A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping rain. House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. Proverbs 19:13-14
Today is my mom’s birthday. She would have turned 68 today, which doesn’t seem all that old. And yet, she’s already been gone 24 years. How that much time has passed, I have no idea.
I’ve been reading one chapter of Proverbs each day of January and these verses made me think of my mom. She lived daily with an alcoholic who failed at being a good husband and father in so many ways. She could have nagged and picked quarrels with him every day. Most people probably would have thought her justified.
Yet, she was prudent. I remember her talking to him about it, calling him out on it, and standing her ground on some things that were extremely important. But she didn’t nag or cause quarrels. And that’s not an easy thing when someone close to you is in sin!
It made me think about how I want my home life to be. I want my husband to want to come home to me. I want my kids to feel peace in our home.
That doesn’t mean we don’t address hard things. We need to! But the way we do that matters. We can address conflict, sin, and behavior issues with calmness and grace without backing down on what we believe in.
This isn’t easy for me at all. I tend towards anger and can jump the gun on conversations because I get heated. My hubby is so good at this and I’m learning from him. And my mom was so good at it too. I remember feeling like I could go to her with anything and trust she’d listen and talk it through without just getting angry with me.
I hope and pray I can emulate her! And as I read through Proverbs I hope and pray it sinks in and changes my heart to reflect Christ more and more in my roles as wife and mother.
There’s this very common belief in our society that when someone turns 18, they are suddenly and magically an adult. It’s prevalent in every area, including our churches.
But is it accurate? If you haven’t figured it out yet, I question just about everything. I want to know the reasons behind societal norms because often they aren’t rooted in Scripture or don’t have beneficial consequences.
The idea that someone becomes an adult at 18 stemmed from the Industrial Revolution and child labor laws. It actually started to protect children.
Unfortunately, it’s gone much further than that. It became a very prosperous idea for lending institutions. Get kids out of parents’ houses at 18 so they need a mortgage, a car loan, college loans, etcetera. Suddenly it became a motivation to get people out on their own and it was pushed more strenuously.
We’ve taken a different view. While I don’t want my 24 year olds living in my basement unproductive and too comfortable, there is something to be said for not pushing every 18 year old out the door. Now I’m not saying it’s wrong for a young adult at 18 to leave home and go to college or get their own place. Some need that and are ready for it.
But I do think we need to be mindful of what our kids need at that age. And it might just be living at home for a little longer.
Our oldest two stayed with us until they were just shy of 21. They did college while living at home and walked away with zero debt. On top of that, they were able to purchase vehicles without loans. When they left, one for married life and one for Marine life, they were ready. We knew they would thrive and make wise decisions and be successful.
Our son Elliot is 19 now. When he graduated high school he knew he didn’t want to pursue college for a while so we encouraged him to find a full time job and stay home and save. He found a job he loves and was already able to purchase a really nice pick up for himself, completely debt free. Is he capable of college or life on his own?
Absolutely, but he’s also such an amazing asset to our home. He’s an awesome playmate for his three active younger brothers who all look up to him and emulate him. He brings laughter and joy to our home everyday and we’d all miss out on the relationships we have with him if he moved out.
By no means are we keeping our kids at home against their will. We also don’t discourage college or further education. But we do try to have honest and clear conversations about it all and not just go with the flow of society.
As parents our job is to guide and direct our kids to paths of righteousness. That includes when they turn 18! Let’s be wise and help our young adults find wisdom so that they can start their adult lives off on the right path. Each of them are individually created with different goals, interests, and talents and it’s a blessing and privilege to come alongside them and help them discover what God has for them.
On the last day of the year I was driving with my seven year old. I mentioned it was the last day and the new year started the next day.
“Was 2025 a good year?” He asked.
“Well, there were good things and hard things in it. We had some losses and we had some good things too.”
“So it was a normal year?” He asked.
I think all too often we have this unrealistic expectation that we “deserve” a good year or we shouldn’t have any hardships. We want comfort and ease and never ask for difficulties.
But that isn’t real life.
Last year we lost a close friend, a dog, a baby, a lamb, cars. Some were harder losses than others.
But we had good things too. Andrew got a new job that has blessed our whole family in many ways. Projects were accomplished. We had an amazing family trip to our cabin and everyone grew in so many ways.
Charles Swindoll said, “When I ask people when they really grew spiritually, they never describe an easy time. Never.”
