing it for 14 years now. Not that that means I have it figured out…cuz I don’t! Every year something changes. Every month I am shocked that so much time has flown by. Every day I question if I’m doing the right thing.

You’re not alone, homeschool mom. I see you. I get you. I feel you.

I think I’ll do a series special for you moms. If you have anything specific you want to know, please tell me!

Right now, I want to dispel a myth that runs rampant among us moms. I bet you’ve thought this, said it out loud, and believed it wholeheartedly. (If not, good for you.) Here it is:

My kid is behind.

You’re nodding your head right now, aren’t you? You’re probably even saying, “But, Sarah, my kid actually is behind.”

I want to ask you some questions I have had to wrestle with myself.

What do you mean behind? Behind in a subject? Behind emotionally or socially?

How do you know your child is behind? Who or what are you comparing your child to?

I’m guessing you are comparing your child to other kids, whether homeschooled or public schooled. I did it too. A lot. And I can only tell you one thing, as a good friend.

Stop. Just stop.

If 3rd graders are doing division and your 3rd grader isn’t, who cares? Who put that standard in place for all 3rd graders to begin with? Did that random board of supposed experts know your child? Did they know any children for that matter? Did they or do they know your life experiences? Do they have any idea what your child is exceling in?

If your child is a slow reader or has a hard time at math, does that mean he or she is actually behind? Or is comparison just robbing your joy with your child and causing you both to be frustrated?

I have kids who have learned to read at 5, others who haven’t learned until 8. I have children who are amazing artists but cry if you ask them to read a book! I have kids who excel in math and others who could take apart an engine and put it back together, but if you gave that child a math book there would be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Does this mean that I don’t have the one who dislikes math, do math? Of course not. But, if there’s frustration and tears, put away the math, put away the standards you are pressuring yourself with, put away the pressure from the outside world (including family), and do something your child enjoys. Then come back to math.

One of my kids never liked school, never. He cried, he would hide his books, he would lie that he’d done a subject when he hadn’t. But you give that kid some tools and he could figure out just about anything. I can’t do that. That’s a gift, a unique gift that he’ll use for the rest of his life and probably make a good living with.

All those years, I fretted, worried, yelled, argued and put undue pressure on…guess what. He’s going to be okay. He’s going to turn out well and be able to stand on his own two feet.

I have another one that, right now, can’t walk up the 17 steps to the second floor, into his room and get dressed without getting completely distracted. I’ll find him 20 minutes later building an elaborate marble works with half his pajamas still on. Drives me batty. Had he been my first child, I would have worried, yelled, pleaded (let’s face it, I’m sometimes still do that), but I am learning now that it’s a beautiful part of his gifting and personality. He is always, always, always thinking, wondering, questioning the world around him. What if I did this? What if I changed that?

When I stop to listen to his ideas I’m amazed at how smart he is. Does he run on a different clock? Uh, yeah. Can that be annoying when we’re trying to get out the door? Definitely. But, is he behind? No. He’s just who God created him to be.

Your child is unique. No one on earth is just like your little boy or little girl. Don’t you forget that. And because of that, comparing your child to any other person on this planet is unfair. You simply can’t do it! Because it’s like comparing an elephant to a monkey or a steak to an apple. They are so different it’s impossible.

This meme is silly, and yet it’s exactly what we’re doing when we compare.

I leave you with this: Psalm 139. These words are God’s about you and your child. And they are true.

For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.^[a]
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.