I remember my first day of kindergarten vividly. I was so terrified as we drove up to the school. I remember hiding in the back seat, trying to shrink down. When my parents got me out of the car, I started to cry. I clung to my mom and an aide pried me off her and held me as I kicked and screamed while my parents drove away.
I have no idea what possessed my parents to think that was ok and normal. I don’t know if it was a bit out of desperation because if I went to school they didn’t have to pay childcare anymore or if they just thought, well she’s five, she has to go.
Sometimes, actually many times, I notice people just don’t think things through. It’s just how it’s always been or the “norm”. Do what society does because it’s expected.
I remember thinking often about this memory as I watched my little girl struggle with social settings. In her very early years she would cry and bury her head in my shoulder if anyone said hi to her. For a long time she was afraid to talk to anyone except her siblings.
When she was five she wasn’t quite as shy but big groups were very overwhelming to her. She would basically shut down and once she was home she’d find a quiet corner and do her own thing.
Today, at 13, she loves her friends, one or two at a time. She shines on stage playing her flute or acting. She has the biggest smile for people and is so kind and thoughtful. She’s definitely still an introvert and always will be, but she’s confident in who she is and comfortable around people. She’ll still say, “there’s so many people” or “I need some alone time” but she’s learned how to navigate those “extrovert” situations.
I love that homeschooling has allowed her to blossom at her own pace, in her own time, in her own way. Unlike me, she wasn’t forced to manage something she wasn’t ready for. She wasn’t pushed into a large group where she was terrified for no other reason than she turned five.
Homeschooling is way more than math and reading, although she’s really good at those too. It’s about letting our kids be who they were created to be. It’s about giving them a safe environment where they are protected from things they aren’t ready for. It’s about cherishing those very different personalities each of our kids possess.
She’s an amazing young lady, who is a joy to be with. I’m so thankful I get to have her at home where she isn’t zapped of all her energy everyday just trying to manage lots of people!
Desired Haven Farm 