We’re all going to face hardships our entire lives. Our mindset in it is what matters. Do you whine and complain and feel envious of those who seem to have it easy? Or do you ask God what He’s trying to teach you in it? Do you find the blessings in the midst of the difficulty or do you just focus on the negative?
Did you know that research has shown that how we think about a situation actually rewires our brain? It’s called neuroplasticity and I don’t think we truly understand the power of this. When we focus on the negative, we will continue to see the negative.
When we look for the good and positive, we start to see it more and more. We actually rewire our brain to see the good. It’s really cool! And it’s really real.
In the past two weeks we’ve had a lot. Truly, a lot.
Our son and his girlfriend came to visit for Christmas. It was our first time meeting her and then we all got sick with influenza. We had numerous Christmas events and in the midst of it all, our cat got really sick. Then we had to say goodbye to Isaiah and his girlfriend, whom we had fallen in love with. I rang in the New Year with a child on the couch suffering from croup. Then we had to make the hard decision to put our cat down. It still sounds like a symphony of coughing in my house.
I could choose to look at all the negative. But I choose to see the good in it all. We got to see Isaiah and Karli and welcome her into our family. We went sledding and enjoyed good food. In the middle of the night with the croupy child, we stood on the porch letting her breathe in the cold air. She looked at me and said so sweetly, “I’ve never been outside at this time before. It’s nice.” (It was 3:30am)
Then yesterday, two of my girls got in an accident. It could have been so terrible but praise Jesus he protected them. They hit a snow drift and spun, sideswiping an oncoming car. Had he not swerved when he did, it would have been a head on collision. Again, I can focus on the terrible fact that they had an accident. Or I can thank God they are safe.
So, how are you wiring your brain? Are you going into this new year thinking it’s going to be “your year” and it’s going to be amazing and perfect? Or are you ready to look for the good and blessings in the midst of real life? Are you ready to thank God for the good and for the way He carries you and refines you in the hard?
I don’t look at all the hard in the last two weeks as a premonition of what’s to come this year. I don’t see all those things and think, oh great 2026 is going to be terrible. They are all just part of life. And God is so faithful. Every single time there’s something difficult, I see Him. I see His love for us and His goodness to us.
As you enter this new year, remember we aren’t promised all ease and comfort. But we are promised that He will never leave or forsake us.
It may all seem like small things but you are a blessing to your family. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that your job isn’t important. Don’t ever say “I’m just a stay at home mom”. You are changing the world while you stay at home.
I was talking to a friend who spent a few days in the hospital recently. When she got home she was supposed to be resting. But there are always endless needs when you’re a mama. And let’s face it, our hubby and kids just can’t do it like we do. Their standards for meals and a clean home aren’t the same as ours. Her struggle between rest and needing to fulfill her role is one we all struggle with!
I experienced this when I was miscarrying. My family did great but when I walked downstairs for the first time after days being in bed, I had to take a deep breath.
I realized we can choose in that moment to get frustrated. Or we can see how much we truly impact our families everyday. Every time we do a load of laundry or make a healthy home cooked meal or give kids baths, we’re ministering to our families. We’re showing them Christ’s love as we lay down our lives for them and help keep their lives running smoothly.
It’s been proven time and again that clutter and messiness disrupt peace and the ability to think clearly. Guess what moms do? They are constantly removing the clutter and mess. We walk around all day picking up, tidying, purging, and wiping things down.
And we all too often think it’s just a mundane and invisible and maybe even useless task. But it’s not. Not at all.
The blessing mamas bring to their families when they take good care of the home, the body, and the heart is immeasurable. There isn’t a price we can put on how important it is for mama to be there serving in the perfect way only she can.
Mamas, every time you fold clothes and tuck them away you are blessing your children. Every time you scrub the dishes and counters, you are showing them you care for their well-being. Every time you put away toys and clutter and sweep the floor you are being the hands and feet of Jesus to those most precious gifts he’s given you.
One thing I love about homeschooling is having flexibility to do something different every once in awhile. Yes, the bookwork matters, but life skills are so important.
Today school looked differently. We went shopping together to fill Operation Christmas Child boxes and to get a birthday gift for a friend. The kids had to work together to pick gifts out and also control themselves in asking for things for themselves. They did great!
I told them as we were going into the store that we were shopping for others, not ourselves and they nailed it. They were all discussing what other kids would like and enjoy playing with. It was so sweet to see them think of others before themselves.
