Thank you, God

I haven’t said much this summer. It’s been a weird season, where God has asked me to be quiet and listen. And I honestly haven’t heard much from Him yet, but I can trust He’s working.

We were so excited this spring when it warmed up early and the ground was ready to plant in April. That hasn’t happened since we moved here! We were eager to get our crops in and get to growing and serving.

We spent hours and hours hoeing, planting and marking our rows. Everything looked pretty good.

Then it started to rain. And rain. And rain.

From the beginning of May to now, mid July, we’ve had over 53 inches of rain. That’s almost four and a half feet of rain! It came in torrents. Three inches in an hour. Seven inches in an evening. Five inches in a weekend.

It’s hard to watch your garden sit underwater, all your time and effort literally being washed away. After every flooding, we’d replant, sure this time it would grow. It couldn’t possibly keep raining, could it?

Yes it could. And it has.

Last week we finally made the difficult decision to shut down our CSA for the summer. We just have nothing to give out. Even the lettuce that was looking good quit growing and just started wilting away. The leaves on all the plants are turning yellow. Tomato and pepper plants are still the same height as when we planted them.

Then yesterday, as if to confirm our decision, our property got hit with hail and over 3″ of rain. Any plant that was desperately struggling to survive, was shredded AND flooded.

I don’t know if I’ve ever asked God more often “What are you doing?” than I have this summer. I still have no idea.

I’ve stood in the garden and cried. I’ve stood there and yelled at God. I’ve walked out there in silence just wondering.

The Lord has told me this week repeatedly to be obedient to Him. He keeps reminding me, I don’t need to know the end result, I just need to know He is good. He loves me. He knows the result He is working out. He is still on His throne.

This morning in church we learned about the parable of the sower and the four soils. One thing the pastor pointed out was that while this parable is about four different people, it’s also about the different seasons our heart can be in. When Jesus explains the seed that falls on rocky soil he says, “and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately he falls away.”

The pastor had us all say, “when, not if”. When, not it. Tribulation and persecution will happen. The Bible tells us that numerous times.

Our response is what matters and is our responsibility. I can’t control all the rain. I can’t stop the flooding.

But I can control my response.

What should our response be in times of trouble, devastation, and sadness?

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth!
²     Serve the Lord with gladness!
    Come into his presence with singing!

³ Know that the Lord, he is God!
    It is he who made us, and we are his;^[a]
    we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

⁴ Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
    and his courts with praise!
    Give thanks to him; bless his name!

⁵ For the Lord is good;
    his steadfast love endures forever,
    and his faithfulness to all generations. Psalm 100

We are to be thankful. Say thank you to our good good God, who loves us more than we could ask or imagine.

It might seem contrary to our nature. And it is. But we have to learn to fight against our nature everyday because it’s sinful. We’d rather complain and groan and say, but God, give me the answer now.

We can still say thank you for all God has done for us, for who he is, for his steadfast love and faithfulness.

So, though I have no idea what He’s doing or why, I will still say…

Thank you, God, for loving me well, for refining me in this trial, for walking beside me and guiding me, for cleansing my heart of selfishness, and for turning my eyes to you. Thank you for never leaving me nor forsaking me, thank you for dying on the cross for me, and defeating death to give me a place in heaven. Thank you for providing for my every need, even in the midst of flooding and devastation.