Young Adults

Let’s talk about young adults.

There’s this very common belief in our society that when someone turns 18, they are suddenly and magically an adult. It’s prevalent in every area, including our churches.

But is it accurate? If you haven’t figured it out yet, I question just about everything. I want to know the reasons behind societal norms because often they aren’t rooted in Scripture or don’t have beneficial consequences.

The idea that someone becomes an adult at 18 stemmed from the Industrial Revolution and child labor laws. It actually started to protect children.

Unfortunately, it’s gone much further than that. It became a very prosperous idea for lending institutions. Get kids out of parents’ houses at 18 so they need a mortgage, a car loan, college loans, etcetera. Suddenly it became a motivation to get people out on their own and it was pushed more strenuously.

We’ve taken a different view. While I don’t want my 24 year olds living in my basement unproductive and too comfortable, there is something to be said for not pushing every 18 year old out the door. Now I’m not saying it’s wrong for a young adult at 18 to leave home and go to college or get their own place. Some need that and are ready for it.

But I do think we need to be mindful of what our kids need at that age. And it might just be living at home for a little longer.

Our oldest two stayed with us until they were just shy of 21. They did college while living at home and walked away with zero debt. On top of that, they were able to purchase vehicles without loans. When they left, one for married life and one for Marine life, they were ready. We knew they would thrive and make wise decisions and be successful.

Our son Elliot is 19 now. When he graduated high school he knew he didn’t want to pursue college for a while so we encouraged him to find a full time job and stay home and save. He found a job he loves and was already able to purchase a really nice pick up for himself, completely debt free. Is he capable of college or life on his own?

Absolutely, but he’s also such an amazing asset to our home. He’s an awesome playmate for his three active younger brothers who all look up to him and emulate him. He brings laughter and joy to our home everyday and we’d all miss out on the relationships we have with him if he moved out.

By no means are we keeping our kids at home against their will. We also don’t discourage college or further education. But we do try to have honest and clear conversations about it all and not just go with the flow of society.

As parents our job is to guide and direct our kids to paths of righteousness. That includes when they turn 18! Let’s be wise and help our young adults find wisdom so that they can start their adult lives off on the right path. Each of them are individually created with different goals, interests, and talents and it’s a blessing and privilege to come alongside them and help them discover what God has for them.