Speaking of thinking of others first, can we as mamas all just make a pact now that we aren’t going to turn into Karens? Please.
We encountered two today, both in parking lots. The first yelled at me because she thought she couldn’t get into her car because I had parked next to her. It didn’t matter that she was the one who had parked on the line. I had to move.
The other laid on her horn as I pulled into a spot. It was angled parking and I pulled into a free spot with no one to the right of me. She was facing the empty spot next to us and laid on her horn and yelled through her windshield at me. Obviously I couldn’t hear her but from her gestures I gathered she wanted to pull through and was angry I pulled into a spot. Again, it didn’t matter that you aren’t supposed to pull through angled parking or that I wasn’t even in the spot directly across from her. Even one of my kids said, “boy, was she irritated with you!”
It was honestly sad to see how some people just live their lives angry and irritated at everyone. Remember it shows a lot more about what’s in their heart than about you.
So, today, I’m just asking all my mama friends to not be those angry women in public (or at home for that matter)! Let’s model to our families and those around us how to put others first.
Philippians 2:3 ESV Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
The sunrise this morning!
And if you struggle with anger, as I do, let’s all agree to bring it to the cross over and over and over until the old has truly died!
Trusting in God often feels like taffy being stretched and pulled. You feel like you might break but it’s stretched just far enough that you change and bend. Then there’s rest to process and adjust.
Stretched but never broken. That’s how I feel.
This last week has been one of those stretching weeks. One of those times in my life where I’ve been stretched far beyond what I thought capable. If you believe the idiom “God never gives you more than you can handle”, just know it’s not true. He definitely allows things in your life that go beyond your capacity, reasoning, wisdom, and strength.
The amazing thing is that in those times, God also carries you and shows you His glory, His strength, and His faithfulness.
Not many people know this, but we were expecting our 13th baby this fall. There was a .03% chance that’d we’d get pregnant again. I won’t share how I know this percentage, just trust me that I know. We were very shocked and were dealing with a lot of emotions surrounding being pregnant again. It’s not like we are getting younger! And we have two grandbabies! Andrew is coming up on 50 next spring!
We were busy processing all the emotions of it and just coming to the point where we were starting to feel excited. Then, the bleeding started.
Over this past week, over the very day my mom was diagnosed with stomach cancer 24 years ago, we lost our sweet baby. We’ve never, in all our pregnancies had to walk this road. And I’ve always been grateful to God for that. It had always felt like something I wouldn’t be able to handle. Yet, here we are. And we’re being so sustained by God.
So many people brought us beautiful flowers that have cheered my soul!
He has walked us through each and every moment. We’ve felt lifted up and held by prayers. We’ve heard of people we don’t even know who have prayed for us. People are bringing meals and flowers, giving hugs and a listening ear. It’s one of those times in life where God is made tangibly known.
Weeks ago, when we had just found out, we had the very strong intuition that we were having a boy. We had no names picked out at all and nothing coming to mind.
One day, I was driving and praying about it all. I asked the Lord, “is there a name you want for this baby?” Right away Jonah came to mind. My very next thought was, Andrew won’t like that name.
About a week went by and Andrew and I were in the kitchen making dinner. He said, “You know, I had a boy’s name come to mind the other day but I don’t think you’ll like it.”
“Oh, yeah, well what is it?” I asked.
“Jonah.”
I laughed and shouted, “NO way! I had that very name come to mind a few days ago and thought you wouldn’t like it.”
We knew at that moment God had named our child.
Having to say goodbye to your child too early is not an easy road to walk. There is so much sorrow even though we never got to meet this little guy. He is a part of our family forever, even though he won’t grow up with his siblings. And there’s so much grief in our house with everyone grieving a different way and at different times.
But there’s so much good too. Knowing that Jonah went straight from the safety of the womb to the safety of Jesus’ arms is a blessing none can deny. He’ll never have to know the difficulties of this world.
Seeing our children love a baby from the moment they heard about him is amazing. Not one of them questioned adding another sibling. They just jumped up and down, excited to welcome him. And they cried when they heard he went to heaven early. Having our kids know beyond the shadow of a doubt that babies are a blessing and a gift is an immeasurable blessing.
Feeling God’s love wrap around us as we go through this has strengthened our faith and trust in Him. He’s always here, never leaves or forsakes us, and always carries us through. I’ve felt Him nearer than I have in a long time and have been so comforted by Him. He is so so good, all the time.
