Tag: raising children

Whisks Away

I have the best three grown sons a mama could ask for. All weekend I got to spend time with these three, watching them wrestle, laugh, and love others. Every time I looked at them my breath caught and my heart skipped. Tears threatened to pour out and I caught my sob.

I’m not usually the emotional type, but having to grieve my dear, sweet friend Jan caused me to ponder life.

Mamas who were ahead of me in the journey would always tell me, cherish this when they are little. It goes by so fast.

I always thought it was going by so slowly. Days seemed endless sometimes, with the crying and nose wiping, and sticky hands. I remember thinking I’ll never get out of this.

And then all of a sudden, literally in the blink of the eye, I’m on the other side. And every time I’d watch these three this weekend, all I could think was, “how did we get here?”

I feel like I must have been on a bullet train all these years and wasn’t looking out the window at how quickly things were whisking by. I was only looking at what was happening inside, the life, the chaos, the beauty.

I can confidently say I didn’t miss it. I was there for it all. And I’m so thankful for that. But still, I simply cannot believe the speed at which it all happened.

So, mamas who are in the heart of sleepless nights, sticky everything, wondering if you’ll ever find yourself again, please hear me when I say it truly does go by so fast. Cherish every moment. Because you will, one day, blink and a sob will catch in your throat and you’ll ask yourself, “how did I get here?”

I heard it said, “Motherhood is raising people you can’t live without, to be able to live without you.” I feel that deep in my soul!

The Most Important Work

I overheard this conversation a couple days ago…

Lady addressing two young boys: “What have you been up to with no school today?”

Before the boys could answer, Mom answers: “Going crazy!”

Lady: “Oh I’m sure. I bet you can’t wait until tomorrow!”

It made my heart sink to watch. The two boys shrunk and didn’t say anything. Then one piped up and said, “Well I WANT to go to school anyway.”

Maybe he does like school, but I could tell it was a bit of a rebuttal against the adult’s comments.

Moms, Dads, let’s not talk like this about our children, in front of our children. Let’s do better. Let’s be better. Let’s show our kids better.

Our society portrays kids as a burden, a stress, and an inconvenience. Many can’t wait to push their kids off on others or school and look at holidays and summers as just something to get through. There’s nothing wrong with having a break from our kids, don’t get me wrong. I need them and enjoy them.

We simply don’t ever need to make our children feel like a burden or as if they are unwanted. They are always watching and listening. They are learning how to relate to others and someday their own children by what we model. When we make comments like “I can’t wait until they go back to school” we’re speaking loudly about what we think of taking care of and spending time with our children. And they pick up on that.

C.S. Lewis very wisely stated, “Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.”

If you choose to have children, remember they are little human beings that you have to raise to be big human beings. They someday have to relate to the rest of the world in some capacity and they learn from mom and dad more than anyone else in their lives.

What you say matters. How you spend time with them matters. Talking about them as a frustration teaches them something just like talking about them as a blessing teaches them.

Children are tough, don’t get me wrong. It’s not for the faint of heart to raise them up in the way they should go. But it is totally worth if it you stick to it. All of a sudden you have these amazing adults that count you as a friend, hug you when they see you with a big grin on their face, and are kind and generous to the world around you.

Believe me when I say, it’s worth it. When my adult boys hug me and say “Hi, Mom” or “I love you, Mom” I have to choke back tears. Every time. Did I do it all perfectly? Definitely not. Did I show them they were worth it and I loved them and they were a blessing not a burden? Yes. At least enough for it to sink into their hearts.

Even on the hard days, let’s choose to tell our kids, “I love you” “You are a blessing” “I love spending time with you”.