When my son Isaiah was about 2 years old we had a little inflatable pool in the back yard. It was about 18″ deep and the boys were playing in it. They were running around in the water, laughing and splashing. Andrew was on one side of the little pool and I was on the other. We were paying attention to the boys but also talking to friends.
I heard a louder than usual splash and looked over to see Isaiah go under. He was on the opposite side of the pool from me so I hollered, “Andrew! Grab him!” He turned quickly and saw Isaiah. We both saw him floating between the bottom of the pool and the surface of the water. It was so eerie and was really only seconds but felt like minutes. Andrew reached in and grabbed Isaiah and lifted him into his arms.
Isaiah sputtered and cried but was fine.
I thought about this story recently because it’s a bit how I’ve felt these last few weeks. Kind of like I’ve been floating between the bottom and the surface.
Having a baby is so wonderful and amazing and also the hardest thing a woman will ever do. I don’t think our society gives enough attention to this fact. Most women I’ve talked to have this expectation that they need to just get back up and get back to life quickly. Many women go back to work 6 to 12 weeks after giving birth. Many are making meals and doing laundry a few days after birth.
What are we doing to ourselves?
Did you know you have a giant wound in your body after having a baby? If that giant wound were on the outside, a doctor, friends, everyone would tell you to rest and let it heal. But I think because it’s unseen it’s not given attention. And its not just a physical toll on your body. The mental and emotional strain is very real and also not talked about enough.
The last week as I’ve talked to other mamas I’ve heard the same story multiple times and it’s made me feel not alone. “I had more sad days after that baby than any other”. “I had horrible post partum depression”. “I cried a lot after that baby”.
I faced severe postpartum after both sets of twins so I’m familiar with it. It’s not a fun place to be and you can feel so alone. This time around I definitely had more sad and hard days than with some of my other babies, but not to the extent I had with the sets of twins.
But what I want you to hear, mama, is it’s ok. It’s ok to feel sad. It’s ok to think it’s too hard. It’s ok to feel like you are failing. Just don’t sit in it alone. Reach out. Almost every mama I’ve ever met has experienced these emotions to some degree in the year or two following a baby. We all get it. Don’t think you are alone or another mama won’t understand. We get it. We really do!
I said to my husband a few weeks ago, I just don’t feel like myself. He said, “I know. I can tell. And it’s ok. You just had a baby and it was hard. I’m here for you and praying for you and I’ll take any of the burden that I can. Just tell me.”
Just saying it out loud made it lose its power over me. Just voicing it made my mind clear some and hearing that i wasn’t alone lifted my spirit. I want you to hear these words too.
You’re not alone.
I am here for you.
I’ll pray for you and lift whatever burden I can for you.
Lastly, I want you to hear this above everything else. Mama, get into the Word of God. Everyday.
Please don’t tell me you’re too busy. I know busy. I’m so busy I work in my sleep! The busier you are, the more you need God. Get into His Word.
I’m memorizing Psalm 91 this summer. Join me! I’d love to challenge each other to get His Word into our hearts. If you see me, ask me how it’s going!
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only look with your eyes and see the recompense of the wicked. Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place— the Most High, who is my refuge— no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the adder; the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot. “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”
Psalm 91:1-16 ESV
https://bible.com/bible/59/psa.91.1-16.ESV
Read those words, Mama. He’s speaking them to you. Who needs his refuge and shelter? We do. Mamas have the hardest job on the planet. But with God, we can be victorious and see the enemies trampled. One of those enemies is these feelings of hopelessness, failure, depression, sadness.
He is my refuge and my fortress. He has lifted me from floating slightly submerged to the surface. He can do the same for you.
Desired Haven Farm 