Jonah means ‘God’s sovereignty’. God showed us through this that He is on His throne with might and strength for us in dark days. He is a fortress and a refuge we can run into and be safe.
We gave Jonah the middle name Michael, which means ‘Who is like God?’. God displayed His power in protecting me as I miscarried. God showed His glory in so many ways, including how He gave us Jonah’s name. God showed His immeasurable and all powerful love through those who have ministered to us. There is truly no one like God.
Though we are still grieving and will for awhile, I wanted to share this with you all while it’s fresh in my mind. I want you all to be reminded that God is good. He loves you so much and cares about the tiniest details of your life. He is there in sorrow, He is there in joy.
I don’t know how we’d make it through something like this without God. If you are walking without God as a close companion, I want to encourage you right now to pray, ask Him to come into your life and show you His sovereignty and glory. Ask him to prove to you the answer to “Who is like God?”
The other day David said, hey mom, take a picture of this! I turned and looked and he had built this 3D tower out of Jenga blocks that took me seriously minutes to figure out.
I immediately sent it to my oldest, Samuel, because he’d get it. We often call David Samuel Jr because their minds work so similarly!
They can picture something in 3D in their heads, turn it around in their mind and see it from all sides, and then build it or draw it. They are both amazing artists and designers.
I love to watch how their minds work. Both can sit quietly for hours thinking, strategizing, and executing something they came up with and it always awes me. And I love giving David time to explore this gift.
Even though I’m done homeschooling Samuel and can just watch how he’s put that gift into practice daily with his job, I’m still so thankful we homeschooled him. And I’m so thankful David gets that opportunity as well.
One of the great beauties of homeschooling is letting our kids discover their gifts and talents and give them time to try it out. Samuel would often grab some wood and tools and throw something together. In fact, he just did it the other day when he was over!
Each of us has a gifting or bent towards something. And it’s good to follow those! It’s ok if one of your kids is horrible at math and another excels at it. It’s perfectly normal if one reads at 5 and another doesn’t read until 10. Those successes and weaknesses show us where our kids’ giftings lie. It doesn’t mean you scrap math for the one who struggles with it, but it does give you the freedom to not stress over it.
I have a child who only made it to pre-algebra and even that was a struggle. Guess what? He’s doing just fine in the great wide world! He’s a successful, capable adult.
Let homeschooling give you freedom to pursue those talents and don’t stress over the weak spots! If we each evaluated ourselves, we’d find we still have weak spots!
I love this photo because it perfectly captures David’s personality. He wasn’t upset, just staring at the waves on Lake Superior contemplating and thinking!
I’m not sure where to begin. My heart is sad and heavy today. I’m sad not just because Charlie Kirk was murdered yesterday, but because of what it reveals about the state of our nation.
There are many who celebrated his death when they heard, posting themselves dancing on TikTok and speaking aloud their joy in another person’s death. There was cheering in TMZ Media’s studio when the staff there heard the news.
Can you even imagine cheering at someone’s death? It’s baffling to me. No matter whether you agreed or disagreed, Charlie Kirk was a human being, a husband, a father. His wife never gets to kiss him goodnight again. His children never get to run into his arms again.
Photo from Creed Confessions
If you rejoiced at this news, even if you just thought “good riddance” or “he got what he deserved”, please go stand in front of a mirror and digest who you really are. Stand convicted of the hate and sin in your heart.
Charlie Kirk was willing to put everything on the line for his faith. He didn’t do it with violence or anger or hatred. He was always seated at a table in a humble manner when taking questions. He was always willing to hear others and answer intelligently and calmly.
You don’t have to agree with what he stood for. You don’t have to like it. But we all need to come to a place where violence in response to disagreement cannot be the answer. Somehow we have to find that common ground that every person everywhere has the right to life, peaceful life, that every person is a human being with loved ones, a soul, and thoughts and feelings.
Christian mamas, this is a turning point in our culture. We have been fighting the good fight at home everyday but let’s be even more purposeful in teaching our kids the truth of God’s Word and what freedom should really look like. Let’s stand up for what we believe in, step in and help when we see a need, and never shy away from sharing the love of Jesus. It’s time to take up the torch Charlie had to put down. All of us.
Each of us and each of our children have a purpose in this life. We need to be equipped and we need to equip our children to be ready for that purpose. We live in dark days but that just means the light of Jesus is going to shine brighter and brighter. Get into the Word, memorize it, pray, and share God’s love and teach your kids to do the same.
I remember my first day of kindergarten vividly. I was so terrified as we drove up to the school. I remember hiding in the back seat, trying to shrink down. When my parents got me out of the car, I started to cry. I clung to my mom and an aide pried me off her and held me as I kicked and screamed while my parents drove away.
I have no idea what possessed my parents to think that was ok and normal. I don’t know if it was a bit out of desperation because if I went to school they didn’t have to pay childcare anymore or if they just thought, well she’s five, she has to go.
Sometimes, actually many times, I notice people just don’t think things through. It’s just how it’s always been or the “norm”. Do what society does because it’s expected.
I remember thinking often about this memory as I watched my little girl struggle with social settings. In her very early years she would cry and bury her head in my shoulder if anyone said hi to her. For a long time she was afraid to talk to anyone except her siblings.
When she was five she wasn’t quite as shy but big groups were very overwhelming to her. She would basically shut down and once she was home she’d find a quiet corner and do her own thing.
Today, at 13, she loves her friends, one or two at a time. She shines on stage playing her flute or acting. She has the biggest smile for people and is so kind and thoughtful. She’s definitely still an introvert and always will be, but she’s confident in who she is and comfortable around people. She’ll still say, “there’s so many people” or “I need some alone time” but she’s learned how to navigate those “extrovert” situations.
I love that homeschooling has allowed her to blossom at her own pace, in her own time, in her own way. Unlike me, she wasn’t forced to manage something she wasn’t ready for. She wasn’t pushed into a large group where she was terrified for no other reason than she turned five.
Homeschooling is way more than math and reading, although she’s really good at those too. It’s about letting our kids be who they were created to be. It’s about giving them a safe environment where they are protected from things they aren’t ready for. It’s about cherishing those very different personalities each of our kids possess.
She’s an amazing young lady, who is a joy to be with. I’m so thankful I get to have her at home where she isn’t zapped of all her energy everyday just trying to manage lots of people!
I have this little boy in my house who frequently leaves me baffled and wondering, what do I do with him. He’s passionate, energetic, stubborn, and fiercely opinionated. And if he doesn’t like something he won’t do it and you can’t make him.
He’s come a long way in learning self control and controlling his emotions. I remember vividly when he was a baby he would scream and thrash and kick me when I just wanted to change his diaper. His temper frequently got the best of him and he’d hit or throw something while screaming.
Of course, as his mom, I see how far he has to go still too. And there are still days when I think, oh boy, if he doesn’t learn to chill there’s going to be trouble. But, for the most part, thankfully, the Lord has given me a long term perspective with him. And there’s lots of laughter and joy with him too. Because his strong, passionate emotions span the entire spectrum.
There’s lots of reasons to homeschool for me and he’s one of them. I know he would likely be labeled. I know he’d likely challenge any teacher he encountered to his own detriment. I know there would be phone calls home because of his lack of enthusiasm or downright refusal to do something.
Now, I am not okay with my kids treating authority with an utter lack of respect. I don’t let him get away with it. But that also doesn’t mean that I can just tell him once not to act like that and he’d quit. This is a struggle for him and he’ll even admit that. He doesn’t like when he bursts out at people, but I know from my own experience it’s not an easy lesson to learn. I still struggle at times with lashing out so I get it all while I don’t condone it.
Having him at home means we can spend the time we need to on character, behavior, emotions, and relationship. He’s not away from me for eight plus hours a day, where I can’t help him learn how to manage his passion. He gets the time he needs to cool down and work through the hard things while he’s at home without worrying about falling behind in any school subjects. Because in our house there is no behind.
This kid doesn’t know how to read yet, and frankly, doesn’t care about letters. But he is learning how to be gentle, love deeply, control big emotions, handle conflict in a godly way, and he even gets some math in there.
I know that the Lord has amazing plans for him. Someday he’s going to do just what the Lord called him to and do it with more passion than most. He’s going to be a force to be reckoned with for God’s kingdom.
For now, I’m so thankful he can be at home with me, where we can hone that passion without squashing it. I’m so thankful even on the really hard days that he’s somewhere he feels safe and able to express those big emotions and work through it all with people who love him dearly.
Desired Haven Farm 